Re: Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman M.D.

October 30, 2010

" After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same

predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim

exaggerates; the victim brought it on herself; and in any case it is time to

forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is

his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his

arguments prevail. "

Knocks the wind out of me.

But I may buy this book.

Thanks for sharing.

Lynnette

>

> This book was mentioned and discussed at another internet support group for

the adult children of bpd parents, and it sounds really good. I'm going to go

see if they have it at my local library.

>

> Judith Herman is Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard

Medical School and Training Director of the Victims of Violence Program at The

Cambridge Hospital.

>

> She's the one who coined the term " Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder " ,

her theory is that there should be a distinction between ongoing, repetitive

trauma as opposed to a one-time traumatic incident, because the damage caused by

ongoing, repetitive trauma is more severe and difficult to heal and needs even

more specialized treatment.

>

> This excerpt from chapter one is my philosophy almost verbatim. It makes me

so happy to know that someone who is so educated and experienced in the trauma

and aftermath of child abuse, has written such a well-regarded book about it.

Its like, I've been her disciple without even knowing it!

>

> " To study psychological trauma is to come face to face both with human

vulnerability in the natural world and with the capacity for evil in human

nature. To study psychological trauma means bearing witness to horrible events.

When the events are natural disasters or " acts of God, " those who bear witness

sympathize readily with the victim. But when the traumatic events are of human

design, those who bear witness are caught in the conflict between victim and

perpetrator. It is morally impossible to remain neutral in this conflict.

>

> It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator

asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to

see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to

share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and

remembering. . . .

>

> In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does

everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the

perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks

the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to

make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of

arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant

rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same

predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim

exaggerates; the victim brought it on herself; and in any case it is time to

forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is

his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his

arguments prevail.

>

> The perpetrator's arguments prove irresistible when the bystander faces them

in isolation. Without a supportive social environment, the bystander usually

succumbs to the temptation to look the other way. This is true even when the

victim is an idealized and valued member of society. Soldiers in every war, even

those who have been regarded as heroes, complain bitterly that no one wants to

know the real truth about war. When the victim is already devalued (a woman, a

child), she may find that the most traumatic events in her life take place

outside the realm of socially validated reality. Her experience becomes

unspeakable. . . .

>

> To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that

affirms and protects the victim and that joins the victim and witness in a

common alliance. For the individual victim, this social context is created by

relationships with friends, lovers, and family. For the larger society, the

social context is created by political movements that give voice to the

disempowered. . . . "

>

> -Annie

>

October 30, 2010

Yes, " Trauma and Recovery " is a great book.I highly recommend it! I posted a

couple of articles by Judith Herman to the board a while back--I think

she's right on target and really gets the true nature of predatory behavior and

*why* bystander apathy happens.She is so correct when she says that the perp's

ace in the hole is that he/she demands nothing of the witness/bystander except

inaction--and like any con artist takes advantage of peoples' desire to trust in

others' basic decency.It is then very easy to demonize the victim as " negative "

" crazy " " trouble making " " vindictive " etc.; to twist it around into the *victim*

perpetrating discomfort and distress onto others by speaking his/her unpalatable

truth,requesting engagement from others with something they themselves couldn't

handle and would prefer not to know.The basic goodness of the *victim* then

becomes the suspect rather than the perp,who offers comfort and ease by

encouraging disbelief--while the victim's truth telling demands reflection and

critical thought on the part of the witness; demands an accountable involvement

of the witness/bystander which can inadvertantly engender resentment against the

victim.The perp then comes out of it smelling like roses because all they did

was *reassure* the witnesses,make them feel better,make them feel good.The

victim is always in the one down position because hearing about trauma/atrocity

makes other people feel bad--or nervous,if something must be done about it.How

much easier then to decide it wasn't such a big deal--perpetrators of

atrocity/abuse often drag bystanders down to their level in a subtle way and

because bystanders don't want to admit that they have been had by evil,the

vicious cycle of abuse/denial continues unexamined.

I love what Herman says about the necessity of creating a social context

in which both victim and witness are in alliance--that is the challenge and the

imperative of any movement that would advocate for abused children,for

example.Individuals in society need to believe that it is in *their own* best

interests to protect children from abuse,otherwise they will continue to fall

for the perp's con game of false reassurance and will continue to deny that

they've been had.The perpetrator's bag of tricks needs to be exposed for what it

truly is--an assault on the decency of the witness,similar to how the victim was

assaulted.Books like " Trauma and Recovery " expose those dirty tricks to the

clear light of day--Judith Herman is awesomely articulate and so on point.

Thanks for bringing this book to the attention of the message

board,Annie.