Re: re: excited but scared

[Guest guest]

One thing that helped me is " taking a break " in the middle of a meal.  Giving myself time to see if I am full knowing that I can choose to return to the meal if I am not full and satisfied.  That is very helpful when I am after a dessert or a second helping of something in the meal.  And yes I think that satisfaction is very important too.  Trying a variety of foods too, ones that I'm not used to or haven't had in a while(maybe because they were on a " forbidden " list OR I just got tired of eating them over and over, like salad).  Now that salad is not on my " diet " list of should haves or must have, I find I really like it again.  And I'm trying new salad combinations.  One of my favorites is baby spinach, strawberries, and almonds with a raspberry vinegrette.  I am so grateful for all of you who write in. I get a lot of good ideas and get to write about mine.  Sometimes I need to remind myself of things I found that work and the progress I am making. I went to my grandson's graduation from preschool today and really enjoyed the snacks and cake.   No guilt.  Felt good and we all had fun. What a hoot! Only 8 five year olds in the class. And they tossed their hats at the end. Really cute. But my point was I enjoyed the food with no guilt, NO GUILT! YEA!

 

Hi All,

Wow, my post about " excited but scared, " where I mentioned wanting the support of knowing how others learned to want to choose to feel lighter and free instead of choosing to keep eating when I'm no longer hungry, seemed to touch off a lot of thoughts and feelings for many people. I went away for a number of days right after posting, so didn't see it all til just now.

First, let me thank everyone for the honest and open sharing. Every share had some learning in it for me and as I see it, it's all about learning, both about IE and about learning how to find ways to respect both our own and others' needs, which can certainly be a challenge.

Fwiw, I guess I use the word " light " differently than some others. For instance, when I have a hard decision to make, having nothing to do with food, I often think of the alternative solutions in my mind and ask myself " which feels lighter? " I find that helpful. It's a long story as to why...but it works for me.

I don't think I'm obsessed about weight loss. I do know that I love hiking (one example among several) and I find it easier and more fun to do when not carrying too much excess weight, just as I prefer to do it not carrying a heavy backpack because I don't find that enjoyable. So although I'm certainly working on learning to be conscious of how my food choices feel in the present moment and how, from experience, I know they'll feel in an hour or two, I don't find it inconsistent with the IE books I've read, to hope also to learn to make choices in line with valuing wanting to be at a healthy weight to do things like hike. I lived many years feeling very out of touch with my body, and for me it feels like a good goal to want to really feel " in my body. " I of course can do that at the weight I am right now, too, and am working on that as well - but certain activities, like my hiking example, support me in that even further.

That doesn't feel like a diet to me, but it does feel about wanting to be truly alive and enjoying my life to the fullest - I guess that's what I meant by " free. " So when instead I find myself unable to stop eating certain foods even tho' I'm full, that's something I'd like to change, and was hoping for some tips from others on that. Some of you gave them, either to me or others, and I appreciate that -reminding this newbie to focus on savoring the food and checking in with myself on satisfaction and enjoyment.

Anyway, I could go on and on, as this is all very much on my mind right now...just thanks again to all, and I might be emailing a couple of you if you don't mind!

Best,

[Guest guest]

I still find myself mindlessly eatting. I always say that I am going to take a break in the meal then before I know it I am done eatting and didn't take my break. I have started making sure to sit at the kitchen table while I eat and that is helping alot. We have all just sat in the living room, in front of the TV while we eat. Didn't realize how I was like a eatting zombie when the TV is on...LOL.

Be blessed,

DawnC

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, March 27, 2011 10:14:21 PMSubject: Re: re: excited but scared

One thing that helped me is "taking a break" in the middle of a meal. Giving myself time to see if I am full knowing that I can choose to return to the meal if I am not full and satisfied. That is very helpful when I am after a dessert or a second helping of something in the meal. And yes I think that satisfaction is very important too. Trying a variety of foods too, ones that I'm not used to or haven't had in a while(maybe because they were on a "forbidden" list OR I just got tired of eating them over and over, like salad). Now that salad is not on my "diet" list of should haves or must have, I find I really like it again. And I'm trying new salad combinations. One of my favorites is baby spinach, strawberries, and almonds with a raspberry vinegrette. I am so grateful for all of you who write in. I get a lot of good ideas and get to write about mine. Sometimes I need to remind myself of things I

found that work and the progress I am making. I went to my grandson's graduation from preschool today and really enjoyed the snacks and cake. No guilt. Felt good and we all had fun. What a hoot! Only 8 five year olds in the class. And they tossed their hats at the end. Really cute. But my point was I enjoyed the food with no guilt, NO GUILT! YEA!

