Back but very disappointed. Stop the insanity, please, friends.

[Guest guest]

I have been ready for a couple of days to start reading and posting

again. However, I just haven't been up to stepping into the situation

taking place on this forum. I haven't read all the posts and don't know

all the details of what kicked things off but I've seen more ugliness in

catching up on posts than I imagined and more anger and feelings hurt.

Anyone who says its not personal hasn't read closely enough.

There are many many many apologies called for. I encourage any of you to

reread your posts and some of the statements or words. It has escalated

with each new post it seems. This isn't patients versus caregivers, its

supposed friends versus friends. I care for all those involved posting

on this subject but I'm angry and disappointed too.

A few comments of my own. First, I refuse to offer an opinion on who

should be allowed on this forum. That isn't my place. To Leanne or

whomever posted the poll. It was a mistake. Some things are best not

turned over to the members. Allowing or not allowing someone here is a

decision the moderators and administrators and board owners should make

on an individual basis. You make it with every new member and you have

the right with any existing members. In the past I've seen you very

liberal in not banning people but just professionally dealing in private

with any who you have problems with.

Now as to members. If your problem is with someone someone says to you

and another individual here then don't air it in public. Talk to them

through email in private and work it out. If you can't work it out, then

email the moderator, but don't expect them to solve it either. If you

don't like someone's posts then don't read them. It's simple. I was told

early by several in sometimes a nice way and sometimes not that my posts

are too long. My response was and is, just skip over them all if you

like.

One comment on the huge issue of caretakers and patients reading each

other's posts. Look, its easy enough to get on any forum in yahoo with a

made up profile or any other way. No forum can control who reads what.

This participation or reading is something of trust between a patient

and caregiver. Its the same with spouses on any forum. If you want a

place of your own just ask your spouse or child or parent or friend not

to intrude on it. You know we say that no doctors or nurses but just

patients. Now I'll bet there are lurkers on all forums who don't

" belong " but they're keeping quiet, learning, and not hurting anything.

See, I don't care. I generally have no problems with anyone here. Are

there those whose posts I like more than others? Of course. Now, I'm not

going to point out any of the posts made that bother me. No one should

assume its their post or not theirs. While it may be some of those that

have obviously been problematic, its others that have slipped through

too. This discussion has not been one held at a decent appropriate

level. Even some of the best posts have slipped in an offensive word or

two if one wanted to read carefully and react.

So, please, everyone, come back to being those who I love and who mean

so much to me. Stop on this subject. Show the love this forum is known

for. To the moderators and administrator, please get rid of this poll,

for the first time I know ban more publishing on this topic, try to talk

off board to some of those hurt by the ugliness and some of those who

have offended others, and go back to deciding by whatever rules or means

you want who is allowed here and isn't.

Now, I will only post and respond on other topics. I have no intention

of going back and reading carefully the posts I've missed in the last

three weeks. I've seen more than I care to in just scanning the digests.

I love the forum and love those here. However, what I've seen makes me

want to cry and has created a very unhealthy environment for all of us.

Don't we have more important things to deal with? I love you all, but I

don't love some of the actions and words.

Bruce Moreland 58 UIP 08/07