Re: Rejecting the whole mentality

[Guest guest]

,

What a scary and

powerful thing you just did to share this secret with the group. You sharing

this with us and putting it into the light, is part of the intuitive process

you are undertaking. Secrets do not exist in the light and this disclosure is

part of the journey into a healthier relationship with food, with your body and

acceptance.

As you know it doesn’t work. What would your week look like

if you no longer gave yourself permission to purge? How would your body feel

and what thoughts would you have when you get the urge to binge but are not

allowing yourself to purge? Does binging ease the anxiety or does it replace

one uncomfortable emotion with an uncomfortable physical sensation? What would

happen if you did not use food to try to manage emotional sensations? What

would it feel like to just sit with them?

I hope you do not buy laxatives or use them again. What you

are doing is a form of self abuse. Yes, what you have been doing is NOT being

gentle with yourself… your body is telling you that it is full and you are

ignoring her and stuffing her because you are trying to deal with difficult

emotional discomfort. Then you abuse her again by giving her dangerous

laxatives which hurt and are embarrassing. The good news is when you stop your

body is quick to forgive you. You do not need to judge yourself or feel worse

about this… its not about judgement… its not about shame… it is about noticing

and changing behavior that is very old as it is a habit and bringing your body

and mind and soul into alignment.

You sharing that abuse and bringing it to light tells me

that IE is working in this place in your life. Trust the system. Trust your

body.

Dating again after a long time is really scary. The rules

have changed! During this time be gentle with yourself and take good care of

her. Men (or women) pick up on people who respect themselves and their bodies

and usually respond in kind. I have found that when I am loving myself the most

is when other people attracted to that force come into my life and it is

usually wonderful.

Hugs,

Jenna

[Guest guest]

Good for you.  Good insight.  Keep up the good work.  Remember IE is a journey and we each are on our own path. Sandy

 

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share a big realization I had last night in case anyone else here can relate. Sorry, this is not me at my finest.

I've been on the IE path since last Spring with ups and downs, but I know that I NEVER want to go back to the diet mentality.

Not sure if others here share this particular demon, but since highschool I not only was a binger but also a purger. Laxatives and vomiting were my way of " justifying " all I had consumed. As I got older, married, children, now divorced, I did get smarter and purging became pretty rare, but my secret is - I still do it. I barely even acknowledge it to myself so it is strange to type it here.

Yesterday, I binged. I'm starting to date again, and it is sooo scary. I am aware that is the emotion I am supressing with food. Like a late night robot, I ate and ate and felt sick and looked for my pack of laxatives and realized there were only two pills left.

Step 1 of IE is reject the diet mentality - I did that. I realized last night that I never rejected this other mentality - whatever you want to call it - but it's an unhealthy mentality that I am still holding onto.

I'm sharing my shameful secret because I'm thinking that we need to reject not just the diet mentality, but any habits or secrets of our old ways. Some we don't even realize we do until we have to choose between going to the store to keep the habit alive or finally give up the habit.

Tell me if this makes sense - IE is about being gentle with yourself. Yet what I have been doing (not often but still) isn't being gentle - it's abusing myself in a way.

I'm fully aware that purging like that doesn't get out all the calories and isn't healthy. It takes me days to get back on track with IE after doing it.

So I'm not going to buy more, and that scares me. My entire adult life I've held onto this. It's been my " back up plan " for when I completely fall off the IE wagon.

Hope I didn't gross anyone out. Thanks for reading

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing, . I'm sure it was very hard for you but I hope you got something out of putting yourself out there. While I can't relate directly to your experiences, I have also struggled with " rejecting the diet mentality " and found your willingness to share to be very powerful, I hope others will as well. I think it a great thing that you have realized this problem and are empowered to be gentle with yourself, and also that you have shared it with us. Best wishes!

 

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share a big realization I had last night in case anyone else here can relate. Sorry, this is not me at my finest.

I've been on the IE path since last Spring with ups and downs, but I know that I NEVER want to go back to the diet mentality.

Not sure if others here share this particular demon, but since highschool I not only was a binger but also a purger. Laxatives and vomiting were my way of " justifying " all I had consumed. As I got older, married, children, now divorced, I did get smarter and purging became pretty rare, but my secret is - I still do it. I barely even acknowledge it to myself so it is strange to type it here.

Yesterday, I binged. I'm starting to date again, and it is sooo scary. I am aware that is the emotion I am supressing with food. Like a late night robot, I ate and ate and felt sick and looked for my pack of laxatives and realized there were only two pills left.

Step 1 of IE is reject the diet mentality - I did that. I realized last night that I never rejected this other mentality - whatever you want to call it - but it's an unhealthy mentality that I am still holding onto.

I'm sharing my shameful secret because I'm thinking that we need to reject not just the diet mentality, but any habits or secrets of our old ways. Some we don't even realize we do until we have to choose between going to the store to keep the habit alive or finally give up the habit.

