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[Guest guest]

Hi McKella,I have a husband who is a diet master, and I am a codependant so it can be very, very, very challenging for me to have boundaries with him. Sometimes I get that "if you can't beat em join em" attitude that you got last night and I end up miserable because I wasn't able to respect what I needed in that moment. Have you considered finding a therapist that can help you set boundaries? Or find a support group that can help you? I am reading a book right now called "Boundaries: When to say yes and how to say no" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Townsend. It is a LIFE SAVER!!! It has so much valuable information in it, it puts into words things I have been experiencing and feeling for my entire life.

Here is a quote from page 216, "The overweight person feels enormous self-hate and shame about her condition. And, like others who suffer from out-of-control behaviors, the overweight person feels overwhelming shame for her behavior, which drives her away from relationship and back to food.Both chronic and bingeing overeaters suffer from an internal self-boundary problem. For overeaters, food serves as a false boundary. They might use food to avoid intimacy by gaining weight and becoming less attractive. Or they might binge as a way to get false closeness. For bingers, the "comfort" from food is less scary than the prospect of real relationships, where boundaries would be necessary."This may or may not describe you (and/or your husband) but it describes me to a T.Hope this was helpfull,Tana