Re: new too

[Guest guest]

Hi, Marg,

Welcome to our group! I know you'll find, as I have, lots of good support here. It's very hard to learn to trust your body again after just dieting, let alone all that you've been through, but I think there is a way back to that trust. Just take it slowly, in baby steps. You don't have to accomplish it all right away.

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

All best,

Laurie

new too

Hi all,

I'm new to the group and would like to introduce myself.

I have yo-yo'd between unhealthy diets and compulsive eating for 30 years. Each time my weight would creep higher until I ended up over 300 lbs. In 2006, in desperation I elected to have lapband surgery, which is a tool that makes it easier to diet. I lost over 100 lbs and the weight loss stopped, despite stricter diet/exercise routines. It's been a long and painful battle and I want to stop the fight so I've turned to IE. Daily living with the lapband has been awful. I have had the saline withdrawn from my lapband (the lapband works by putting increasing amounts of saline in a silicone band that tightens around the upper stomach to create a "pouch"). I can eat normal amounts of foods, so that I can ingest the nutrients needed to feel full.

However, I'm terrified! I'm slowly adapting to the IE guidelines but it's been challenging. I fear that having a body/brain that is tuned to be morbidly obese (>100 lbs overweight) is too powerful a force for IE to work. I'm trying to accept myself at my current weight of 200 lbs but I do not ever want to weigh more than that again.

I am grateful this group exists and that there is so much kindness expressed by everyone.

Marg.

[Guest guest]

Hi Marg and welcome to the group!

I feel the same way you do, the fear that for the obese, IE is more difficult than for moderately overweight to conceive of and to practice. It’s a different mindset that causes a person to become obese and the overall length of time within that mindset has also established a disordered eating pattern that is very difficult to break.

But it is not impossible. Not at all. IN fact....it is vital!

I can only give my personal experience and that should always be tempered with the reality check that YOUR experience may be different and this may not help you. I only hope to give a perspective. Others with far more experience in this, may have much better ideas to present to you.

I do not believe a person with more than 100 pounds of excess weight can move into IE without understanding that the years of a disordered relationship to food is going to be highly resistant to normal eating behaviors. It is one thing for someone who is tired of dieting and wanting the peace that comes with accepting a plump body to re-learn hunger cues and legalizing food in order to not let them be so powerful. It’s another thing to have been obese most of one’s life and not having a clue as to subtle cues the body makes, because the sensations of fullness have been so extreme for so long. Legalizing food for a person who binges regularly doesn’t often have the same meaning as it does for someone who regularly restricts food and sees favourite foods as bad or unhealthy.

So it is a different perspective and needs a lot of daily practice for it to even begin to feel right. It helped me to realize a couple of things when approaching mindful eating. First and foremost...what did I want the most out of it? At first, I wanted peace with eating. I wanted to dump dieting and learn to eat normally. I wanted to quit bingeing and have a balance of some kind. At that time, I was deep in the clutches of bingeing and deep in the cycles of dieting to correct the binge behaviour and IE seemed like a far away idealistic dream. I knew what I was doing wasn’t working and was so tired of it all. This was many years ago, when I was first introduced to IE. I learned a lot during that time and it did stop the bingeing. But other than an initial small weight loss, what I did was maintain my body weight, and that was a major accomplishment for someone who was on the rise past 300 pounds! I was willing at the time just to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. To get back in touch with my eating, back in touch with my body, and learning that food was not the enemy....my way of thinking was.

However, after leaving IE and going through a huge stress and life changing experiences, I began the gain again and my eating became erratic and extreme. I was miserable and it only added to my other problems. I went on a diet so that I had control over something in my life (just about the only thing! lol). I lost half of my excess weight. As I realized that I would indeed lose the rest, I knew that I had to find that peace again, because I would not be able to diet forever, nor did I want to find myself wondering what the heck to do when at goal. Been there before, and I know how scary that can be! The one thing I did do in my diet, was not to restrict or put any food off limit. nor did I set a specific calorie range. I simply counted calories and made choices based on what worked to lose weight. I could not fail this diet, as there were no set rules, except the task of counting, which was minimal work, as I used a nutritional software to record it all.

For now (and everything is always changing, so it is not an absolute) I am continuing to count my calories to finish to goal. but I am adding a new dimension of mindful eating within that framework. This is where I am most comfortable, as I have not yet learned to trust myself and I am unwilling to go regain the weight I have lost. I already feel a difference in taking on this approach and feeling a sense of peace because I am taking the steps back to normal eating before I actually get to a normal weight. I see this as a way to transition into the way I would love to eat and nurture myself with positive energy and thoughts rather than see it all as a black and white absolute....I am either dieting or I am bingeing. I want the middle path.

Hope you find your path!

From: morriekins

Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2010 10:45 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: new too

Hi all,I'm new to the group and would like to introduce myself.I have yo-yo'd between unhealthy diets and compulsive eating for 30 years. Each time my weight would creep higher until I ended up over 300 lbs. In 2006, in desperation I elected to have lapband surgery, which is a tool that makes it easier to diet. I lost over 100 lbs and the weight loss stopped, despite stricter diet/exercise routines. It's been a long and painful battle and I want to stop the fight so I've turned to IE. Daily living with the lapband has been awful. I have had the saline withdrawn from my lapband (the lapband works by putting increasing amounts of saline in a silicone band that tightens around the upper stomach to create a "pouch"). I can eat normal amounts of foods, so that I can ingest the nutrients needed to feel full. However, I'm terrified! I'm slowly adapting to the IE guidelines but it's been challenging. I fear that having a body/brain that is tuned to be morbidly obese (>100 lbs overweight) is too powerful a force for IE to work. I'm trying to accept myself at my current weight of 200 lbs but I do not ever want to weigh more than that again. I am grateful this group exists and that there is so much kindness expressed by everyone.Marg.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Welcome Marg, You will find many people here who can relate to your struggle. We all know that pain of the diet roller coaster intimately and many of us have found great freedom in intuitive eating. Blessings on your journey!TanaTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, November 25, 2010 11:45:05 AMSubject: new too

Hi all,

I'm new to the group and would like to introduce myself.

I have yo-yo'd between unhealthy diets and compulsive eating for 30 years. Each time my weight would creep higher until I ended up over 300 lbs. In 2006, in desperation I elected to have lapband surgery, which is a tool that makes it easier to diet. I lost over 100 lbs and the weight loss stopped, despite stricter diet/exercise routines. It's been a long and painful battle and I want to stop the fight so I've turned to IE. Daily living with the lapband has been awful. I have had the saline withdrawn from my lapband (the lapband works by putting increasing amounts of saline in a silicone band that tightens around the upper stomach to create a "pouch"). I can eat normal amounts of foods, so that I can ingest the nutrients needed to feel full.

However, I'm terrified! I'm slowly adapting to the IE guidelines but it's been challenging. I fear that having a body/brain that is tuned to be morbidly obese (>100 lbs overweight) is too powerful a force for IE to work. I'm trying to accept myself at my current weight of 200 lbs but I do not ever want to weigh more than that again.

I am grateful this group exists and that there is so much kindness expressed by everyone.

Marg.