Hi All,Wow, my post about "excited but scared," where I mentioned wanting the support of knowing how others learned to want to choose to feel lighter and free instead of choosing to keep eating when I'm no longer hungry, seemed to touch off a lot of thoughts and feelings for many people. I went away for a number of days right after posting, so didn't see it all til just now. First, let me thank everyone for the honest and open sharing. Every share had some learning in it for me and as I see it, it's all about learning, both about IE and about learning how to find ways to respect both our own and others' needs, which can certainly be a challenge. Fwiw, I guess I use the word "light" differently than some others. For instance, when I have a hard decision to make, having nothing to do with food, I often think of the alternative solutions in my mind and ask myself "which feels lighter?" I find that helpful. It's a long story as to

why...but it works for me.I don't think I'm obsessed about weight loss. I do know that I love hiking (one example among several) and I find it easier and more fun to do when not carrying too much excess weight, just as I prefer to do it not carrying a heavy backpack because I don't find that enjoyable. So although I'm certainly working on learning to be conscious of how my food choices feel in the present moment and how, from experience, I know they'll feel in an hour or two, I don't find it inconsistent with the IE books I've read, to hope also to learn to make choices in line with valuing wanting to be at a healthy weight to do things like hike. I lived many years feeling very out of touch with my body, and for me it feels like a good goal to want to really feel "in my body." I of course can do that at the weight I am right now, too, and am working on that as well - but certain activities, like my hiking example, support me in that even

further.That doesn't feel like a diet to me, but it does feel about wanting to be truly alive and enjoying my life to the fullest - I guess that's what I meant by "free." So when instead I find myself unable to stop eating certain foods even tho' I'm full, that's something I'd like to change, and was hoping for some tips from others on that. Some of you gave them, either to me or others, and I appreciate that -reminding this newbie to focus on savoring the food and checking in with myself on satisfaction and enjoyment. Anyway, I could go on and on, as this is all very much on my mind right now...just thanks again to all, and I might be emailing a couple of you if you don't mind!Best,

[Guest guest]

A timer is a good idea. I am going to try that!

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Mon, March 28, 2011 8:09:52 AMSubject: Re: re: excited but scared

I too sit at the kitchen table and can see the tv from there. If I forget to turn it off, I find myself mindlessly eating too. I have a very hard time with distractions. My mind wanders and is always racing. I have gone back to actually writing in a notebook what I am eating, the color, taste, texture, feel and if I like it or not. I also make a note of how hungry/satisfied I am when I start(see the IE chart on page 127), although I have been using a slightly different scale from a different source. I still have a hard time identifying these levels unless they are at the extreme ends of starving or stuffed. I'm working on the emotional reasons I eat because I am mostly an emotional eater, especially boredom or stress or feeling lonely. I am going to re-read chapter 9 on Feeling your fullness. I need to work on that too. This new way of eating is a lot more work than I'm used to or even any "diet" plan where you just

follow the rigid "rules". Oh yes, I will set the timer to remind me to take a break. I do so need to slow down. I am amazed at how fast I eat. Whoa! Sandy

I still find myself mindlessly eatting. I always say that I am going to take a break in the meal then before I know it I am done eatting and didn't take my break. I have started making sure to sit at the kitchen table while I eat and that is helping alot. We have all just sat in the living room, in front of the TV while we eat. Didn't realize how I was like a eatting zombie when the TV is on...LOL.

