Flaws Magnified

[Guest guest]

With years and tons of work and therapy and prayer and recovery groups, I think

I've come a long way in loving and accepting myself. I no longer believe I'm

complete trash, contrary to my brainwashing/upbringing. In fact, I actually

know (from a deep, foundational place) that I'm good. A decent human, worth the

oxygen I breathe and some more.

Along with that, I've come a long way on the performance trap. I have a lot

more grace and love for myself, and have accepted my value isn't equal to what I

can accomplish.

So . . . here's a holdover that came to me yesterday. I am flawed. (Gasp! I

know!) It seems like I still look at my own flaws and they are distorted. One

normal, run-of-the-mill flaw still seems big and wide and dense and huge. No

matter how small or normal or inconsequential, when I look at any small flaw of

mine, it still seems to be a REALLY BIG DEAL!

Of course, that makes sense. If any flaw showed growing up, it was a REALLY BIG

DEAL--worth getting ostracized and disowned over.

I just want to have more of a sense of . . . balance on these. I want my flaws

to be the size they should be. Not some circus-mirror distortion of what they

are. I wonder what healthy people who grew up in a sane household do with their

flaws. How do they see them? How do they manage life with them?

Does that make sense? Does anyone have any thoughts?

Blessings,

Karla