Finally got counseling appointment

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I finally have a counseling appointment for later today--it's been several

months since my last counseling, and it's the first time since I moved to

another city. Needless to say, I'm nervous.

I know it will be good for me, and DH has been encouraging me to do it, but I

think my reluctance has to do with reliving it yet again. I've recently started

having a lot of nightmares about my family, and I don't really want to have to

experience it more than I have to.

But, like in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore told Harry that

it's better to tell it all now, because it'll help him to heal better and move

forward faster. (after Harry came back from seeing Voldemort). I haven't read

the books in a while, but this always stood out in my mind.

My other insecurity is that I won't remember things. For some reason, I'm

forgetting what happened, perhaps as a self-protection thing. I can't remember

things off the top of my head, unless I'm triggered by something. Then a lot of

it comes flooding back. I don't want to sound whiny or anything, either, to the

counselor, but I know that's my fada talking--oh great, " whining " was another

trigger.

Mostly I'm just talking it out loud in this email, to try to encourage myself to

do this.

Many thanks to Doug--he encouraged me to actually set up an appointment, and

reminding me that counseling is the way to healing, and anti-depressants are

just there to help with that. And thanks to DH for making it easy for me--I was

so reluctant and worried about prices--we're still kinda poor as we're still

looking for full time work, but DH inquired about the prices, and found out it

will be only $20/session, according to the sliding scale.

I think after the session I may try to go biking along the lakefront just to

work out all the emotions.

Anyway, just thought I'd let you guys know. It's like going to confession--i

don't really want to do it but I know I'll feel tons better afterwards.

Holly