it's getting interesting

[Guest guest]

I called nada this morning and before anything else, she said, ‘so your

brother’s not speaking to me.’ I really was very surprised b/c he’s

usually what I’ve heard others on this board call “golden child.’ He’s

very enmeshed/fused with her and anytime I mention anything near negative about

nada, he tells me to be patient and remember that she’s getting old.

Well, according to her, he’s done being patient. She said all she’d done was

“call him 4 or 5 times to see if he was ok. I was worried sick!†This was

AFTER she called me to see if he had called my daughter to wish her a happy

birthday. He had, and I told her so and told her not to worry about him; he was

obviously alive! She just blew me off and I could hear the anxiety in her

voice. Her only friend is away on vacation so I know she’s probably feeling

abandoned and alone.

So she became obsessive with hearing his voice for herself. After the fifth

call, she said my brother freaked on her. She kind of made it sound like I was

to blame because he said, “Fiona talks to you just one time a day. That’s

what I want , too. I’m tired of talking to you 3 and 4 times a day.†Which

I think is funny. Fiona wouldn’t mind making it one time a month!

All of this to say – I know she and my brother are going to try to draw me

into the middle of this and I want no part of it. Especially because I feel so

invalidated by him every time I’ve tried to bring my mother’s mental illness

up to him. He’s totally in denial.

I wish he and I could talk honestly about her issues but it’s just not going

to happen.

I remember years ago, my mother called me and said that my father didn’t look

well. I hadn’t seen my father in months at that point and went over to see

him. He looked gray and drawn. Awful. My brother came over too and exclaimed,

“oh he’s fine! You two make such a big deal over nothing.†Then he

scrammed back to his house. He just didn’t want to deal with it. It turned out

my father had lung cancer. Not that I expected my brother to diagnose him, but

come on, at least ACCEPT that something is wrong.

That’s what I wish would happen here. He has more leverage with her than I do.

Just venting...