Thanks...and letting go questions

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Thanks for all the supportive emails in reply to my post the other

day,(re:does my dad have BP)it's good to know there are people out there.

Also wondering, does everyone experience the GRIEF of realizing that one has no

chice but to go NC? When you've tried everything to make things get better in

the relationship and then you realize after how many years that nothing has

really changed and you have to walk away after all.

In one way it feels a huge relief to realize that I will be able to live my own

life and let go all that fear and and mental fog, but actually stepping back and

looking at my life objectively for once makes me realize that I've missed so

much over the years from trying to cope. Myself, family members and general

feelings of hope and freedom.

Also because one of my fada's biggest problems is suicide threats it is pretty

scary to let that go and realize that I may never have the chance to communicate

with him again. One of the reasons I tried so long is that I think I do love him

one one level or did once. But one can't hold on to someone like that because in

the end they just drag you down.

It also feels pretty strange to walk away from all that, I don't know what life

is like without it!