Guest guest Posted September 15, 2010 Report Share Posted September 15, 2010 My therapist is really wanting me to discover who I am without my mom's voice in my head telling me what a fat, selfish, uncaring, foolish, ugly slob I am. I have such a low self esteem because of what I have always been told about myself. For instance, what weight would I be happy at? (without my mom's voice telling me I need to be her anorexic size 0) It is difficult for me to tell?? I have never formed my own opinions on things like weight because it was pounded into me since I was a tiny girl that the most important thing was to be thin... Now, being slightly overweight causes great depression for me... But, realitically, I have had four boys... Of course I am going to have a stomach with extra skin that wont go away... My mom always laughs at my breasts... (I breast fed all my sons for 1 year each) and my breasts are a little saggy now... She makes fun and says that if I dont get implants I will need to start buying panty hose to use for bras... How does one build a self-esteem at the age of 31 without her NADA's voice constantly in her head when its been there since she was born?... Personally, I do not agree with all the plastic surgery my NADA goes through... I want to learn to be happy with what God gave me... I want to be happy with the saggy breasts that allowed me to breast feed my sons... Do any of you find yourselves trying to figure out who you would like to be or who you are (and being happy) when that is against everything youve ever been taught about yourself? I dont know about you but as a young child I thought my NADA knew it all... Dont all small children look to their parents for the answers? So how do you learn as an adult to throw all that rubbish in the can and re-create an identity for yourself? Has anyone found something that worked well in getting Nada's thoughts of you out of your head and creating a self-identity based on what makes you happy? And what does make me happy? I have always lived for HER happiness... NOT MINE! What does make me happy???? Good question...!!! I would love any thoughts! jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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