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Re: death vigil

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Joanna

I lost nada a year ago this month. I m on that journey now. You do the

best you can. It will not be what you want it to be because your mom is

a BPD.

I m not offering advice, just pointing out that once she is gone,

anything you wanted to say is at an end. If that matters, you might

consider trying a goodbye visit. I m not advising, because I don t know

your situation.

I would also point out that we carry a lot of toxic unforgiveness. It

does nt hurt them , only us. If you are able to forgive her and let go

of the hurt, it truly benefits you. Not that she did not hurt you

deeply, as we all know nada s do. But consider what is best for you.

Having done that, do the best you can, and be gentle with yourself.

You don t owe explanations to anyone else.

You didnt ask for the troubled situation with your mom. For whatever

reason, she developed BPD. It makes relationships very difficult. It

is what it is.

Feel free to ask anything as you go thru this journey, or after her

death.

Blessings

Doug

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