Guest guest Posted October 19, 2010 Report Share Posted October 19, 2010 Hi there I am a NOn-BP of a an untreated BP Mother-In-Law we have been through so much and its been soo hard I am glad I have found this group. I am the worlds most hated villian over here and no support from family until three days ago when they finally noticed for me I have been somewhat estranged form BP Mother in law for a year. She can't not stop harressing us !!! Any advice... The husband and other brother still dont see this..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2010 Report Share Posted October 19, 2010 My family dont see it either - everyone just things mum is a little " strange " or brushes it off as " thats just mums way of doing things " and everyone quite happily ignores the fact that when we were kids the was a violent screaming monster. People try so hard to make their life normal and avoid thinking of uncomfortable things - to the point of often ignoring the blatantly obvious. > > Hi there I am a NOn-BP of a an untreated BP Mother-In-Law we have been through so much and its been soo hard I am glad I have found this group. I am the worlds most hated villian over here and no support from family until three days ago when they finally noticed for me I have been somewhat estranged form BP Mother in law for a year. She can't not stop harressing us !!! Any advice... The husband and other brother still dont see this..... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Hi Welcome, Yes, I too had an insane Mother in law. Like almost homocidal insane. These ladies do NOT like daughter-in-laws, that's the competition. Who knew oedopal complex could go so far the other direction? i'm now VERY happily divorced. Sorry for your pain. Welcome Girlscout On Tue, Oct 19, 2010 at 7:59 PM, crazy150345 wrote: > > > My family dont see it either - everyone just things mum is a little > " strange " or brushes it off as " thats just mums way of doing things " and > everyone quite happily ignores the fact that when we were kids the was a > violent screaming monster. > > People try so hard to make their life normal and avoid thinking of > uncomfortable things - to the point of often ignoring the blatantly obvious. > > > > > > > > Hi there I am a NOn-BP of a an untreated BP Mother-In-Law we have been > through so much and its been soo hard I am glad I have found this group. I > am the worlds most hated villian over here and no support from family until > three days ago when they finally noticed for me I have been somewhat > estranged form BP Mother in law for a year. She can't not stop harressing us > !!! Any advice... The husband and other brother still dont see this..... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 I'm with you both on this one. My ex mother-in-law had two sons, each was married twice and she worked very hard to break up all the marriages. My brother-in-law saw what was happening and said " Maudie would just love it if Dick and me would both move back home and live with her forever. " He started standing up to her and was even planning to move 2,000 miles away from her with his second wife. She was so mean to him -- he called one night and said " how could a mother say something like that to her son . . . " (sorry, I forgot what it was she said). He was going to disallow her in their home. He died at age 38 of a massive coronary about a week later. She just wouldn't let up and he just couldn't take it. I told her it would've been much faster to just stick a knife in his heart if she was going to murder him like that. I'd gotten to the point that I didn't care about being " nice " to her when she was breaking my heart and said what I saw and what was truth. After 18 years my husband started seeing another woman who would leave lipsticks in the car, etc., for me to find. He left our home and moved in with his mother two weeks before Christmas that year. He dated that other woman for another 10 years and then broke up with her. Once I asked his mother (she called still but rarely) why they didn't just get married and she said " Because I don't want them to get married! " Well, there you have it. As a mother myself, what I wanted for my child was to have someone in her life who respected her and loved her unconditionally, someone that she could love unconditionally and respect in return, a mate that would be her very best friend for life. I won't be here forever and it is normal for people to find mates and be together and forge a future together. What kind of mother would not want that for her son or daughter? A sick one, that's what kind. The Bible does say leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife. But I'm wondering what kind of mental disorder that other kind of mother has, the kind that wants the kids to stay and live with them forever -- that way she is never alone but the kids as adults are just not normal. My husband, by the way, had BPD. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Wed, October 20, 2010 9:06:18 AM Subject: Re: Re: Hi I'm new to the group Hi Welcome, Yes, I too had an insane Mother in law. Like almost homocidal insane. These ladies do NOT like daughter-in-laws, that's the competition. Who knew oedopal complex could go so far the other direction? i'm now VERY happily divorced. Sorry for your pain. Welcome Girlscout On Tue, Oct 19, 2010 at 7:59 PM, crazy150345 wrote: > > > My family dont see it either - everyone just things mum is a little > " strange " or brushes it off as " thats just mums way of doing things " and > everyone quite happily ignores the fact that when we were kids the was a > violent screaming monster. > > People try so hard to make their life normal and avoid thinking of > uncomfortable things - to the point of often ignoring the blatantly obvious. > > > > > > > > Hi there I am a NOn-BP of a an untreated BP Mother-In-Law we have been > through so much and its been soo hard I am glad I have found this group. I > am the worlds most hated villian over here and no support from family until > three days ago when they finally noticed for me I have been somewhat > estranged form BP Mother in law for a year. She can't not stop harressing us > !!! Any advice... The husband and other brother still dont see this..... