Re: mindless eating as comfort

[Guest guest]

Hi, Abby,

I think the phrase "hiding eating from ourselves" comes first from Geneen's CDs, "When Food is Food and Love is Love." I have listened to these a bunch of times (I have a long commute on the days I work in the office), and it wasn't until this time listening that this part really hit me. She talks about various ways we do this. I'll give you some examples she gives, and add in some of my own:

(1) Eating broken cookies, and pretending that they don't really count

(2) "Edging off" a cake to make the piece left "more even"

(3) Eating something you don't enjoy--of course this doesn't really count, either

(4) Eating something while we're cooking (this is a major one for me)

(5) Eating while cleaning up the kitchen and putting away the food after the meal (ditto)

(6) Eating while distracted--in front of the TV, while on the computer, while talking on the phone, while driving

(7) Eating as a reward for doing something you didn't want to do (the calories don't count because, well, you deserved them!)

(8) Eating at work, at your desk

(9) Sneak-eating so someone else won't see (doesn't count if you don't get caught)

Basically, what she says it comes down to, is that any eating when you're not hungry is emotional eating, and something that you're likely to discount or distract yourself from thinking about, because your body would otherwise be telling you that it doesn't really want this stuff. She suggests that you make a list of the various ways you hide eating from yourself. I wasn't really aware, until I made my own list, of how often I try to sneak in food by eating mindlessly (or justifying it) when I'm not really hungry. Or when I am hungry, but somehow not willing to allow myself to sit down and enjoy my food and let myself eat.

I'm working on the "eating while cooking" business, which I justify by telling myself I have to taste what I eat to make sure it's good. I realized the folly of this yesterday morning when I was eating some andouille sausage I was crumbling to go into my scrambled eggs--I know what the sausage tastes like, and I surely wasn't going to be seasoning this dish in any way! When I get that habit stopped, I'll work on eating while cleaning up the kitchen, during which time I usually eat another half-portion, at least.

I also used to eat while driving, telling myself it saved time or was justified because I needed the nourishment and wasn't going to be home for awhile. Now if I get hungry on my commute, I pull over somewhere and stop and eat one of the small bags of popcorn I keep in the car trunk to stave off hunger, or I stop and get a small meal and have it while sitting in my parked car, paying attention to what I'm eating.

I hope this helps! I've found tackling these things one at a time has really made a difference for me. The trick for me is not to shame myself when I discover another instance of sneak-eating from myself. If I can just remember to stay curious instead of judgmental, I do ok.

All best,

Laurie

>>>Laurie,

I had to return my copy of Geneen Roth's book to the library... can you talk about what she (or you) mean by hiding eating from ourselves?

It's an intriguing concept but I'm not sure I fully "get it."

Thanks!

Abby<<<

[Guest guest]

Laurie,I appreciate your taking the time to write out the ways we can hide food from ourselves. Our family also went out to dinner last night for Father's Day after a fabulous day hike four miles up a steep mountain! (Yeah! I did it!!) I LOVED my meal and reminded myself to slow down and really enjoy it. What I didn't like was how I ate part of it I DIDN'T REALLY LIKE. Isn't that crazy and a habit to change. I loved the honey butter but didn't like the majority of the fry bread. I liked the coating of the bread but most of it was gooey and yucky. But I kept eating it so I could taste the honey and this outside covering. I have been thinking about this all morning and what I WISH was the SECOND I noticed that I didn't really like ALL of what I was eating is that I would have pulled off the part I liked and eaten that tiny bit with this honey butter. Quite decadent t I know - but wonderful. I read the following quote somewhere. I am sorry I don't remember the author: "If you don't love it, don't eat it, and if you love it - savor it." Thank you to all who write and share you struggles and successes!pPS: to Robin, I turned 54 this year!! Aging IS hard in many ways - but I AM wiser, less bothered by the superficial things in life, calmer, stronger inside myself. Aging has brought this to me. I trust it will do the same for you! Happy Birthday coming up!