Re: Non-BPD newbie. Hello there!

[Guest guest]

We are ALL adult children of BPD parents.

Advice? Get the hell out, while you can.

They will suck the will and the ability out of you.

Run.

Join the Army.

Live in the City Mission.

Work at Mcs.

Find a roommate.

Do anything, but get the hell OUT!

Doug

>

> Hi,

>

> My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD

craziness. I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others

through tough times as well as get some advice for myself.

>

> Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed,

totally broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My

financial situation directly a result of my Dad's demonization and

manipulation.

>

> So,

> WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

>

>

> Thankyou for your time,

>

> daniel_heathmoore@...

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, -

You don't say how old you are... I was manipulated into moving back with my BPD

mother when I was 29-- I am now 43, and I just moved out from her control.

I believed her when she said " she needed me to take care of her. "

I let her take me into financial ruin-- to the tune of two bankruptcies.

The end result-- after moving out from her three months ago, I realized I do

have money. I don't need her, and I shouldn't be paying her bills. I don't have

to put up with the abuse she puts out, and listen to her twisted emotional

manipulations...

The hardest part of leaving was making the decision to leave. I was able to stay

with a friend for a couple of weeks, while I figured out what to do next.

I like the list of places you could go, from Doug. Excellent stuff. I did find

out, I could have also received help from my local domestic violence shelter. I

just know, no matter where you are living, there has to be some organization

somewhere who can help you.

>

> Hi,

>

> My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD craziness.

I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others through tough times as

well as get some advice for myself.

>

> Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed, totally broke

and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My financial situation directly

a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

>

> So,

> WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

>

>

> Thankyou for your time,

>

> daniel_heathmoore@...

>

[Guest guest]

Doug, those are some good ideas.

Now that I am out, I realized there are other places, too- which can/could have

helped.

The postive thing for me, which I sure wish was in the same position- I

was the one paying all the bills. All I had to do was STOP paying her bills, and

pay the ones for me to live elsewhere.

I'm sure there are plenty of options for - I always start with religious

groups. I know, I know- the " religious " part can be difficult for some folks-

but, one thing is for certain in most locales, if a religious group can't help

you, they certainly know of some social group/entitity who can.

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD

> craziness. I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others

> through tough times as well as get some advice for myself.

> >

> > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed,

> totally broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My

> financial situation directly a result of my Dad's demonization and

> manipulation.

> >

> > So,

> > WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

> >

> >

> > Thankyou for your time,

> >

> > daniel_heathmoore@

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Whoa! What a response. Golly gee, umm, I'm 32yrs old and moved in at 30. He's

pretty much totaled my life. I've paid for his mortgage closing costs,

furniture, home repairs and housewares so he could start a new life after

bankruptcy and marry his girlfriend. Dude that was the worst possible decision

in the history of all decisions. That was just the beginning, then he got

psychotically pissed at me and kablewy went my life. Top 10.

1. guaranteed college funding letter thrown out.

2. colluded with business partner to destroy my startup company.

3. colluded with my Mom to prosecute me for domestic violence.

4. arrested and prosecuted for disorderly in his damn house while living there.

5. threw out all of my clothes and furniture.

6. refuses to pay me $6,000 bucks I gave him.

7. trashed a 2grand leather couch I bought him.

8. threatens to kill me and bury the body 10 times daily at least.

The last time he played his games I set boundaries, he crossed them and boy did

I let him know it was not o.k. I'm glad I stood up to him but it was extremely

difficult, I was arrested.

I've been unemployed for 5 years and it has been the best decision I ever made

albeit the difficulties with my Mom and Dad. I was working full time but was

laid off and I haven't looked back. Since then I've lived at home but I

developed 2 technologies that are just awesome and pretty exciting.

I've looked at a domestic violence shelter but since I was convicted of that

they can't help. Anyways those shelters are just for women and children and all

the homeless shelters for single men are in downtown Detroit That's far away

from where I live and I have no car and it's not safe to take the bus down

there.

I've looked at working in fast food and Burger King was going to hire me as a

manager but I didn't pass the background search 'cuz of my 'ol pappy. So, I

decided to hang around and pretty much learn total self control. It's like

hell's training camp. Now I know what my limits are. I am the zen. Can you say

" OM " .

I know whatcha mean by getting the life sucked out of you. I just kinda exist

now, I haven't left the house in 3 months. (Imagine Will Ferrell saying " It

bloooowwwwwssss " )

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD craziness.

I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others through tough times as

well as get some advice for myself.

> >

> > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed, totally

broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My financial situation

directly a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

> >

> > So,

> > WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

> >

> >

> > Thankyou for your time,

> >

> > daniel_heathmoore@

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Goodness!

Yep, everything you have detailed goes back to my earlier comment-- if I was a

prisoner of war, my mother would be up on trial for war crimes right now for

some of the things she did to me!!!

Your dad would be there, too.

I wish there was a simple answer for you- and it never occured to me the dv

shelters won't help men...there just has to be something, someone, somewhere who

can help you.

In the meantime, I lived your OM. I have OM tattooed on my back. For me, the OM

kept me from doing something drastic- like completely running away from my job,

life, friends, family.

It sounds like you're in the middle of the " Golden Handcuffs. " Too bad to stay,

too good to leave... "

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD

craziness. I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others through

tough times as well as get some advice for myself.

> > >

> > > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed, totally

broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My financial situation

directly a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

> > >

> > > So,

> > > WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

> > >

> > >

> > > Thankyou for your time,

> > >

> > > daniel_heathmoore@

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hey, thanks guys for the timely response. What a huge relief it is to know

someone out there knows what the hell is going on.

I'd love to know your stories please tell me. Please be gentle...I'm new.