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Thank you so much for sharing you story with me. It made me emotional I think because it hits right home. It has been almost the saem thing I had gone through. She was mad because my husband bought the engagment ring a year ago on the day the dad was going to loose his job (in three months) She has it out for me and found out she wants me dead. No one ever believes me or my husband. I am the lucky sister in law because my husband wrote her off and we put in a restraining order and we are on our own with only support from my side of the family. The other sister in law the brother is brainwashed by the mom and she use to tell my husband " you use to be my favorite son but now I hate you and the other brother is now my best.) I always thought the same thing how could a mother say these things to a son? She told my uncle one time that She didn't know what was wrong with kevin She used to be able to tear him down and he would come running back.. he didn't ever go back. Its been a year now a little over a year i guess and apparently I am a celebrity in her home Im all she can focus on. The family has joined her sick ban wagon and believe I am the evil bad one. To them I have been married twice.(nope) three kids(nope) and have switched last names three times(nope) I am for sure a victim of the Disortation Campaigns. It has been hard on me, no its been hell but what I have last night i finally thought my sister in law came around met her for coffee for three hours and she told me oo Donna is Sick. (Duh) then only hours later text me and tell me Donna came over and said sorry everything is fine. She wasted my time, she wasnt strong enough. I will continue this journey with without his family. last night we turned in the restraining order so we have one year to get out of the state. The husband hates and me too. maybe he is BPD? or do husbands just go with the crziness? No one in the family thinks she has BPD.. but she is a classic case she fits the book to a T. she is a complusive shooper, overspender, finds something to hate about everyone, writes nasty emails, my husband wrote her an hand written letter two weeks ago telling her to stop harressing us.. we got the copied letter back in the mail from her yesterday saying I know you didnt wirte this letter son. LOL...she was not allowed at our wedding in June, she verbally attacked my pastor whom was the one who suggested the restaining order... I don't know what Ill do when we have kids... I am thinking the brother may have or get the BPD because he is most like Donna already. They all refuse to talk to and tell him that they hate him in hte past and he is an embaressment to the family. ummm they should reconsider.Thank you again for the words as i was touched that there are really people going through what I am > > > I'm with you both on this one. My ex mother-in-law had two sons, each was > married twice and she worked very hard to break up all the marriages. My > brother-in-law saw what was happening and said " Maudie would just love it > if > Dick and me would both move back home and live with her forever. " He > started > standing up to her and was even planning to move 2,000 miles away from her > with > his second wife. She was so mean to him -- he called one night and said > " how > could a mother say something like that to her son . . . " (sorry, I forgot > what > it was she said). He was going to disallow her in their home. He died at > age > 38 of a massive coronary about a week later. She just wouldn't let up and > he > just couldn't take it. I told her it would've been much faster to just > stick a > knife in his heart if she was going to murder him like that. I'd gotten to > the > point that I didn't care about being " nice " to her when she was breaking my > > heart and said what I saw and what was truth. After 18 years my husband > started > seeing another woman who would leave lipsticks in the car, etc., for me to > find. He left our home and moved in with his mother two weeks before > Christmas > that year. He dated that other woman for another 10 years and then broke > up > with her. Once I asked his mother (she called still but rarely) why they > didn't > just get married and she said " Because I don't want them to get married! " > Well, > there you have it. > > As a mother myself, what I wanted for my child was to have someone in her > life > who respected her and loved her unconditionally, someone that she could > love > unconditionally and respect in return, a mate that would be her very best > friend for life. I won't be here forever and it is normal for people to > find > mates and be together and forge a future together. What kind of mother > would > not want that for her son or daughter? A sick one, that's what kind. The > > Bible does say leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife. > > But I'm wondering what kind of mental disorder that other kind of mother > has, > the kind that wants the kids to stay and live with them forever -- that way > she > is never alone but the kids as adults are just not normal. My husband, by > the > way, had BPD. > > ________________________________ > From: Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@...<girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com> > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com> > Sent: Wed, October 20, 2010 9:06:18 AM > Subject: Re: Re: Hi I'm new to the group > > > Hi Welcome, > Yes, I too had an insane Mother in law. Like almost homocidal insane. These > ladies do NOT like daughter-in-laws, that's the competition. Who knew > oedopal complex could go so far the other direction? i'm now VERY happily > divorced. > > Sorry for your pain. > Welcome > Girlscout > > On Tue, Oct 19, 2010 at 7:59 PM, crazy150345 <crazy150345@...<crazy150345%40yahoo.com.au> > >wrote: > > > > > > > My family dont see it either - everyone just things mum is a little > > " strange " or brushes it off as " thats just mums way of doing things " and > > everyone quite happily ignores the fact that when we were kids the was a > > violent screaming monster. > > > > People try so hard to make their life normal and avoid thinking of > > uncomfortable things - to the point of often ignoring the blatantly > obvious. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi there I am a NOn-BP of a an untreated BP Mother-In-Law we have been > > through so much and its been soo hard I am glad I have found this group. > I > > am the worlds most hated villian over here and no support from family > until > > three days ago when they finally noticed for me I have been somewhat > > estranged form BP Mother in law for a year. She can't not stop harressing > us > > !!! Any advice... The husband and other brother still dont see this..... > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2010 Report Share Posted October 20, 2010 Any time you need an understanding shoulder, here I am -- and so many others that probably have the same thing. It's hard to have a in-law like that. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Wed, October 20, 2010 2:01:26 PM Subject: Re: Re: Hi I'm new to the group Thank you so much for sharing you story with me. It made me emotional I think because it hits right home. It has been almost the saem thing I had gone through. She was mad because my husband bought the engagment ring a year ago on the day the dad was going to loose his job (in three months) She has it out for me and found out she wants me dead. No one ever believes me or my husband. I am the lucky sister in law because my husband wrote her off and we put in a restraining order and we are on our own with only support from my side of the family. The other sister in law the brother is brainwashed by the mom and she use to tell my husband " you use to be my favorite son but now I hate you and the other brother is now my best.) I always thought the same thing how could a mother say these things to a son? She told my uncle one time that She didn't know what was wrong with kevin She used to be able to tear him down and he would come running back.. he didn't ever go back. Its been a year now a little over a year i guess and apparently I am a celebrity in her home Im all she can focus on. The family has joined her sick ban wagon and believe I am the evil bad one. To them I have been married twice.(nope) three kids(nope) and have switched last names three times(nope) I am for sure a victim of the Disortation Campaigns. It has been hard on me, no its been hell but what I have last night i finally thought my sister in law came around met her for coffee for three hours and she told me oo Donna is Sick. (Duh) then only hours later text me and tell me Donna came over and said sorry everything is fine. She wasted my time, she wasnt strong enough. I will continue this journey with without his family. last night we turned in the restraining order so we have one year to get out of the state. The husband hates and me too. maybe he is BPD? or do husbands just go with the crziness? No one in the family thinks she has BPD.. but she is a classic case she fits the book to a T. she is a complusive shooper, overspender, finds something to hate about everyone, writes nasty emails, my husband wrote her an hand written letter two weeks ago telling her to stop harressing us.. we got the copied letter back in the mail from her yesterday saying I know you didnt wirte this letter son. LOL...she was not allowed at our wedding in June, she verbally attacked my pastor whom was the one who suggested the restaining order... I don't know what Ill do when we have kids... I am thinking the brother may have or get the BPD because he is most like Donna already. They all refuse to talk to and tell him that they hate him in hte past and he is an embaressment to the family. ummm they should reconsider.Thank you again for the words as i was touched that there are really people going through what I am > > > I'm with you both on this one. My ex mother-in-law had two sons, each was > married twice and she worked very hard to break up all the marriages. My > brother-in-law saw what was happening and said " Maudie would just love it > if > Dick and me would both move back home and live with her forever. " He > started > standing up to her and was even planning to move 2,000 miles away from her > with > his second wife. She was so mean to him -- he called one night and said > " how > could a mother say something like that to her son . . . " (sorry, I forgot > what > it was she said). He was going to disallow her in their home. He died at > age > 38 of a massive coronary about a week later. She just wouldn't let