Tell me if this makes sense - IE is about being gentle with yourself. Yet what I have been doing (not often but still) isn't being gentle - it's abusing myself in a way.

I'm fully aware that purging like that doesn't get out all the calories and isn't healthy. It takes me days to get back on track with IE after doing it.

So I'm not going to buy more, and that scares me. My entire adult life I've held onto this. It's been my " back up plan " for when I completely fall off the IE wagon.

Hope I didn't gross anyone out. Thanks for reading

[Guest guest]

How brave of you, . I truly believe " we're as sick as our secrets " and I

know when I share any I have, even something seemingly small and insignificant

(which yours sure isn't!) things start pretty immediately to get better.

Fear is something I definitely have eaten over for years, so can relate to even

if currently not the specifics of your situation (tho' I've been there, done

that!) I've been looking lately at what I can do instead of eating, when fear

or other hard feelings come up and I'm not physically hungry. One thing I'm

starting to find very helpful is rather than look for replacement activities

that so often get suggested in magazines and books, to just let the feelings be

there and know I won't die from them - cry if I need to, scream when alone in my

car if I need to, take a deep breath with my stress at work and know it will get

better...even just taking a moment to name the feeling to myself, and either

pray for help, or decide to call a friend later, helps me.

>

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> I wanted to share a big realization I had last night in case anyone else here

can relate. Sorry, this is not me at my finest.

>

> I've been on the IE path since last Spring with ups and downs, but I know that

I NEVER want to go back to the diet mentality.

>

> Not sure if others here share this particular demon, but since highschool I

not only was a binger but also a purger. Laxatives and vomiting were my way of

" justifying " all I had consumed. As I got older, married, children, now

divorced, I did get smarter and purging became pretty rare, but my secret is - I

still do it. I barely even acknowledge it to myself so it is strange to type it

here.

>

> Yesterday, I binged. I'm starting to date again, and it is sooo scary. I am

aware that is the emotion I am supressing with food. Like a late night robot, I

ate and ate and felt sick and looked for my pack of laxatives and realized there

were only two pills left.

>

> Step 1 of IE is reject the diet mentality - I did that. I realized last night

that I never rejected this other mentality - whatever you want to call it - but

it's an unhealthy mentality that I am still holding onto.

>

> I'm sharing my shameful secret because I'm thinking that we need to reject not

just the diet mentality, but any habits or secrets of our old ways. Some we

don't even realize we do until we have to choose between going to the store to

keep the habit alive or finally give up the habit.

>

> Tell me if this makes sense - IE is about being gentle with yourself. Yet

what I have been doing (not often but still) isn't being gentle - it's abusing

myself in a way.

>

> I'm fully aware that purging like that doesn't get out all the calories and

isn't healthy. It takes me days to get back on track with IE after doing it.

>

> So I'm not going to buy more, and that scares me. My entire adult life I've

held onto this. It's been my " back up plan " for when I completely fall off the

IE wagon.

>

> Hope I didn't gross anyone out. Thanks for reading

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for sharing and being so open, honest and candid. That took so much

bravery for to do so and I commend you for that. I'm sure by sharing your story

you are helping others that battle the same thing.

I have no experience in what you are dealing with but sounds like you are doing

an AMAZING job of working at overcoming this.

All I can say, is first, just keep feeling your feelings no matter how

uncomfortable they are. Lots of deep breathing! ]

And like you said, be extra, extra gentle with yourself and be very, very kind.

Good luck,

Alana

>

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> I wanted to share a big realization I had last night in case anyone else here

can relate. Sorry, this is not me at my finest.

>

> I've been on the IE path since last Spring with ups and downs, but I know that

I NEVER want to go back to the diet mentality.

>

> Not sure if others here share this particular demon, but since highschool I

not only was a binger but also a purger. Laxatives and vomiting were my way of

" justifying " all I had consumed. As I got older, married, children, now

divorced, I did get smarter and purging became pretty rare, but my secret is - I

still do it. I barely even acknowledge it to myself so it is strange to type it

here.

>

> Yesterday, I binged. I'm starting to date again, and it is sooo scary. I am

aware that is the emotion I am supressing with food. Like a late night robot, I

ate and ate and felt sick and looked for my pack of laxatives and realized there

were only two pills left.

>

> Step 1 of IE is reject the diet mentality - I did that. I realized last night

that I never rejected this other mentality - whatever you want to call it - but

it's an unhealthy mentality that I am still holding onto.

>

> I'm sharing my shameful secret because I'm thinking that we need to reject not

just the diet mentality, but any habits or secrets of our old ways. Some we

don't even realize we do until we have to choose between going to the store to

keep the habit alive or finally give up the habit.

>

> Tell me if this makes sense - IE is about being gentle with yourself. Yet

what I have been doing (not often but still) isn't being gentle - it's abusing

myself in a way.

>

> I'm fully aware that purging like that doesn't get out all the calories and

isn't healthy. It takes me days to get back on track with IE after doing it.

