Re: intro to this list

October 9, 2010

Hi there - new to the list, but I thought filling this out would be a good way

to break the ice.

1 - Your sex: Female

2 - Your age: 27

3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother: My mother is the borderline. My

father is just in denial.

4 - The age of your BPD parent(s): 58 (but if you asked her, she'd deny it).

5 - Whether that parent is still alive: Yes, but my husband would love to change

the answer to that one!

6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD: maybe five years? I was watching

Law & Order: SVU and saw a character who reminded me so totally of my mother, I

broke into a cold sweat. Later in the show, the psychiatrist diagnosed the

character as borderline, launching me into a ridiculous amount of research. But

it's still hard to explain exactly what 'borderline personality disorder' means,

other than to say " it's someone who acts like Mom " .

Cheers, Psyclone.

October 11, 2010

1 - Your sex: Female

2 - Your age: 36

3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother: I'm not sure but I think my

mother was borderline, pretty sure she was a psychopath.

4 - The age of your BPD parent(s): 60s I guess.

5 - Whether that parent is still alive: Alive but out of my life.

6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD: 3 years ago. Looking up an

abusive person in my life.

On Sat, Oct 9, 2010 at 10:17 PM, psyclone47@...

wrote:

>

> Hi there - new to the list, but I thought filling this out would be a good

> way to break the ice.

>

> 1 - Your sex: Female

> 2 - Your age: 27

> 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother: My mother is the

> borderline. My father is just in denial.

> 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s): 58 (but if you asked her, she'd deny

> it).

> 5 - Whether that parent is still alive: Yes, but my husband would love to

> change the answer to that one!

> 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD: maybe five years? I was

> watching Law & Order: SVU and saw a character who reminded me so totally of

> my mother, I broke into a cold sweat. Later in the show, the psychiatrist

> diagnosed the character as borderline, launching me into a ridiculous amount

> of research. But it's still hard to explain exactly what 'borderline

> personality disorder' means, other than to say " it's someone who acts like

> Mom " .

>

> Cheers, Psyclone.

>

October 12, 2010

1 - Your sex: Female

2 - Your age: 35 - 36 in just a few months

3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother: My mother is borderline,

an abuser, a hoarder, a food addict, fairly low functioning though she

usually manages to work. She split me black. I haven't had a conversation

with her in almost 8 years. My dad made some mistakes, but I believe overall

he was quite a good parent to me - staying married to nada was his blind

spot.

4 - The age of your BPD parent(s): She was born in 1949. What does that make

her? No want to do math this early

5 - Whether that parent is still alive: Yes, as far as I know

6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD: 2 years ago, in early 2008.

My father and I parted ways that Christmas when he tried to force me to see

her, and that sent me into a spiral of trying to learn everything I could

find. I just stumbled on it. Previously, I thought I was the problem in a

way - but I didn't care, I went NC before I even knew what it was. I knew I

couldn't have that crazy bitch in my life. I kept asking myself, why would I

spend a single second of my time with someone who treats me that way and

says the things she says?

On Mon, Oct 11, 2010 at 9:09 AM, Millicent Kunstler <

millicentkunstler@...> wrote:

>

> 1 - Your sex: Female

> 2 - Your age: 36

> 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother: I'm not sure but I think

> my

> mother was borderline, pretty sure she was a psychopath.

> 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s): 60s I guess.

> 5 - Whether that parent is still alive: Alive but out of my life.

> 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD: 3 years ago. Looking up an

> abusive person in my life.

>

> On Sat, Oct 9, 2010 at 10:17 PM, psyclone47@...<psyclone47%40ymail.com>

> <psyclone47@... <psyclone47%40ymail.com>>wrote:

>

> >

> > Hi there - new to the list, but I thought filling this out would be a

> good

> > way to break the ice.

> >

> > 1 - Your sex: Female

> > 2 - Your age: 27

> > 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother: My mother is the

> > borderline. My father is just in denial.

> > 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s): 58 (but if you asked her, she'd deny

> > it).

> > 5 - Whether that parent is still alive: Yes, but my husband would love to

> > change the answer to that one!

> > 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD: maybe five years? I was

> > watching Law & Order: SVU and saw a character who reminded me so totally

> of

> > my mother, I broke into a cold sweat. Later in the show, the psychiatrist

> > diagnosed the character as borderline, launching me into a ridiculous

> amount

> > of research. But it's still hard to explain exactly what 'borderline

> > personality disorder' means, other than to say " it's someone who acts

> like

> > Mom " .

> >

> > Cheers, Psyclone.

> >

>

October 12, 2010

1 - Female

2 - 36

3 - BPD mother, NPD father who remarried a BPD (fun times)

4 - BPD Mother-61, father 60, Step BPD witch 65 I think, I don't care to know.

5 - Unfortunately they're all alive

6 - February of 2010. I always thought my mother had paranoid schitzophrenia

(and she may when under stress), right up until the step nada had a little hissy

fit and went psycho on me. While venting to a friend about the situation (I also

sent her the lovely letter that was written to me) she said that she was a

poster child for BPD. I started researching and all the peices fell into place.

I also recently (with the help of this board) discovered that my father isn't

just an uncaring asshole, but has NPD.

