Re: Re: Finally called CPS

[Guest guest]

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words! I was afraid about CPS, because

we've all heard horror stories, but I'm glad my conscience is clear now. I

knew I had to call them, knew for quite a while, but it took a lot of

anxious soul-searching to be ready to call.

I really do hope it helps my siblings! Even if CPS never does anything, I

hope that the knowledge does help my siblings when they grow up.

Meanwhile, it's helping me feel better that I'm babysitting for a family of

7 1/2 kids. (10 and under) Even though nothing can be a substitution for my

siblings, it helps in a strange way.

Thanks again everyone!

Holly

On Sat, Aug 14, 2010 at 2:36 AM, josephinebl67 wrote:

>

>

> I am glad your wedding went well and you had a supportive group of people

> around you, that is what matters. I am glad you had a good experience

> calling CPS, I hope they will keep the family under scrutiny. When I called

> to talk to them about my bpd SIL they just basically sided with her, I felt,

> and said that in my state her not cleaning is doesn't qualify for neglect. I

> didn't mention that she has characteristics of bpd though, maybe if I call

> them again at some point I will. When I called I ended up very discouraged

> and bummed out so I am glad someone somewhere is getting some help from

> them.

>

>

>

> >

> > It's taken me a long time to feel ready to take this step, but I finally

> called CPS for my 4 littlest siblings. I first emailed the Boys Town hotline

> for youth in troubled situations, and they highly encouraged me to call CPS.

>

> >

> > It was a long call, and between my hard of hearing and the connection

> keeping cutting out, kind of stressful, too. But the lady on the other end

> was very patient, and I thanked her for that.

> >

> > It's hard to prove abuse when it's only emotional abuse, when the house

> is clean, the kids are properly clothed and fed, and since my dad has a PhD

> in education, and puts on a pretty good show, I'm hoping they can see

> through that. Dad always equates " stuff " with love, too. My sisters go see

> Hannah Montana and Jo Bros a lot with Dad. But that doesn't take away from

> the eggshells and fear.

> >

> > A family friend who saw them recently said they still looked afraid of my

> dad. I don't know, perhaps I was hopeful that things were getting better for

> them.

> >

> > I don't know when or whether they will ever investigate, but I just hope

> that it won't make it worse or more stressful for my siblings.

> >

> > I also told her about borderline personality disorder. Though my dad has

> never been formally diagnosed, I told her that his behavior matches the DSM

> description very well, and she said that's good to know. I also told her

> that I write as a therapeutic act, and can send them some of my writings

> about my dad. She said that was really good I write, and they will email me

> at some point so I can email them the documents.

> >

> > A lot had changed recently, including Brother #1 getting married and

> moving out. (He's younger than me). The family friend says that he was more

> like himself, but he still acts like my dad. That is, he still sides with

> him. Maybe eventually he and I will reconcile--we were best friends for

> ages, before he disowned me as a sister.

> >

> > My four littlest siblings Sis #1 (12), Bro #2 (11), Sis #2 (9) and Bro #3

> (8), are still at home. At least Bro #1 isn't bullying them around anymore.

> >

> > The family friend said that Sis #1 still thinks of me. While getting her

> hair done before my brother's wedding, she accidentally told the hairstylist

> that I was getting married soon, too. She was afraid that Mom would get mad

> at her, but thankfully Mom didn't say anything. If Dad was there, he would

> berate her.

> >

> > My heart still aches, and I hope that I can be in contact with them soon.

>

> >

> > Sorry I'm kinda in and out with the group emails--sometimes I don't think

> I can handle it, so I just ignore the emails for a while. Usually every time

> I do, I get a nightmare about my dad. But thought everyone may like an

> update.

> >

> > Holly

> >

> > BTW, my wedding went quite well. My mom, dad, and siblings weren't

> invited (though the family friend says she wishes she could have picked the

> little ones up and brought them to my wedding, but was afraid of upsetting

> my dad.) The day was much nicer because of the lack of my dad and mom, quite

> frankly. I had a loving group of other family and friends there, and it was

> a really nice day!

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I know the fear and the horror stories. Just remember whatever happens you

did your part. What CPS does with the information is out of your control.

[Guest guest]

I should also mention that the knowledge that someone cares will be very

good for the siblings. When I was 13 I tried to run away. A way for me to

call for help. The police picked me up, called my mother, and believed

everything she said that I was bad ect. The police officer never asked my

why or investigated. He instead threatened me that if I ever put a toe out

of line I would be locked up in juvie. That was the event that sealed my

fate to just take the abuse and never speak of it. I know in my heart that

if that officer had had the courage you did and called CPS or asked me why

or investigated I would have felt validated and cared for. Even if nothing

could be done I would have felt someone cared and tried. That knowledge

call make all the difference.