Guest guest Posted February 24, 2010 Report Share Posted February 24, 2010 Hi McKella,I think the beginning part of IE is the hardest. I know I have definitely been where you are now, and I think many others can relate as well. It's really REALLY hard to gain weight, and feel like you don't have any clothes that fit. I am there right now, too. So you are not alone!One thing that helps me is to really try to not do anything else while I eat. IE will tell you not to make a rule of this, however! (IE is all about no rules.) But for me, I am MUCH more tuned in to my hunger and fullness when I am focused on eating. I also find I am satisfied much more easily that way... and I ENJOY eating more that way! when I am not paying attention, I sometimes am not satisfied even when I am full, because I want more of the experience of eating. Really focusing and ENJOYING the eating -- tastes, textures, etc -- has helped me a lot. Eating with my eyes closed is sometimes helpful. However, I suspect that maybe you don't have an eating issue... but you have an issue of not having the tools you need to deal with other things going on in your life? Is there something that you are trying to escape from? Stress, fatigue, anger, sadness... all of these are uncomfortable emotions that we may try to avoid by hiding within the experience of eating. Maybe it would be helpful to focus on these uncomfortable feelings? I think the eating may get easier when you are focused on taking care of yourself in other aspects.Also, have you ever looked at When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies? they have some really fantastic suggestions (I didn't like the first chapter -- too political when I wanted concrete suggestions -- so if you don't like it either, skip to the next chapter). Good luck, and keep posting! we are here to help.best,abby I have only been at it for a couple months. I'm avoiding the scale but I know I have gained weight. i think the weight gain comes when you treat intuitive eating like another diet. Also, as soon as you stop trying to lose weight, i think that is when weight loss occurs. I just read the Diet Survivor's Handbook. After reading it once through, i'm going to take it one lesson at a time. I'm not a pro at this, but i definitely can relate to being frustrated. > > I need to vent a little bit. I discovered IE about a year and a half ago and I've been trying to practice it, but I still think about food all the time, I still want to eat when I'm not hungry and when I am hungry, it's much easier to listen to signals to eat what I want and stop when I'm done, but I rarely get to this point because I munch when I'm not really hungry. > I overeat regularly, not full-on binges, but I munch and munch and I feel like I can't stop, and I hate it. I just want food to be gone from my mind except when I'm hungry, but I'm still always thinking about nutrition, weight loss, etc. I give myself permission to eat what I want, but often when I start, I can't stop. Then the next morning, I'm not hungry but I still want breakfast, then I eat it and keep eating regular meals and snacks sometimes, but I'm usually not hungry when I do. > Last week I weighed for the first time since starting IE, and I'm ten pounds heavier than when I started. My new pants are tight, and I can't afford to buy more. I felt fine after I weighed, and for three days after, I didn't eat when I wasn't hungry, I ate what I want when I was hungry and stopped as soon as the hunger went away. I didn't feel deprived and I felt like " yes, I finally have it! " but then this weekend I continued with my usual pattern and I can't get back in that mindset. > I also feel bad because it seems like everyone around me is losing weight and I'm gaining while struggling to take care of my food issues. My husband, parents, and coworker are losing weight and it seems so easy. I know my worth as a person isn't tied into my weight, but I feel inadequate. I'm just so frustrated, because a year and a half into this, I still can't get a handle on it. I'm only 21, and I started my first diet when I was 13, and my weight has gone up and down ever since. I haven't been on the diet rollercoaster nearly as long as a lot of other people on this forum, but I still can't get a grip. I'd love some help, guidance, reassurance, anything. I just feel really low right now, and I don't want to give up, but sometimes it's hard not to. Help please. > > McKella > -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2010 Report Share Posted February 24, 2010 Hi McKella, Sometimes just talking it out helps--whether that's here or with another group or whatever. Does your school have a health center? Many universities and colleges have reproductive health/birth control clinics as part of their student health centers, so you might check