Guest guest Posted October 18, 2010 Report Share Posted October 18, 2010 High five for checking your impulse to answer the phone! That's something that was hard for me to teach myself too. Just let it ring and let the answering machine pick it up. I had to keep reminding myself that there is no law that says I have to pick up the phone if I don't want to. And, if there's anyplace on the Internet where its OK to vent, its this place. Good venting! -Annie > > My phone just rang and I accidentally almost answered it. It has been 3 years ago in August that I have not spoken to my Nada and she is ramping up crazy again and I can feel it in my bones. I have asked her in 2 letters on 2 different occasions NOT to contact me until she got help. She, very narc like, has found every way possible to get around that boundary and now is not adhering to it at all!!! I am not ready to answer the phone and might not ever be ready. I am not strong enough yet...I am still so weak to this process. Some may think I am wimping out....but I don't care. I was done 3 years ago and I am done now. I just hate this BPD/NPD!!! Now I have a message on my machine that my poor husband will have to deal with and I am just so angry that she puts us in this position time and time again. I guess I will eat the extra 10 bucks a month and have her blocked for good. F-this!!! > > I don't know what I need from all of you I just needed to get this off my chest. > > drlingirl > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2010 Report Share Posted October 18, 2010 I'm sorry drlingirl. I hate it when I get those indications that nada is worked up about something. I usually get a bunch of wierd emails but her last rant included some phone calls that I ignored and then a couple calls from my brother. Ugh. I am just so much happier when I don't have to deal with her at all. I don't think it is bad that you never want to talk to her again and don't feel bad about it. You may never be ready. I don't think I will be ready either. My nada is very high functioning and very good at manipulating. I think it would just be too exhausting to try to be around her and be on guard all the time. I am with you on this one! patinage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2010 Report Share Posted October 18, 2010 Thanks guys I am feeling much better now. I am weak because she made me this way. I am the kid who she could manipulate and control. My BPD sister puts her in her place and calls all the shots in their relationship where I always did as I was told. I just hate that she thinks she can leave messages on my phone WITHOUT having done any work on herself and yet I am in therapy and am doing it. The gall she has amazes me even though it shouldn't. She has been getting along for her 60+ years with the same behaviors. Yes she has lost friends along the way, goes months/years without talking to relatives, 2 ex-husbands, but she doesn't care as long as there is financial gains and someone to take her frustrations out on (new ex-husband and me). This kid is done with getting kicked around....off to call the phone company.....thanks again. drlingirl > > I'm sorry drlingirl. I hate it when I get those indications that nada is worked up about something. I usually get a bunch of wierd emails but her last rant included some phone calls that I ignored and then a couple calls from my brother. Ugh. I am just so much happier when I don't have to deal with her at all. > > I don't think it is bad that you never want to talk to her again and don't feel bad about it. You may never be ready. I don't think I will be ready either. > > My nada is very high functioning and very good at manipulating. I think it would just be too exhausting to try to be around her and be on guard all the time. I am with you on this one! > > patinage > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2010 Report Share Posted October 19, 2010 You go girl! Block her from calling is the only thing that makes sense. A huge mistake I made in my past was pulling my husband into the situation. I had made the big decisions to stop communicating with nada and fada, but left it up to my husband to communicate with them. That wasn't fair to him; altho he did have a choice in the matter in most cases, my husband was only trying to keep peace within the family. I see it was a mistake now. I didn't see it then. Now, neither one of us are communicating with them and we are both getting on with our lives.......key word being " OUR " lives! We were previously living in THEIR chaos and basing our schedules and time on THEIR needs. We all make mistakes......I'm just thankful we learn from them. Laurie In a message dated 10/18/2010 10:57:51 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, drlingirl@... writes: Thanks guys I am feeling much better now. I am weak because she made me this way. I am the kid who she could manipulate and control. My BPD sister puts her in her place and calls all the shots in their relationship where I always did as I was told. I just hate that she thinks she can leave messages on my phone WITHOUT having done any work on herself and yet I am in therapy and am doing it. The gall she has amazes me even though it shouldn't. She has been getting along for her 60+ years with the same behaviors. Yes she has lost friends along the way, goes months/years without talking to relatives, 2 ex-husbands, but she doesn't care as long as there is financial gains and someone to take her frustrations out on (new ex-husband and me). This kid is done with getting kicked around....off to call the phone company.....thanks again. drlingirl > > I'm sorry drlingirl. I hate it when I get those indications that nada is worked up about something. I usually get a bunch of wierd emails but her last rant included some phone calls that I ignored and then a couple calls from my brother. Ugh. I am just so much happier when I don't have to deal with her at all. > > I don't think it is bad that you never want to talk to her again and don't feel bad about it. You may never be ready. I don't think I will be ready either. > > My nada is very high functioning and very good at manipulating. I think it would just be too exhausting to try to be around her and be on guard all the time. I am with you on this one! > > patinage > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2010 Report Share Posted October 19, 2010 Hooray for you,drlingirl,for sticking to your boundary and enforcing it!!!! -- > Thanks guys I am feeling much better now. I am weak because she made me this way. I am the kid who she could manipulate and control. My BPD sister puts her in her place and calls all the shots in their relationship where I always did as I was told. I just hate that she thinks she can leave messages on my phone WITHOUT having done any work on herself and yet I am in therapy and am doing it. The gall she has amazes me even though it shouldn't. She has been getting along for her 60+ years with the same behaviors. Yes she has lost friends along the way, goes months/years without talking to relatives, 2 ex-husbands, but she doesn't care as long as there is financial gains and someone to take her frustrations out on (new ex-husband and me). > > This kid is done with getting kicked around....off to call the phone company.....thanks again. > > drlingirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2010 Report Share Posted October 19, 2010 My husband has been a saint for 27 years dealing with my crazy family and he would have been willing to cut them 20+ years ago. I wish I would have known more then. What a waste!!! I hate even having him listen to her messages and now I won't have to thanks to the phone company. 120 bucks a year to be Nada message free......priceless!!! Maybe now she will get the hint??? drlingirl > > > > I'm sorry drlingirl. I hate it when I get those indications that nada is > worked up about something. I usually get a bunch of wierd emails but her > last rant included some phone calls that I ignored and then a couple calls > from my brother. Ugh. I am just so much happier when I don't have to deal > with her at all. > > > > I don't think it is bad that you never want to talk to her again and > don't feel bad about it. You may never be ready. I don't think I will be ready > either. > > > > My nada is very high functioning and very good at manipulating. I think > it would just be too exhausting to try to be around her and be on guard all > the time. I am with you on this one! > > > > patinage > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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