Re: Sugar/Flour Addict and IE (baking the cake & eating it, too)

[Guest guest]

Hi MJ!

I feel like you have this IE thing down pretty well. I have to say I thought of everyone last night when I was cutting up the cake to give my parents half of it. I wanted to goggle down a piece or two, but I had just eaten dinner and KNEW I wasn't hungry. So I refrained and felt much better a few minutes later. And I do the same thing - I eat something over and over and over - first it was peanut butter and toast every morning for weeks! ANd you are right - we have to ask WHY! What are we eating for? I know that caring for my very elderly and needy parents is a big why for me right now. I certainly appreciate your views - I don't know how far you feel you've gotten on this journey but your words are very helpful!

Subject: Re: Sugar/Flour Addict and IE (baking the cake & eating it, too)To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Monday, November 15, 2010, 1:21 PM

hi Jami,I can totally relate to your post. It is so confusing at times. I seem to need to have "something" (first it was peanut butter, banana & whole grain toast, then brie with pretzels) for about a month it seems EVERY DAY!!!!! either until it is gone (the brie) or I am just plain sick of it (the toast). LOL I didn't eat a lot of those things (unlike the cake for those couple of days. I would just take one piece of toast or a handful of pretzels with a few thin slices of cheese as part of my lunch. Lately it has been the one slice of pesto pizza that I seem to want after every gym workout. Today I sort of made up my mind that I didn't really need it today BUT my feet made their way over to the pizza place anyway & boy, did I enjoy that piece. Funny, even though every time I have a piece of that yummy pizza, I want another one but then I tell myself "let's just sit with this piece in the tummy for awhile & if you still want it,

& if we do go and order another one." In the month that I have been eating pizza there I have NEVER ordered that second piece.I definitely think that for me there is something about the numbing of the emotional state that has me getting piece after piece of cake when I am NOT at all hungry. I really need to be the non-judgmental OBSERVER & CURIOSITY seeker when that is happening & dig deeper into the WHY. That's the only way that I will be able to change the behavior is by being conscious of how & why it happens.mj> > >> > > > > > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for those > > > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did > > > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did you > > > feel this way? > > > > > > ~~~> > > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I > > > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like boredom, > > > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my job > > > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I > > > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to

do that, > > > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and yet > > > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was reaching > > > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I > > > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored, > > > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my drug and > > > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with paper? > > > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this > > > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy wrappers. A garbage > > > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I felt > > > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat. It > > > all

becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer this > > > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had > > > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween. Since > > > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others > > > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.> > > > > > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or > > > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try harder! > > > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very > > > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting this for > > > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.> > > > > > Sunny> > >

> > > Sunny> > > > > > Best!> > > > > > Sunny> > > > > > In Beaverton, OR > > > > > > > > > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, > > > imhere4u1232000@ writes:> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

thank you for saying that. It is a good reminder for me that I AM making

progress even though I have just come off the 2 day " cake " eating incident. It

wasn't so much about eating the " cake " it was about what I learned about myself

in spite of eating the " cake " . Initially I thought " oh, it's about missing my

mom, STILL " but then I did the Geneen inquiry because something told me that

there was more behind it than that & amazingly, what came up was that I have to

be in contact with someone that I know does not like me & clearly makes it very

obvious & there is nothing that I can do, I have to be at these brief " meetings "

& I have to read the emails & respond. The day before the cake incident was one

of these times when there was a brief meeting & I am very sensitive to people's

emotions & expressions. Well the look on this person's face was telling me that

she would rather step in dog poo than have to see me & talk to me for one brief

minute. I thought maybe I was imagining that so I asked someone else who was

there & no, it had been pretty obvious to everyone. SOOOOOOOOO, my question is,

how come it took me 1/2 a bundt cake & 2 days until I finally inquired about

what was going on? NOw that I am aware I hope that I will be able to deal with

this in a more effective way in the future than numbing myself with sugar &

flour. I keep reminding myself, " it's a process & it takes time, keep working on

it & it will happen food will eventually become just food. "

Here's to a day full of learning & practice (but not too much, I hope) LOL.

Cheers!!!!

mj

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > What was going on for you when you were reaching into your desk for

those

> > > > hidden candy bars? What were you feeling - bored, anxious,.....? How did

> > > > you feel when you covered over the empty wrappers with paper? Why did

you

> > > > feel this way?

> > > >

> > > > ~~~

> > > > I have actually given a lot of thought into your questions (above). I

> > > > know the experts believe we are eating out of some feelings, like

boredom,

> > > > sadness etc. What was I really feeling? Honestly, I was at work doing my

job

> > > > that I love, when I was suddenly hit with an urge to eat the candy. I

> > > > told myself I didn't really want that...I had promised myself not to do

that,

> > > > my face is already a mess from previous encounters with the candy and

yet

> > > > those overwhelming thoughts of the candy continued. Even as I was

reaching

> > > > into the drawer for them, I kept telling myself not to do it. Even as I

> > > > was pulling off the wrappers and chewing the candy. I wasn't bored,

> > > > stressed, hurt, sad, lonely none of it. I was an addict going for my

drug and

> > > > ruining my life yet another inch. How did I feel when I covered it with

paper?

> > > > I was ashamed of my weakness, yet again, Why did I feel this

> > > > way...because I am a fat person with a garbage can full of candy

wrappers. A garbage

> > > > can that is emptied every day so obviously it happened in one day. I

felt

> > > > like the housekeeper must think there wasn't any wonder why I am so fat.

It

> > > > all becomes self loathing in some respect that I can't seem to conquer

this

> > > > addiction. I can finally admit that it is an addiction though. I had

> > > > given up all white flour and sugars for about 21 days before Halloween.

Since

> > > > then though, it's been a real struggle with some days so bad and others

> > > > just enough off to insure a continuing of the issue.

> > > >

> > > > I've considered addiction therapy but honestly since it's not drug or

> > > > alcohol, it's not considered much. My last doctor kept tell me to try

harder!

> > > > I couldn't believe the ignorance of that advice. I actually eat very

> > > > healthy foods when I'm not overtaken by the sugar. I have been fighting

this for

> > > > 30 years since I was 25. I've never won for more than a few months.

> > > >

> > > > Sunny

> > > >

> > > > Sunny

> > > >

> > > > Best!

> > > >

> > > > Sunny

> > > >

> > > > In Beaverton, OR

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > In a message dated 11/14/2010 9:45:17 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,

> > > > imhere4u1232000@ writes:

> > > >

> > >

> >

>