>

> So I'm not going to buy more, and that scares me. My entire adult life I've

held onto this. It's been my " back up plan " for when I completely fall off the

IE wagon.

>

> Hope I didn't gross anyone out. Thanks for reading

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I just want to add to what everyone has already said. You are brave to share

and what a powerful story! Thank you for trusting us with your secret. I agree

with what has already been said -- that it is helpful to sit with and

investigate the emotions that make us want to binge. I like an exercise that my

therapist taught me and which is also described in Women Food and God by Geneen

Roth. It helps me to just feel and investigate the emotion instead of naming it

or explaining it. If you have not read it you can read about it here:

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Beginning-Inquiry-Women-Food-and-God-Excerpt

Good luck and be gentle with yourself!

Best wishes,

Eliana

> >

> >

> > Hello everyone,

> >

> > I wanted to share a big realization I had last night in case anyone else

here can relate. Sorry, this is not me at my finest.

> >

> > I've been on the IE path since last Spring with ups and downs, but I know

that I NEVER want to go back to the diet mentality.

> >

> > Not sure if others here share this particular demon, but since highschool I

not only was a binger but also a purger. Laxatives and vomiting were my way of

" justifying " all I had consumed. As I got older, married, children, now

divorced, I did get smarter and purging became pretty rare, but my secret is - I

still do it. I barely even acknowledge it to myself so it is strange to type it

here.

> >

> > Yesterday, I binged. I'm starting to date again, and it is sooo scary. I

am aware that is the emotion I am supressing with food. Like a late night

robot, I ate and ate and felt sick and looked for my pack of laxatives and

realized there were only two pills left.

> >

> > Step 1 of IE is reject the diet mentality - I did that. I realized last

night that I never rejected this other mentality - whatever you want to call it

- but it's an unhealthy mentality that I am still holding onto.

> >

> > I'm sharing my shameful secret because I'm thinking that we need to reject

not just the diet mentality, but any habits or secrets of our old ways. Some we

don't even realize we do until we have to choose between going to the store to

keep the habit alive or finally give up the habit.

> >

> > Tell me if this makes sense - IE is about being gentle with yourself. Yet

what I have been doing (not often but still) isn't being gentle - it's abusing

myself in a way.

> >

> > I'm fully aware that purging like that doesn't get out all the calories and

isn't healthy. It takes me days to get back on track with IE after doing it.

> >

> > So I'm not going to buy more, and that scares me. My entire adult life I've

held onto this. It's been my " back up plan " for when I completely fall off the

IE wagon.

> >

> > Hope I didn't gross anyone out. Thanks for reading

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks . I appreciate your sharing.

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: benjamineliana@...Date: Mon, 4 Apr 2011 14:58:28 +0000Subject: Re: Rejecting the whole mentality

Dear ,I just want to add to what everyone has already said. You are brave to share and what a powerful story! Thank you for trusting us with your secret. I agree with what has already been said -- that it is helpful to sit with and investigate the emotions that make us want to binge. I like an exercise that my therapist taught me and which is also described in Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. It helps me to just feel and investigate the emotion instead of naming it or explaining it. If you have not read it you can read about it here: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Beginning-Inquiry-Women-Food-and-God-ExcerptGood luck and be gentle with yourself! Best wishes,Eliana> >> > > > Hello everyone,> > > > I wanted to share a big realization I had last night in case anyone else here can relate. Sorry, this is not me at my finest. > > > > I've been on the IE path since last Spring with ups and downs, but I know that I NEVER want to go back to the diet mentality. > > > > Not sure if others here share this particular demon, but since highschool I not only was a binger but also a purger. Laxatives and vomiting were my way of "justifying" all I had consumed. As I got older, married, children, now divorced, I did get smarter and purging became pretty rare, but my secret is - I still do it. I barely even acknowledge it to myself so it is strange to type it here.> > > > Yesterday, I binged. I'm starting to date again, and it is sooo scary. I am aware that is the emotion I am supressing with food. Like a late night robot, I ate and ate and felt sick and looked for my pack of laxatives and realized there were only two pills left.> > > > Step 1 of IE is reject the diet mentality - I did that. I realized last night that I never rejected this other mentality - whatever you want to call it - but it's an unhealthy mentality that I am still holding onto. > > > > I'm sharing my shameful secret because I'm thinking that we need to reject not just the diet mentality, but any habits or secrets of our old ways. Some we don't even realize we do until we have to choose between going to the store to keep the habit alive or finally give up the habit.> > > > Tell me if this makes sense - IE is about being gentle with yourself. Yet what I have been doing (not often but still) isn't being gentle - it's abusing myself in a way. > > > > I'm fully aware that purging like that doesn't get out all the calories and isn't healthy. It takes me days to get back on track with IE after doing it.> > > > So I'm not going to buy more, and that scares me. My entire adult life I've held onto this. It's been my "back up plan" for when I completely fall off the IE wagon.> > > > Hope I didn't gross anyone out. Thanks for reading > > > >>