that out. You could also see if there's a Planned Parenthood or similar in your area. I'm not sure what Implanon is, but if it's hormone-based, that could be some of the problem and that would be worth looking into. I think trying to "be present" with your desire to binge or overeat is a good idea. Another thing you could try is something Gillian told me--when you feel a binge coming on, take a couple of minutes to be present with the feeling, and then make a conscious decision to binge or not. Giving yourself permission takes away the guilt, and I've found that it also reduces the binge. Sohni mckella11 wrote: Thanks Abby, I love When Women Stop Hating their Bodies,and it really helped. I know a lot of my eating stems from emotional issues. I'm in college, I've been married almost two years and it hasn't been easy because my husband and I are complete opposites,so we have a hard time understanding each other. We have very different family backgrounds and we think differently. I'm on anxiety medication and I saw a therapist for a few months last year, and I've always had wicked winter blues. Also, I suspect my birth control (Implanon) is part of it, because I haven't felt like myself since I got it over two years ago, but that's when I moved out, got engaged, changed jobs and majors all within a couple months, but the anxiety never went away. I'd like to get it taken out, but we don't have medical insurance and other methods are either expensive or not as effective, so I'm debating whether keeping the Implanon would be more stressful than an unplanned pregnancy, especially since we have no idea where we'll be living in two months. I didn't feel like therapy helped much, and I'm not in a hurry to go back. I eat when I'm stressed, sad, feeling inadequate, etc. I can usually pinpoint what's bothering me and I know myself really well, I just don't know how else to cope. I journal, do yoga, go for walk, take bubble baths, call my mom, play with my cat, all those things they tell you to do when you get the munchies or feel stressed. I'm working on just sitting with an emotion instead of trying to deal with it at all. The other reason I eat is for fun and excitement. Baking my amazing chocolate chip cookies is the most exciting thing in the world to me. Eating out is exciting. Eating sweets, even when I'm not hungry, is pleasant. Ok, so this is a whole post in itself, but any ideas? Today has been better by the way. McKella > > > > > > I need to vent a little bit. I discovered IE about a year and a half ago > > and I've been trying to practice it, but I still think about food all the > > time, I still want to eat when I'm not hungry and when I am hungry, it's > > much easier to listen to signals to eat what I want and stop when I'm done, > > but I rarely get to this point because I munch when I'm not really hungry. > > > I overeat regularly, not full-on binges, but I munch and munch and I feel > > like I can't stop, and I hate it. I just want food to be gone from my mind > > except when I'm hungry, but I'm still always thinking about nutrition, > > weight loss, etc. I give myself permission to eat what I want, but often > > when I start, I can't stop. Then the next morning, I'm not hungry but I > > still want breakfast, then I eat it and keep eating regular meals and snacks > > sometimes, but I'm usually not hungry when I do. > > > Last week I weighed for the first time since starting IE, and I'm ten > > pounds heavier than when I started. My new pants are tight, and I can't > > afford to buy more. I felt fine after I weighed, and for three days after, I > > didn't eat when I wasn't hungry, I ate what I want when I was hungry and > > stopped as soon as the hunger went away. I didn't feel deprived and I felt > > like "yes, I finally have it!" but then this weekend I continued with my > > usual pattern and I can't get back in that mindset. > > > I also feel bad because it seems like everyone around me is losing weight > > and I'm gaining while struggling to take care of my food issues. My husband, > > parents, and coworker are losing weight and it seems so easy. I know my > > worth as a person isn't tied into my weight, but I feel inadequate. I'm just > > so frustrated, because a year and a half into this, I still can't get a > > handle on it. I'm only 21, and I started my first diet when I was 13, and my > > weight has gone up and down ever since. I haven't been on the diet > > rollercoaster nearly as long as a lot of other people on this forum, but I > > still can't get a grip. I'd love some help, guidance, reassurance, anything. > > I just feel really low right now, and I don't want to give up, but sometimes > > it's hard not to. Help please. > > > > > > McKella > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 A lot of this is experimentation. What works