walls and gates = romantic relationships

[Guest guest]

This is so off topic but I have to know:

I met a guy, we hit it off instantaneously.. We were both a little tipsy and

kissed. a lot, but nothing else. the next day he texted me .. and then we

texted for a little he said I was hot and smokin and perfect (which im not

but it was still flattering and a good sign), and nothing! I am going back

to school far away in a month, and am 6 years younger than he is.. could

this be the reason why he isn't texting back. Is it desperate if I text him:

" I want to see you again when you're in the city, call me sometime. " ... I

mean this is after a 2 week period of no texts, and the last text I sent was

last weekend, I said " thinking of you. " I know mushy, but I was intoxicated,

and just met someone so great, but so not for me, and so I was lonely and

thinking about how much I liked this guy! And he didn't write me back.. I

can't believe someone can seem so into you, and then nothing. I know I can't

let some jerk make me feel bad about myself, but the truth is my pride is

hurt. And I watch these tv shows like sex and the city, where these women

are so confident and get men at the snap of their finger, and I feel like

wow I am so much younger than these people, if I am not enjoying myself

-carefree and flirtatious- with men when I am young, when am I going to do

it?

Here's the other revelation: men my own age are not attracted to me! I work

at express, and part of my job is to greet. When guys my age come in and I

say hello.. they barely look and nod, when men in their mid to late 20s come

in, they smile a nice toothy smile and say hey how are you! In the movies,

and in the novels, and shows, the men are supposed to ask for your number

and then take you out on a few dates.. I mean, are guys nowadays too lazy to

put in work.. do they expect to get laid without dating and romance. Here's

the other thing I've been contemplating: Am I missing out by saving myself

until the one I love comes along? Am I depriving myself of great sex, just

because of my stupid moral conscious? I kissed a guy for the first time

without dating the other day, and look where that got me.. nowhere. I just

feel like wow, I am a really great catch, and it's not like I want to get

married and have children, I just want to see a movie, walk in the park and

make out under the stars, it's so 7th grade but that's okay. I just don't

know why I have such a hard time getting guys to ask me out. They are

attracted to me, but then nothing happens. They just look and walk away. And

at parties, once they hear I'm leaving they run away.. And at school, all

the guys are slutty because of the 60 female 40 male ratio. Any advice? I'm

too young to join okcupid and deep down I want someone to be smitten with me

from across the room, not a virtual playground.

The thing is it's a Saturday night and I am alone, eating ramen noodles, and

wearing my new jeans to sleep in hopes to break them in.. I guess I could

have gone out .. but my best friend has a boy friend and we are on two

different playing fields now.. She never wants to do the single stuff

anymore.. UGH will I be lonely on Saturday night forever? And, why can't I

stop eating. I gained like 13 lbs this year from stress and the pill to

clear my acne, my nada, being stalked at college. I have so many unresolved

issues, I guess I can answer my own questions: I can't have a boy friend

right now because I need to learn how to love myself and resolve my issues

before I can let someone in.

These walls have to go though. I want to experiment flirting more with the

customers.. Being a little more outgoing and confident.. let's see how it

goes. God, I miss being wanted.