It's pretty freeing to discover a " label " for the behavior and a group of people

who not only have had simular experiences but simular " fleas or ticks " from the

experiences. It's also pretty awesome to know that I'm not crazy or unloveable

as my parents would have me beleive.

>

> I'd like to hear a " Hi " from everyone on this list, I'd like to know

> 1 - Your sex,

> 2 - Your age,

> 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother,

> 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s),

> 5 - Whether that parent is still alive, and

> 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD.

>

> 1. female

> 2. 42

> 3. BPD mom ( actually my aunt, saw dad very seldom)

> 4. she's 86

> 5. Yes, unfortunately

> 6. learned about it last week!

>

> Ilene

>

October 12, 2010

1. Female

2. 27

3. Mother. She is also diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety.

4. 57

5. yes, and I'll chime in with others " unfortunately "

6. As long as I can remember I've known she was mentally ill. (she told me

herself.) I don't remember when she was properly diagnosed as BPD or when she

told me about that specifically. (she was misdiagnosed as bipolar, or as it was

called then, manic-depressive, first). Probably sometime in the late 80s or

early 90s. I definitely knew by the time I got the internet in 96, I remember

looking it up and reading the horrible statistics of the chances *I* would get

it as a daughter with a BPD mother.

Casey

> >

> > I'd like to hear a " Hi " from everyone on this list, I'd like to know

> > 1 - Your sex,

> > 2 - Your age,

> > 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother,

> > 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s),

> > 5 - Whether that parent is still alive, and

> > 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD.

> >

> > 1. female

> > 2. 42

> > 3. BPD mom ( actually my aunt, saw dad very seldom)

> > 4. she's 86

> > 5. Yes, unfortunately

> > 6. learned about it last week!

> >

> > Ilene

> >

>

October 13, 2010

1 - Your sex, female

2 - Your age, 46

3 - BPD mother and NPD father, divorced from Nada and remarried to a aif BPD!

4 - 70 Nada, 73 NPD

5 - both alive and 'needy', arrrghhh

6 - about 6 years ago,at a party. a Friend, after hearing my lament about yet

another of my nada 'scenes' and drama, commented that nada could be BPD. I

started reading about it and... my life changed.

October 22, 2010

1 - Your sex: Male

2 - Your age: 32

3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother: I believe my mother is. There

is no official diagnosis, of course, as most BP do not think anything is wrong

with them.

4 - The age of your BPD parent(s): 55

5 - Whether that parent is still alive: Alive but I keep emotional distance and

never ask for opinions anymore.

6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD: About 2 years ago. I'm a

recovered meth addict. 4 years ago I was deep in the trenches pretty much to

some sexual abuse by a priest and physical and mental abuse from my Mother.

After 2 years of therapy, going every week, my shrink pulled out a book and

asked me 20 questions about my mother. 18 of them were a YES -He was asking me

symptoms of BPD.

I'm excited to be in this group but also overwhelmed. Almost 100+ posts a day is

a lot to read. I will say one thing is that my therapist is trained in handling

BP's and has helped me to learn how not to be trapped. It's the traps that get

us in trouble and BP's issues with not being wrong or being blamed (at all).

I knew something was wrong with my Mother when I started recovery and decided it

was time to release the anger I felt for her. I would mention to her specific

arguments or reactions she had or hateful things she has done to me and she

denied ::ALL:: of it. From the age of 15 to the age of 27 my mother would call

me a 'faggot' in almost any argument that we had; he word to destroy me and end

the argument. I brought this up to her and she denied she EVER SAID the word. I

thought I was CRAZY! For almost a year.. I thought I was crazy until my sister

came up to me and said " you didn't imagine it... what you said to her was true

and I experienced the same things " . Thank god.. I broke down and cried and knew

that I was not a psychopath or delusional. I talking to my therapist about this

is when a red flagged was raised and we started the process of 'gearing up' for

my mom. Sadly, I need these tools to handle her but I dont deny that they are

much needed.

Anyway, keep up HOPE for those of you NEW to this experience and trying to

figure it out.. because there is HOPE and you are NOT CRAZY. =)

October 23, 2010

Welcome Harry, may you find much camaraderie and help here!

October 24, 2010

Female

39

Nada

In her 60's

Apparently a therapist suggested BPD to my mother years and years ago when she

and dad were in couples counseling. He didn't think she had enough of the things

on the list at the time to really diagnose it. And obviously had no idea how

damaging she would be to her kids. I want to smack that guy.

I always knew she was nuts, but I didn't know how to explain it. I heard about

Understanding the Borderline Mother when I fell apart in a new moms group,

having had my first baby and starting to really freak out that I would relive

the hell. While reading, I underlined practically the whole book. This was

almost two years ago.

tre

>

> I'd like to hear a " Hi " from everyone on this list, I'd like to know

> 1 - Your sex,

> 2 - Your age,

> 3 - If you had a BPD father and/or a BPD mother,

> 4 - The age of your BPD parent(s),

> 5 - Whether that parent is still alive, and

> 6 - How long ago did you first learn about BPD.

>

> 1. female

> 2. 42

> 3. BPD mom ( actually my aunt, saw dad very seldom)

> 4. she's 86

> 5. Yes, unfortunately

> 6. learned about it last week!

>

> Ilene

>

October 24, 2010

I also underlined most of that book in bright yellow.