boundary/work/life advice

[Guest guest]

So guys, I need some advice.

My boss and I are very good friends. we have worked side by side, very hard,

for 4 long years. She is a little younger than my mom and I'm a little older

than her daughters.

we are going through a rough time at our company. Just not enough money

coming in. She is also going through a rough time, her 25 year old daughter

moved home and is having a lot of problems mentally and physically.

I'm also going through a time of intense psychological exploration and

growth.

So my problem is that she picks at me - little details. yesterday she was

very very stressed over a presentation so she started doing things like

telling me to go get more ice for the water picture, not too put too many

napkins on the table and the one that pissed me off - to go brush and smooth

my hair.I must say, if they make their decision to hire us to represent them

over those things, they are idiots. they should base their choice on our

skills.

I'm almost 36 effing years old. I've been working in a career position for

going on 13 years. I can handle taking care of my own effing hair!!!!

So what I did - I wrapped my arms around her, I hugged her, I told her we

were going to be great and rock the potential client's world and not to

stress.I did this seconds after she told me to brush my hair. I'm like don't

worry, its ok, we are the best at this, we have done this a thousand times.

So did I do the right thing? My interpretation is that she was looking for

things she could control - because she couldn't control the client's

decision. And I think she controls me (or tries to) because I am a surrogate

daughter in some ways.

I responded to her core need with love. I guess I feel good about that.I do

love her - but my hair is mine. No touchy!

But I'd love to hear thoughts. . . because it did cross my boundary. Thanks,

Girlscout

P.S. We did rock the presentation, though by the time they finally arrived,

she'd kinda brought me down and I wasn't as psyched. (I love public speaking

- I just look at it as a chance to perform, and I find that fun.)