Be blessed,

DawnC

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sun, March 27, 2011 10:14:21 PMSubject: Re: re: excited but scared

One thing that helped me is "taking a break" in the middle of a meal. Giving myself time to see if I am full knowing that I can choose to return to the meal if I am not full and satisfied. That is very helpful when I am after a dessert or a second helping of something in the meal. And yes I think that satisfaction is very important too. Trying a variety of foods too, ones that I'm not used to or haven't had in a while(maybe because they were on a "forbidden" list OR I just got tired of eating them over and over, like salad). Now that salad is not on my "diet" list of should haves or must have, I find I really like it again. And I'm trying new salad combinations. One of my favorites is baby spinach, strawberries, and almonds with a raspberry vinegrette. I am so grateful for all of you who write in. I get a lot of good ideas and get to write about mine. Sometimes I need to remind myself of things I

found that work and the progress I am making. I went to my grandson's graduation from preschool today and really enjoyed the snacks and cake. No guilt. Felt good and we all had fun. What a hoot! Only 8 five year olds in the class. And they tossed their hats at the end. Really cute. But my point was I enjoyed the food with no guilt, NO GUILT! YEA!

Hi All,Wow, my post about "excited but scared," where I mentioned wanting the support of knowing how others learned to want to choose to feel lighter and free instead of choosing to keep eating when I'm no longer hungry, seemed to touch off a lot of thoughts and feelings for many people. I went away for a number of days right after posting, so didn't see it all til just now. First, let me thank everyone for the honest and open sharing. Every share had some learning in it for me and as I see it, it's all about learning, both about IE and about learning how to find ways to respect both our own and others' needs, which can certainly be a challenge. Fwiw, I guess I use the word "light" differently than some others. For instance, when I have a hard decision to make, having nothing to do with food, I often think of the alternative solutions in my mind and ask myself "which feels lighter?" I find that helpful. It's a long story as to

why...but it works for me.I don't think I'm obsessed about weight loss. I do know that I love hiking (one example among several) and I find it easier and more fun to do when not carrying too much excess weight, just as I prefer to do it not carrying a heavy backpack because I don't find that enjoyable. So although I'm certainly working on learning to be conscious of how my food choices feel in the present moment and how, from experience, I know they'll feel in an hour or two, I don't find it inconsistent with the IE books I've read, to hope also to learn to make choices in line with valuing wanting to be at a healthy weight to do things like hike. I lived many years feeling very out of touch with my body, and for me it feels like a good goal to want to really feel "in my body." I of course can do that at the weight I am right now, too, and am working on that as well - but certain activities, like my hiking example, support me in that even

further.That doesn't feel like a diet to me, but it does feel about wanting to be truly alive and enjoying my life to the fullest - I guess that's what I meant by "free." So when instead I find myself unable to stop eating certain foods even tho' I'm full, that's something I'd like to change, and was hoping for some tips from others on that. Some of you gave them, either to me or others, and I appreciate that -reminding this newbie to focus on savoring the food and checking in with myself on satisfaction and enjoyment. Anyway, I could go on and on, as this is all very much on my mind right now...just thanks again to all, and I might be emailing a couple of you if you don't mind!Best,

[Guest guest]

I just had a thought I wanted to share on this topic. I sort of had a " lightbulb " moment regarding some other discussion going on here lately of how we can accept some generalities in IE to be true, but there will always be exceptions based on our own personal needs and experiences. For example, there was a discussion about whether or not it was " ok " to read nutrition labels on food, and the general consensus was " No, but... " the but being that if you are doing so based on your needs and with the right intentions than it's all good.

So, my dining room has been in the process of being renovated since November (we are slow house improvers!) and thus we have been without a dining room table since then. So all meals have been taken in the living room for months, or course with the TV on! And even before that we still ate frequent meals in front of the TV. While I SEVERELY miss my table, and it has put a major cramp in our dining--I really miss having conversations at the table with my husband--I've found that the added challenge of trying to have a satisfying dining experience in less than ideal surroundings has taught me a lot about how to eat for satisfaction despite a lack or comfort or undivided attention to food. I've learned that it is definitely harder, but very possible to be aware of your food in front of the TV. It has helped me to learn that much of my inability to feel satisfied with food has to do with my internal environment rather than my external. I often feel an internal desire to eat quickly to satisfy my emotions, and the external barriers of TV/couch/coffee table eating has helped me realize that and really focus on creating a peaceful internal environment for lack of a good external one. 

