I'm back-- new name for better security.. Also, I could use some help... :(

[Guest guest]

Hello, everyone! chibvidz is now cvidzz.

I haven't posted since May when I kept Nada from my college graduation using a

mild version of a restraining order. Through the encouragement of

everyone--especially Doug--I was able to enjoy a day of celebration and not

spend the day in fear of my nada crashing my graduation.

I decided to create a new Yahoo! username for posting on this message board only

because Yahoo! has a new feature that decides to show all your e-mail contacts

where you have been posting on Yahoo! I don't know if that applies to private

message boards, but it worried me enough to feel the need to create a new name.

Since graduation I moved to DC with my beau for a fantastic internship and

graduate school. It's been a wonderful experience--finally feeling independent

and totally free of Nada. There has been a major problem that arose from this

though.....

Before I graduated college, I was living with my Dad in an apartment that we

moved into to get away from Nada. I was totally NC with Nada- my sister and

father were LC. My dad lost his job (thanks, economy!), and decided to move back

in with Nada in my childhood home after I moved to DC. I was absolutely

devastated because I thought my dad would never go back to her. Now I don't talk

to him as much because I know he's living with my Nada in that hell-hole of a

house that he apparently " missed. " He spent a lot of time telling me he wasn't

moving back, but once I moved out, he completely moved back to my childhood home

to Nada!! He claims that he misses her, no matter how she treated him or us I

suppose. He also claims that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life

" alone. " I think he feels this way because both my sister and I have graduated

college and have moved out.

I am worried about my dad all the time now that he lives with Nada. I'm scared

that it's only a matter of time before her old ways come back and she starts to

torture him again. I know she'll never forgive him for leaving her in the first

place to protect my sister and I, and I also don't believe she will ever realize

just how much damage she caused.

But I'm also sad that my dad gave in again. I thought he had finally separated

himself from the situation... and decided that it was best to stay away from

her. How can he go back to her when she never took any steps to fix her

problems??? He claims he has set " boundaries " for their relationship. They don't

stay in the same room, don't talk about me (hah), she can't torture him etc.

Nadas don't follow boundaries! They don't understand them.

He's been there for 2 months, claims everything's fine... but I'm still scared

for him.

Selfishly, I'm also worried about when I go back to my hometown for holidays. I

know I'll stay with my beau's family (who have felt more like a family often

than my own, sadly), but I feel like it will be difficult trying to get together

with my dad and sister. There will be no place for us to relax together. No

" home-base. " I can't go to my childhood home because Nada will be there. I'm

scared Nada will freak out if just me, my dad, and my sister tried to have a

nice holiday without her. After all, it's completely weird because my dad and

Nada live together again. They are a " family " and I want nothing to do with her.

How am I supposed to maintain a relationship with my father now that he has

created this bizarre situation?? I don't feel comfortable calling him anymore

because I'm afraid Nada will hear the call--or answer the call. So I have to

text and e-mail my dad or wait for him to call.

What do I do? How should I feel? React? Helllp.