up and > he > just couldn't take it. I told her it would've been much faster to just > stick a > knife in his heart if she was going to murder him like that. I'd gotten to > the > point that I didn't care about being " nice " to her when she was breaking my > > heart and said what I saw and what was truth. After 18 years my husband > started > seeing another woman who would leave lipsticks in the car, etc., for me to > find. He left our home and moved in with his mother two weeks before > Christmas > that year. He dated that other woman for another 10 years and then broke > up > with her. Once I asked his mother (she called still but rarely) why they > didn't > just get married and she said " Because I don't want them to get married! " > Well, > there you have it. > > As a mother myself, what I wanted for my child was to have someone in her > life > who respected her and loved her unconditionally, someone that she could > love > unconditionally and respect in return, a mate that would be her very best > friend for life. I won't be here forever and it is normal for people to > find > mates and be together and forge a future together. What kind of mother > would > not want that for her son or daughter? A sick one, that's what kind. The > > Bible does say leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife. > > But I'm wondering what kind of mental disorder that other kind of mother > has, > the kind that wants the kids to stay and live with them forever -- that way > she > is never alone but the kids as adults are just not normal. My husband, by > the > way, had BPD. > > ________________________________ > From: Girlscout Cowboy ><girlscout.cowboy@...<girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com> > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com> > Sent: Wed, October 20, 2010 9:06:18 AM > Subject: Re: Re: Hi I'm new to the group > > > Hi Welcome, > Yes, I too had an insane Mother in law. Like almost homocidal insane. These > ladies do NOT like daughter-in-laws, that's the competition. Who knew > oedopal complex could go so far the other direction? i'm now VERY happily > divorced. > > Sorry for your pain. > Welcome > Girlscout > > On Tue, Oct 19, 2010 at 7:59 PM, crazy150345 ><crazy150345@...<crazy150345%40yahoo.com.au> > >wrote: > > > > > > > My family dont see it either - everyone just things mum is a little > > " strange " or brushes it off as " thats just mums way of doing things " and > > everyone quite happily ignores the fact that when we were kids the was a > > violent screaming monster. > > > > People try so hard to make their life normal and avoid thinking of > > uncomfortable things - to the point of often ignoring the blatantly > obvious. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi there I am a NOn-BP of a an untreated BP Mother-In-Law we have been > > through so much and its been soo hard I am glad I have found this group. > I > > am the worlds most hated villian over here and no support from family > until > > three days ago when they finally noticed for me I have been somewhat > > estranged form BP Mother in law for a year. She can't not stop harressing > us > > !!! Any advice... The husband and other brother still dont see this..... > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 I put in the restraining order nad she is petitioning it i have court hearing next friday I am a victim of Disortation campaigns so i am sure this will get bad, any advice ?? > > > Any time you need an understanding shoulder, here I am -- and so many > others > that probably have the same thing. It's hard to have a in-law like that. > > ________________________________ > From: Fergus <ashleyfergus@... <ashleyfergus%40gmail.com>> > To: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com> > Sent: Wed, October 20, 2010 2:01:26 PM > Subject: Re: Re: Hi I'm new to the group > > Thank you so much for sharing you story with me. It made me emotional I > think because it hits right home. It has been almost the saem thing I had > gone through. She was mad because my husband bought the engagment ring a > year ago on the day the dad was going to loose his job (in three months) > She > has it out for me and found out she wants me dead. No one ever believes me > or my husband. I am the lucky sister in law because my husband wrote her > off > and we put in a restraining order and we are on our own with only support > from my side of the family. The other sister in law the brother is > brainwashed by the mom and she use to tell my husband " you use to be my > favorite son but now I hate you and the other brother is now my best.) > I always thought the same thing how could a mother say these things to a > son? She told my uncle one time that She didn't know what was wrong with > kevin She used to be able to tear him down and he would come running back.. > he didn't ever go back. Its been a year now a little over a year i guess > and > apparently I am a celebrity in her home Im all she can focus on. The family > has joined her sick ban wagon and believe I am the evil bad one. To them I > have been married twice.