for one of us may or may not work for someone else. I think the best you can do is not expect a quick fix and try different things to come up with what is doable for your situation. Sohni mckella11 wrote: Thanks, I'll talk to the student health center and see if they can help. Implanon is a plastic rod the size of a matchstick that's inserted into your arm. It last three years and releases different doses of hormones every year, so many people have to constantly readjust to it. I got it because I was still under my parent's insurance so I'd get it cheaply and not have to worry about it for another three years. Go figure. I like the idea of presenting myself with the emotion before I do anything about it. My impulse is usually avoidance, whether with food or otherwise, so learning to tolerate and deal with emotions is probably better than just finding a different distraction. Cutting back on sugar is probably a good idea too. I use agave often rather than refined sugar, but even when you're full, sweet foods still taste sweet, so I still want them. I'll continue to experiment with healthier sweeteners, and I'm training my palate to taste other flavors, so I'll want less sweet. I'm already using less in my oatmeal. > > > > > > > > > > I need to vent a little bit. I discovered IE about a year and a > > half ago > > > > and I've been trying to practice it, but I still think about food > > all the > > > > time, I still want to eat when I'm not hungry and when I am > > hungry, it's > > > > much easier to listen to signals to eat what I want and stop when > > I'm done, > > > > but I rarely get to this point because I munch when I'm not really > > hungry. > > > > > I overeat regularly, not full-on binges, but I munch and munch > > and I feel > > > > like I can't stop, and I hate it. I just want food to be gone from > > my mind > > > > except when I'm hungry, but I'm still always thinking about nutrition, > > > > weight loss, etc. I give myself permission to eat what I want, but > > often > > > > when I start, I can't stop. Then the next morning, I'm not hungry > > but I > > > > still want breakfast, then I eat it and keep eating regular meals > > and snacks > > > > sometimes, but I'm usually not hungry when I do. > > > > > Last week I weighed for the first time since starting IE, and > > I'm ten > > > > pounds heavier than when I started. My new pants are tight, and I > > can't > > > > afford to buy more. I felt fine after I weighed, and for three > > days after, I > > > > didn't eat when I wasn't hungry, I ate what I want when I was > > hungry and > > > > stopped as soon as the hunger went away. I didn't feel deprived > > and I felt > > > > like "yes, I finally have it!" but then this weekend I continued > > with my > > > > usual pattern and I can't get back in that mindset. > > > > > I also feel bad because it seems like everyone around me is > > losing weight > > > > and I'm gaining while struggling to take care of my food issues. > > My husband, > > > > parents, and coworker are losing weight and it seems so easy. I > > know my > > > > worth as a person isn't tied into my weight, but I feel > > inadequate. I'm just > > > > so frustrated, because a year and a half into this, I still can't > > get a > > > > handle on it. I'm only 21, and I started my first diet when I was > > 13, and my > > > > weight has gone up and down ever since. I haven't been on the diet > > > > rollercoaster nearly as long as a lot of other people on this > > forum, but I > > > > still can't get a grip. I'd love some help, guidance, reassurance, > > anything. > > > > I just feel really low right now, and I don't want to give up, but > > sometimes > > > > it's hard not to. Help please. > > > > > > > > > > McKella > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > -- > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 A book that I found helpful when dealing with a lot of anxiety was Eckert Tolle's The Power of Now. I sort of hate his writing style, but the ideas behind it worked well for me. I know another member really likes him too. And I think a lot of his ideas really dovetail with IE. It helped me how to sit with emotions, and to deal with them without being overwhelmed by them. Any chance you qualify for Medicaid? In New York State, anyway, Medicaid will pay for other birth control options. A Paraguard IUD might be a good choice for you. Even if you had to pay for it... it's in the neighborhood of $500 and then your birth control is taken care of for 10-12 years! Though you can take it out sooner if you want to. And it doesn't have any hormones in it. A teacher that I work with found a way to get it for free even though she has private insurance, which didn't cover it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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