Re: Weird Nada\s Behaviour

October 4, 2010

Sure wish I could get rid of the anger too. They are so dang clever at

lying and getting pity from others while they are in actuality, stabbing you

in the back. I understand what you are going thru.

Laurie

In a message dated 10/4/2010 11:53:18 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

tarang444@... writes:

I honestly think my nada has split personlity. One time she is smiling and

normal and the other time like an alien. She is resentful, disconnected,

almost like being high on something. I don't know if her anxiety medications

make her behave like that. It's just soooooo weired. I'm so glad to be LC

with her and she knows it too. Doesn't like it. But fortunately too

scared,cautious and proud to bug me about it. But in return she withold

information

about family members or talk behind my back which she has done in the past

and she does it so cleverly. Always starts with the statement like poor

her, or I'm worried about her and etc.,.. lol... If she only knew I'm so over

that too........

Life is good, it's just when on rare occasions I see her I can't help but

to feel angry afterwards.

October 4, 2010

I can remember when I was little, standing at the front door with my little

bro, waiting for fada to come home from work so we could warn him of what

mood she was in that day. Pretty sick. As resent as a few months ago,

fada was making a joke about it " I remember when you kids would wait for me

to get home and then tell me what kind of mood your mother was in! Ha ha

ha... " Yeah, it was real funny for a 6, 7, 8 yr. old.

Laurie

In a message dated 10/4/2010 12:37:58 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

anuria-67854@... writes:

My nada has always been a " Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde " also. She was almost

always the kindly, sweet, charming nada in public, but at home she could turn

instantly into the violent, red-faced, screaming nada I was so terrified of.

As a small child, I split my mother into two people I think because my

mother seemed like two different individuals. There was " my mommy " whom I

loved and she was good to me, and there was " the woman " whose eyes were dilated

black like a shark's, who got so close to me when she screamed at me

during her red-faced rage-tantrum that her spittle would hit my face, who

jerked

me around by the arm, slapped my face, called me bad names and terrified

me because I never knew just how angry she was going to get. Would she spank

me? Would I get hit with the belt? Would I die? I just never knew.

-Annie

>

> I honestly think my nada has split personlity. One time she is smiling

and normal and the other time like an alien. She is resentful, disconnected,

almost like being high on something. I don't know if her anxiety

medications make her behave like that. It's just soooooo weired. I'm so glad to

be

LC with her and she knows it too. Doesn't like it. But fortunately too

scared,cautious and proud to bug me about it. But in return she withold

information about family members or talk behind my back which she has done in

the

past and she does it so cleverly. Always starts with the statement like poor

her, or I'm worried about her and etc.,.. lol... If she only knew I'm so

over that too........

> Life is good, it's just when on rare occasions I see her I can't help

but to feel angry afterwards.

>

October 4, 2010

My nada has always been a " Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde " also. She was almost always

the kindly, sweet, charming nada in public, but at home she could turn instantly

into the violent, red-faced, screaming nada I was so terrified of.

As a small child, I split my mother into two people I think because my mother

seemed like two different individuals. There was " my mommy " whom I loved and

she was good to me, and there was " the woman " whose eyes were dilated black like

a shark's, who got so close to me when she screamed at me during her red-faced

rage-tantrum that her spittle would hit my face, who jerked me around by the

arm, slapped my face, called me bad names and terrified me because I never knew

just how angry she was going to get. Would she spank me? Would I get hit with

the belt? Would I die? I just never knew.

-Annie

>

> I honestly think my nada has split personlity. One time she is smiling and

normal and the other time like an alien. She is resentful, disconnected, almost

like being high on something. I don't know if her anxiety medications make her

behave like that. It's just soooooo weired. I'm so glad to be LC with her and

she knows it too. Doesn't like it. But fortunately too scared,cautious and proud

to bug me about it. But in return she withold information about family members

or talk behind my back which she has done in the past and she does it so

cleverly. Always starts with the statement like poor her, or I'm worried about

her and etc.,.. lol... If she only knew I'm so over that too........

> Life is good, it's just when on rare occasions I see her I can't help but to

feel angry afterwards.

>

October 4, 2010

We used to tag team it...nada would be on an all day rager, whoever came within

eyesight would be the next target of her rage. You never knew if she was going

to rip YOU to shreds or tell you how stupid you were for loving person X and how

awful THEY were...either way, it sucked. I remember being a teen and standing

outside the living room and quietly going back and forth with my dad about who

should cut through to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

At the time, it seemed normal.