Hey sunnys_blues, how old is your Mother, what happened to her and how do you

make money. I hope you didn't make a lampshade out of Mother(unless it was a

really nice lampshade with a fringe then it'd be o.k.)

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD craziness.

I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others through tough times as

well as get some advice for myself.

> >

> > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed, totally

broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My financial situation

directly a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

> >

> > So,

> > WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

> >

> >

> > Thankyou for your time,

> >

> > daniel_heathmoore@

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dude, you hit the head on the crazy nail. Yea, I'm gonna help myself. I'm

building a device that can predict the stock market. It's weird and cool at the

same time. the whole I gotta help myself thing. I'm just trying to make some

money to go back to school.

Are you serious you've got an OM tattoo. AWESOME...universe is weird sometimes.

> > > >

> > > > Hi,

> > > >

> > > > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD

craziness. I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others through

tough times as well as get some advice for myself.

> > > >

> > > > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed, totally

broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My financial situation

directly a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

> > > >

> > > > So,

> > > > WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Thankyou for your time,

> > > >

> > > > daniel_heathmoore@

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

If you're in Michigan, there are also some shelters for men in the Pontiac area,

as well.

>

> Subject: Re: Non-BPD newbie. Hello there!

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Thursday, September 30, 2010, 5:32 AM

>

>

> Whoa! What a response. Golly gee, umm, I'm 32yrs old and

> moved in at 30.  He's pretty much totaled my

> life.  I've paid for his mortgage closing costs,

> furniture, home repairs and housewares so he could start a

> new life after bankruptcy and marry his girlfriend. 

> Dude that was the worst possible decision in the history of

> all decisions.  That was just the beginning, then he

> got psychotically pissed at me and kablewy went my

> life.  Top 10.

>

> 1. guaranteed college funding letter thrown out.

> 2. colluded with business partner to destroy my startup

> company.

> 3. colluded with my Mom to prosecute me for domestic

> violence.

> 4. arrested and prosecuted for disorderly in his damn house

> while living there.

> 5. threw out all of my clothes and furniture.

> 6. refuses to pay me $6,000 bucks I gave him.

> 7. trashed a 2grand leather couch I bought him.

> 8. threatens to kill me and bury the body 10 times daily at

> least.

>

> The last time he played his games I set boundaries, he

> crossed them and boy did I let him know it was not

> o.k.  I'm glad I stood up to him but it was extremely

> difficult, I was arrested.

>

> I've been unemployed for 5 years and it has been the best

> decision I ever made albeit the difficulties with my Mom and

> Dad.  I was working full time but was laid off and I

> haven't looked back.  Since then I've lived at home but

> I developed 2 technologies that are just awesome and pretty

> exciting. 

>

> I've looked at a domestic violence shelter but since I was

> convicted of that they can't help.  Anyways those

> shelters are just for women and children and all the

> homeless shelters for single men are in downtown Detroit

> That's far away from where I live and I have no car and it's

> not safe to take the bus down there. 

>

> I've looked at working in fast food and Burger King was

> going to hire me as a manager but I didn't pass the

> background search 'cuz of my 'ol pappy.  So, I decided

> to hang around and pretty much learn total self

> control.  It's like hell's training camp.  Now I

> know what my limits are.  I am the zen. Can you say

> " OM " .

>

> I know whatcha mean by getting the life sucked out of

> you.  I just kinda exist now, I haven't left the house

> in 3 months.  (Imagine Will Ferrell saying " It

> bloooowwwwwssss " )

>

>

>

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering

> though parental BPD craziness.  I'm so glad there are

> others, and hope I can help others through tough times as

> well as get some advice for myself. 

> > >

> > > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD

> parent?  I'm unemployed, totally broke and living with

> and a BPD control freak Father.  My financial situation

> directly a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

>

> > >

> > > So,

> > > WTOChildren1

> what kind of advice do ya got?

> > >

> > >

> > > Thankyou for your time,

> > >

> > > daniel_heathmoore@

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

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> find)

[Guest guest]

The OM tat-- people love to ask me:

Is that a " 30 " on your back????

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi,

> > > > >

> > > > > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD

craziness. I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others through

tough times as well as get some advice for myself.

> > > > >

> > > > > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed,

totally broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My financial

situation directly a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

> > > > >

> > > > > So,

> > > > > WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > Thankyou for your time,

> > > > >

> > > > > daniel_heathmoore@

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My mother is 71. She had some trauma when she was a teenager, but it's stuff

she never gives you full details on. It's her " fall back " when she needs to be a

victim. She's doing perfectly fine right now, because she has the neighbors

convinced her daughter is evil. They are willing to help the poor, frail,

elderly woman...

I haven't made a lampshade out of her- yet. The thought has crossed my mind- and

there is a super-ugly lamp I HATE that I would put said lampshade on!!

I work in customer service. Not a bad job, easy in fact. I've left better-paying

jobs, but they required a lot of " flex time. " In other words- my free time was

also work time. The main thing I like about my job now- when my day is over,

it's over. Nothing to take home, no worry about getting phone calls from work,

etc. Work stays at work.

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > My name is and I'm a non-BPD suffering though parental BPD

craziness. I'm so glad there are others, and hope I can help others through

tough times as well as get some advice for myself.

> > >

> > > Is anyone else an adult child of a BPD parent? I'm unemployed, totally

broke and living with and a BPD control freak Father. My financial situation

directly a result of my Dad's demonization and manipulation.

> > >

> > > So,

> > > WTOChildren1 what kind of advice do ya got?

> > >

> > >

> > > Thankyou for your time,

> > >

> > > daniel_heathmoore@

> > >

> >

>