(nope) three kids(nope) and have switched last > names > three times(nope) I am for sure a victim of the Disortation Campaigns. It > has been hard on me, no its been hell but what I have last night i finally > thought my sister in law came around met her for coffee for three hours and > she told me oo Donna is Sick. (Duh) then only hours later text me and tell > me Donna came over and said sorry everything is fine. She wasted my time, > she wasnt strong enough. I will continue this journey with without > his > family. last night we turned in the restraining order so we have one year > to > get out of the state. The husband hates and me too. maybe he is BPD? > or do husbands just go with the crziness? No one in the family thinks she > has BPD.. but she is a classic case she fits the book to a T. she is a > complusive shooper, overspender, finds something to hate about everyone, > writes nasty emails, my husband wrote her an hand written letter two weeks > ago telling her to stop harressing us.. we got the copied letter back in > the > mail from her yesterday saying I know you didnt wirte this letter son. > LOL...she was not allowed at our wedding in June, she verbally attacked my > pastor whom was the one who suggested the restaining order... I don't know > what Ill do when we have kids... I am thinking the brother may have or get > the BPD because he is most like Donna already. They all refuse to talk to > and tell him that they hate him in hte past and he is an embaressment > to the family. ummm they should reconsider.Thank you again for the words as > i was touched that there are really people going through what I am > > On Wed, Oct 20, 2010 at 7:22 AM, Tiny Pundit <tiny.pundit@...<tiny.pundit%40yahoo.com>> > wrote: > > > > > > > I'm with you both on this one. My ex mother-in-law had two sons, each > was > > married twice and she worked very hard to break up all the marriages. My > > brother-in-law saw what was happening and said " Maudie would just love it > > if > > Dick and me would both move back home and live with her forever. " He > > started > > standing up to her and was even planning to move 2,000 miles away from > her > > with > > his second wife. She was so mean to him -- he called one night and said > > " how > > could a mother say something like that to her son . . . " (sorry, I forgot > > what > > it was she said). He was going to disallow her in their home. He died > at > > age > > 38 of a massive coronary about a week later. She just wouldn't let up > and > > he > > just couldn't take it. I told her it would've been much faster to just > > stick a > > knife in his heart if she was going to murder him like that. I'd gotten > to > > the > > point that I didn't care about being " nice " to her when she was breaking > my > > > > heart and said what I saw and what was truth. After 18 years my husband > > started > > seeing another woman who would leave lipsticks in the car, etc., for me > to > > find. He left our home and moved in with his mother two weeks before > > Christmas > > that year. He dated that other woman for another 10 years and then broke > > up > > with her. Once I asked his mother (she called still but rarely) why they > > didn't > > just get married and she said " Because I don't want them to get married! " > > Well, > > there you have it. > > > > As a mother myself, what I wanted for my child was to have someone in her > > life > > who respected her and loved her unconditionally, someone that she could > > love > > unconditionally and respect in return, a mate that would be her very > best > > friend for life. I won't be here forever and it is normal for people to > > find > > mates and be together and forge a future together. What kind of mother > > would > > not want that for her son or daughter? A sick one, that's what kind. > The > > > > Bible does say leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife. > > > > But I'm wondering what kind of mental disorder that other kind of mother > > has, > > the kind that wants the kids to stay and live with them forever -- that > way > > she > > is never alone but the kids as adults are just not normal. My husband, > by > > the > > way, had BPD. > > > > ________________________________ > > From: Girlscout Cowboy > ><girlscout.cowboy@... <girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com> > <girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com> > > > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com> > <WTOAdultChildren1%40yahoogroups.com> > > Sent: Wed, October 20, 2010 9:06:18 AM > > Subject: Re: Re: Hi I'm new to the group > > > > > > Hi Welcome, > > Yes, I too had an insane Mother in law. Like almost homocidal insane. > These > > ladies do NOT like daughter-in-laws, that's the competition. Who knew > > oedopal complex could go so far the other direction? i'm now VERY happily > > divorced. > > > > Sorry for your pain. > > Welcome > > Girlscout > > > > On Tue, Oct 19, 2010 at 7:59 PM, crazy150345 > ><crazy150345@... <crazy150345%40yahoo.com.au><crazy150345% > 40yahoo.com.au> > > >wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > My family dont see it either - everyone just things mum is a little > > > " strange " or brushes it off as " thats just mums way of doing things " > and > > > everyone quite happily ignores the fact that when we were kids the was > a > > > violent screaming monster. > > > > > > People try so hard to make their life normal and avoid thinking of > > > uncomfortable things - to the point of often ignoring the blatantly > > obvious. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi there I am a NOn-BP of a an untreated BP Mother-In-Law we have > been > > > through so much and its been soo hard I am glad I have found this > group. > > I > > > am the worlds most hated villian over here and no support from family > > until > > > three days ago when they finally noticed for me I have been somewhat > > > estranged form BP Mother in law for a year. She can't not stop > harressing > > us > > > !!! Any advice... The husband and other brother still dont see > this..... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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