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I realized that there are exceptions to every rule and pushing outside boundaries can provide great learning experiences. My next " challenge " will be to try to maintain similar internal focus alongside the distraction of eating out with other people! 

[Guest guest]

It's really hard to fight those instincts--sort of like our inner " food police " voices, its sometimes just an instant reaction to flip the box over. Especially if you care about ingredients, either b/c of allergies or aversions, or just b/c you prefer whole foods (this is me, I try to only buy foods with " real food " in the ingredients list, not that this is a strict rule) and all of the other stuff if right here. But I think in time you can get away from this being a habit and it's given me a really gleeful sense of freedom, since I used to check the calories/fat/fiber very religiously (I used to do Weight Watchers). 

You're right in that focusing on the general tips is good advice for everyone. While I've managed to do alright and learn more about myself being without a dining room, it's definitely a better habit to make your environment as supportive and peaceful as possible when eating. I can't describe how much I miss my table! I could write a poem or love song about it But on the bright side when all the work is finished my dining room will provide a very beautiful eating space!

- Casey

 

Yes, it is definitely more our internal cues than anything external. That is what IE is all about. I still ask about externals though because somethings make things easier or harder for us. So, even though there are no rules people should continue to post what helps them...maybe it can help us to. For instance...someone mentioned that they use a time to remember to " take a break " in the middle of meals. I thought that was a good idea and I am going to try it. But it really isn't a rule that you even have to take a break...just an idea. And I am still conflicted if I should look at labels or not. I want to be healthy but I am soooo used to dieting that I am not sure what healthy is even supposed to look like...UGH! But, I am learning....slowly.

 

Be blessed,

DawnC 

 

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Mon, March 28, 2011 1:16:56 PMSubject: Re: re: excited but scared

 

this brings up an important point... one of the crucial elements of IE is that there really aren't any rules. because rules come from external sources... and the whole point of INTUITIVE eating is that the guidance comes from within.

so yes, it's easier to eat intuitively without the TV on, for sure! but that doesn't mean you aren't " allowed " to eat in front of the tv. each one of us has to decide for herself. 

likewise, i don't find reading " nutrition " labels (in quotes because the labels so rarely tell me what i want to know) to help me, for the most part. but it might be helpful to glance at them from time to find, to see if there are ingredients in a given food that you might not guess is there. 

so remember, there are no rules!

and thanks for sharing, casey!

best.

abby

 

I just had a thought I wanted to share on this topic. I sort of had a " lightbulb " moment regarding some other discussion going on here lately of how we can accept some generalities in IE to be true, but there will always be exceptions based on our own personal needs and experiences. For example, there was a discussion about whether or not it was " ok " to read nutrition labels on food, and the general consensus was " No, but... " the but being that if you are doing so based on your needs and with the right intentions than it's all good.

So, my dining room has been in the process of being renovated since November (we are slow house improvers!) and thus we have been without a dining room table since then. So all meals have been taken in the living room for months, or course with the TV on! And even before that we still ate frequent meals in front of the TV. While I SEVERELY miss my table, and it has put a major cramp in our dining--I really miss having conversations at the table with my husband--I've found that the added challenge of trying to have a satisfying dining experience in less than ideal surroundings has taught me a lot about how to eat for satisfaction despite a lack or comfort or undivided attention to food. I've learned that it is definitely harder, but very possible to be aware of your food in front of the TV. It has helped me to learn that much of my inability to feel satisfied with food has to do with my internal environment rather than my external. I often

feel an internal desire to eat quickly to satisfy my emotions, and the external barriers of TV/couch/coffee table eating has helped me realize that and really focus on creating a peaceful internal environment for lack of a good external one. 

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I realized that there are exceptions to every rule and pushing outside boundaries can provide great learning experiences. My next " challenge " will be to try to maintain similar internal focus alongside the distraction of eating out with other people!