Re: New Here....

[Guest guest]

Hi Diane,

I looked into OA and decided not to pursue it because it just didn't

feel right to give up all control or power, whatever you want to call

it.  I may be somewhat confused on the 12 steps concept, but I've spent

so many years feeling out of control and powerless that I'm just not

ready to go that way again.

I spent the past year tracking all my food intake on Fitday (which

actually isn't a bad program for someone who wants to track their

nutritional intake, but not so good for compulsive eaters, I've since

realized).  I lost a lot of weight and gained it all back.  I've

realized that tracking everything was actually both incredibly

stressful (remembering to do it, finding the time to do it) and

self-defeating (requiring me to focus on food constantly--thinking

about what I'd eaten and what I was going to eat).  I'm finding much

more peace in paying less attention to worrying about *what* I'm eating

and focusing more on the food itself and how it feels to be eating

it--in other words, enjoying what I'm eating.

It's very hard to let go of planning...very, very hard.  I keep wanting

to read food labels, and I have a hard time trusting myself not to go

overboard on portions even though after all this time I'm very portion

conscious.  I think it's good that you know you're not ready to let go

of your food plan yet, although I think if you try it you'll find it to

be very freeing.

Jeannie

Diane Melanson wrote:

 

Hi Jen...

 

Am proud of you for your efforts...  We are, where we are comes to

mind.   Im new here, and have not yet introduced myself. 

 

Im Diane, and Im coming from a 12 Step OA background.  I have had

problems with food my whole life, and have been 200 lbs, 110 lbs, 150

lbs, and back to 130 lbs.   I have not been heavy for a number of

years, and my problems are more oriented with obsession and 'slips'

than anything else.

 

I have realized in tracking my food all through the day, that I had

the "ability" to moderate my behavior, which is in conflict with what

is enforced within 12 step groups.  I guess I am not so Powerless after

all...  

 

I am not ready to let go of my food plan, nor the ideals of what a

positive day with food / meals consists of.  I spent too many days

starving myself to risk going back to that...  I learned if I stayed

"busy enough", food and meals became pretty insigificant..  But

then I had a different problem, and that wasn't good either.

 

Anyway, Im enjoying listening for now, and will start the recommended

reading...  Grateful for your shares everyone...  I certainly qualify

for being here...

 

Diane

 

 

 

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

From: jentodd510

Date: Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:58:25 +0000

Subject: difficult first steps

 

hi everyone,

well i have started the IE book and am really learning a lot and trying

to take it all in.

my first attempts have not worked out so well!

so i hope for so wisdom from those who've been there and done that.

i'm finding it much harder than i thought to give up calorie counting

and weighing myself...i think i use those activities to soothe anxiety

and help feel in control. but they are the tools of the "diet

mentality" i've just learned about and they need to go. why is this so

hard?

i realized observing myself that i am using decaf coffee, which i guess

has small amounts of caffeine, to fill up on during the day. i did read

in IE that this is quite common.

i'm eating breakfast and lunch, but small amounts. and drinking quite a

lot of decaf coffee all thru the day and evening. i get hungry but feel

safest drinking decaf..,i'm afraid i'll eat all day too much!

so that's where i'm at in my first few days.

any feedback is welcome.

thanks for listening!

jen