Re: still thinking of all of you /Brett /Vicky

[Guest guest]

Dear Sher,

Thank you so much for taking the time to fill us in. I love this board and wish I had more time. I'm almost done with the weddings things and also all my pre-op tests for my knee surgery.

I wish I had more time, but I had to thank you for all you do!

hugs,

TerTerry Pennisi 11/07 IPF Nevada

Subject: still thinking of all of you /Brett /VickyTo: Breathe-Support Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 3:49 PM

 Brett... thanks for the update. All I can do is use my word, "DAMNIT!" when I don't know what else to say.

Yes, I know you will fight the cancer and attitude and determination surely play a huge part. I admire your tenacity considering all the plates you have in the air to juggle.

Keep us posted as often as you can. I haven't sent mail because I know it's a work mail and I'm thinking you are not at work. Are you receiving this at home???

You and your family are in my prayers every day Brett. I will pray especially for your continued strength and determination to remain strong.

Vicky ... I'll answer your post to me here on the board so others can read too.

I'm so sorry to hear you fell and of course I'm hoping you are ok now 5 days later. I'm glad you were not hurt although 'hurting all over' is an unneeded nuisance.

The 4# water loss feels good doesn't it. I hate that bloated feeling. I can carry 5-8 # of fluid retention so I know how good that feels.

You say your 'breathing is not as good as it was and you are sleeping a lot'. I know that's difficult for Gene to see since you say he 'is depressed/crying' . Honey, there probably isn't anything you CAN say to him that would ease his depression/crying. He is grieving.

Please do not think I am telling you what you should do in the following....however, as we have talked before...one of the reasons for being an inpatient in hospice is the patient does not continue to bear the full emotional load for making it easy on the family. That takes a lot of energy but it's something a woman must do.

As an inpatient, hospice gently deflects a little of the family emotion so as not to exhaust the patient and have visits be as good as they can be but of course there is no way to eliminate the tears and sorrow and depression. You are so loved Vicky and I know how hard this is on Gene and and of course your daughter.

Men and women (in general) respond differently to transition. Women want to make it easier for everyone around them (even a favorite nurse). Men tend to receive the nurturing and let go of the worry about family easier. Probably because a man is constantly reassured that "everything will be ok...don't worry about us".

Women are such a strength in the family that when they are in transition they hear or feel, "what will I do without you".

Now of course I don't mean every man and/or woman, you know that.

Let's see, as for other members, I will inadvertently forget someone and be so embarrassed after I click "Send" but I'll try.

I see your post to Brett so you know his latest dreaded news. Gwynnie is on vacation, doing great and feeling good. What a testimony for lung transplant she is. Tina is now on the waiting list for her own transplant.. .divorce proceeding and she is moving back in with her mom for care for her and Kaleb after transplant.

Joyce seldom posts and speaks about being "so tired". She has endured more than appears humanly possible but her few posts are always of encouragement to others.

Steve's wife, (WA) Vicky, is in the hospital with cancer throughout her entire body. Steve has been dx with early stage Alzheimer's and Vicky's sister will move in with him next month to help care for him. He told me, "I never dreamed it would ever be like this, to have a sister-in-law taking care of me".

There are gatherings being planned in CA and at Peggy's in Florida, both in Sept. I think. Wish I could scoop us both up on wings and go to both!

Don K has been told there is nothing else to do for him so has contacted hospice but they haven't been called in yet the last I heard.

Lou is wearing an eye patch now. Dr decided not to do the intended surgery, so she is adjusting to the patch.

Peggy is having more trouble breathing. Says she often feels "smothered". Ick. But she remains cheerful, you know Peggy.

L. is in transition too. She was told 2-5 months a month or so back. She started on a "holistic supplement" but I haven't heard how it's going. I'll email her and let you know.

Enough for today.. This is a long post. I sure hope I didn't forget anyone! Most of the board keeps on keepin' on. Ups and downs but keepin' on.

I love you Vicky..

MamaSher, age 69. IPF 3-06, OR. NasturtiumsDon't fret about tomorrow, God is already there!