Ninera

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Weird Nada\s Behaviour

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Monday, October 4, 2010, 5:31 PM

> I can remember when I was little,

> standing at the front door with my little

> bro, waiting for fada to come home from work so we could

> warn him of what

> mood she was in that day. Pretty sick. As

> resent as a few months ago,

> fada was making a joke about it " I remember when you

> kids would wait for me

> to get home and then tell me what kind of mood your mother

> was in! Ha ha

> ha... " Yeah, it was real funny for a 6, 7,

> 8 yr. old.

> Laurie

>

> In a message dated 10/4/2010 12:37:58 P.M. Eastern Daylight

> Time,

> anuria-67854@...

> writes:

>

> My nada has always been a " Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde " also. She

> was almost

> always the kindly, sweet, charming nada in public, but at

> home she could turn

> instantly into the violent, red-faced, screaming nada I was

> so terrified of.

>

> As a small child, I split my mother into two people I think

> because my

> mother seemed like two different individuals. There was " my

> mommy " whom I

> loved and she was good to me, and there was " the woman "

> whose eyes were dilated

> black like a shark's, who got so close to me when she

> screamed at me

> during her red-faced rage-tantrum that her spittle would

> hit my face, who jerked

> me around by the arm, slapped my face, called me bad names

> and terrified

> me because I never knew just how angry she was going to

> get. Would she spank

> me? Would I get hit with the belt? Would I die? I just

> never knew.

>

> -Annie

>

> >

> > I honestly think my nada has split personlity.

> One time she is smiling

> and normal and the other time like an alien. She is

> resentful, disconnected,

> almost like being high on something. I don't know if

> her anxiety

> medications make her behave like that. It's just

> soooooo weired. I'm so glad to be

> LC with her and she knows it too. Doesn't like it.

> But fortunately too

> scared,cautious and proud to bug me about it. But in

> return she withold

> information about family members or talk behind my

> back which she has done in the

> past and she does it so cleverly. Always starts with

> the statement like poor

> her, or I'm worried about her and etc.,.. lol... If

> she only knew I'm so

> over that too........

> > Life is good, it's just when on rare occasions I

> see her I can't help

> but to feel angry afterwards.

> >

>

October 5, 2010

My nada is still Jekyll and Hyde - Witch most of the time combined since she's

old now with a lot of waif/Queen and yes, in public she was this loving, sweet,

caring woman everyone adored who couldn't see through her that is. Apparently

my fourth grade teacher MANY years later did and said she recognized me by my

eyes (she hadn't seen me in YEARS and YEARS) saying she had a question for me

that had bugged her all these years - was my mother abusive? Huh?! Was she?!

You bet she was - majorly. Yes she is still abusive when I don't shut her down.

Defending myself does nothing but enrage her more and though my contact with her

is on the phone only every other day or so (a day without nada is a day WITH

sunshine even if it is pouring rain out), I absolutely can expect most of the

time verbal abuse from her or accusations or some twisted, disturbing fantasy

more times than not of the past which never happened. Of course all aimed at

making me feel either guilty for something that I never did or some mistake I

made YEARS ago which I would have handled differently if I were an adult then,

but I wasn't. She can't bring up the present and twist that because I don't

tell her anything she can use against me later (or try not to) but sometimes I

tell her something I THINK is benign and she twists that into something she can

scream about.

I think we all have to try to put our pasts with our nadas behind us as

difficult as that is to do I know because otherwise we are rewounding ourselves

all over again and that makes no sense to me. I think the best we can do is

protect ourselves with God's white light with a plastic bubble on top of it when

we have to interact with them saying as I do before I call her " I surround

myself with God's White Light with a plastic bubble on top of it. Whatever

nasty, vicious, derogatory, inflammatory or accusatory things you say to me,

bounce off me and go right back to you. " It seems to help somewhat (sometimes

better than others) and sometimes she even loses her nasty train of thought,

stops mid-sentence and goes on to something less inflammatory, but it's still

making me nuts to have to deal with it at all.

October 6, 2010

Mine can flip her personality like a switch. I can give a perfect example-

I was taking her to a doctor's appointment. During the 20 minute ride to the

office, she went on and on about what an awful daughter I was to her, how could

I treat her so bad, why am I doing this now, blah blah blah. As soon as we

stepped inside the office, she was smiling like Miss America, telling everyone

what a wonderful daughter she has, how considerate I was, taking time off of

work to take her to her appointments, blah blah blah. (It was all I could do to

keep from screaming!) As soon as we left, she was right back at what a horrible

daughter I was, following up with I never considered her needs....

I now see how many times, throughout my life, she has done this very same thing-

and I don't think it's a split personality " thing. " I think it's another way for

her to emotionally manipulate me, or anyone else in her way of getting what she

wants.