Re: Need advice trainer undoing my hard work

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the advice. I've told him the past two visits that I will not

calorie count again and I've been a normal eater for a while now but he pushed

more. He's very strong on his opinion to see results. He said he is a

nutritionist and he owns the studio where he offers the classes.

> >

> > I've been doing quite well and have not binged in a very long time. I'm

constantly working on normal eating - Intuitive Eating. I gave someone money in

advance for boot camp classes, which I enjoyed; however, last couple of classes

the instructor has been hounding me telling me what I should be eating, when I

should be eating, how much - calorie counting and to stop eating at a certain

time. He's been giving me grief for doing these classes and not listening to

his food/eating advise. I don't like chips but noticed I've been craving chips

and eating to spite him. The only way to join was to give him 3 months in

advance but now I would like to get my money back as I feel he is undoing all

the hard work I've done to date. I've been missing physical activity as an

outlet for a job I hate. I have tried to explain to him but he doesn't listen

and feels he is right.

> >

> > Thanks,

> > Jo.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

He may be a nutritionist, but he's not *your* nutritionist and that's not what

you're paying for, so he has no right to go against your wishes.

I'm sure this guy thinks he's doing you a favor because he's heard all the

excuses and thinks that you need him to " push " you to do more. That's *very*

common among trainers. So you're going to have to be very direct with him. One

thing I've learned since I started managing a staff is that there are a lot of

people out there that simply do not pick up on subtle messages. Saying you

don't count calories or that you're a normal eater is not the same as saying any

of the following:

I know you're trying to help, but I don't diet and I don't want to discuss

calorie counting or diet, period. You're not my nutritionist and I don't need

your advice in this area. This is not open for debate.

I don't appreciate this line of conversation, it's not helpful to me, I want you

to stop discussing this with me, now, and do not bring it up again.

I've asked you to stop and you refuse to honor my wishes. If you insist on

continuing this line of conversation I'm leaving. (then leave!)

etc.

I know this is hard. As women, most of us are raised to be polite and

non-confrontational, so being direct is very uncomfortable. It is for me. But

without fail, I've found that when I take the step of standing up for myself and

my needs, it's always worth it. Even if it doesn't work, I feel better for

having had the courage to make myself heard. (though usually, it does work!)

If he refuses to stop, you can ask if you can transfer your purchase to someone

else. You might be able to sell it at a discounta and recoup some of the money.

But realistically, he may be unwilling to do that, and I'm not sure there's any

legal obligation for him to allow that if he disclosed up front that the

purchase was non-refundable and non-transferrable. Again, he has an interest in

having happy clients, particularly as the business owner, so I would think he'd

want to work with you; your request is not unreasonable.

But if he won't, you may have to weigh the options and make a decision. Is the

harm he's doing by making you feel bad enough to eat when you're not hungry,

worth it, even if you otherwise enjoy the class? If not, you may have to just

eat the cost and walk away. Hard, in this day and age when money is tight for

most of us, but if it sets you back, then the damage of continuing it may be

greater than the cost of walking away.

If you think you can wait it out, then grit your teeth and finish the session

and do your best to ignore him and let him know when the session is over that

you will not be returning and why. It may make him think twice about his

methods and you never know, you may inspire someone else in the class that's in

the same situation!

Josie

>

> Thanks for the advice. I've told him the past two visits that I will not

> calorie count again and I've been a normal eater for a while now but he pushed

> more. He's very strong on his opinion to see results. He said he is a

> nutritionist and he owns the studio where he offers the classes.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well said Josie and thank you for that you are absolutely right!! I am

uncomfortable with confrontation as I have to be pushed too far before I stand

up for myself.

I just found out that he is not a nutrionist in the real sense. He is calling

himself that after a two day seminar on nutrition!!!!!

Seeing as he won't listen to me maybe I just say what he wants to hear, finish

my sessions then when it's over tell him why I will not be coming back or

recommending him to anyone - that way he's off my back and I don't lose money.

Thanks,

Jo.

> >

> > Thanks for the advice. I've told him the past two visits that I will not

> > calorie count again and I've been a normal eater for a while now but he

pushed

> > more. He's very strong on his opinion to see results. He said he is a

> > nutritionist and he owns the studio where he offers the classes.

> >

> >

>