Re: BPD and Religious Circles?

November 3, 2010

I buy your theory.

I've wondered about this this myself: are Cluster B individuals in particular

drawn like bees to honey to primal sources of power, such as great wealth, great

fame, political organizations, great beauty or celebrity, or religious

organizations?

I think there is definitely great power in aligning oneself with religions

organizations, or cloaking oneself in religious convictions. How much more

authoritative and powerful is it to say, " GOD says you are a bad daughter to me "

instead of simply saying, " You hurt my feelings when you said that. "

Aligning oneself with the ultimate power source must be a very heady experience

for the bpd nada with a lot of narcissistic traits; co-opting God as your hit

man: is there anything more powerful than that?

-Annie

>

> Is it just me? Or is BPD drawn to churches and/or circles of faith? One more

just popped up in my church, and I'm starting to wonder if they are more

prevalent in church.

>

> Is it my imagination?

>

> I would imagine, if I had endless needs and an insane commitment to being

right all the time . . . I think church would be a great place to go.

>

> Imagine. Lots of people who define themselves by serving others and who, by

the very nature of religion, believe in worship. (Of God, not nada, but nada

doesn't quite get that). Lots of ways to distort religion into " I'm god "

instead of " I answer to God. "

>

> I'd love to hear your thoughts--

>

> Blessings,

> Karla

>

November 3, 2010

Karla

I ve never mentioned this before, I don t think, but my nada was a

pastor in a protestant denomination. So was my dad. After they split

and he left the ministry, she went to a pastor friend for advice. He

told her, I think pastoring a church would eat you alive, given your

personality.

So she, of course, said well I have to do what God wants me to, and

jumped off the cliff. Excuse me? If God told you to, why ask for

advice? If God led you to ask for advice, why not take it? But nada

went on, her father was called to preach, when he saw a bright light and

heard God s voice while coming home drunk one night. Since he didnt do

it, and then her 1st husband did it and then quit, THE MANTLE had

fallen to her.

She was abysmal. She had increasing problems in each church she

pastored due to her BP characteristics. Her hoarding and awful lack of

cleanliness made the parsonages she lived in pig sties, she practiced

splitting on members of her congregation, and the drama queen part of

things kept them stirred up from the time she swept into town until they

told their bishop, we ll do without a pastor before we take her.

So, yea , I ve seen it.

Interestingly, they offered her positions like chaplain to an old folks

home as she was nearing retirement, but she wouldnt take it because , of

course, God wanted her to be in a pulpit. They finally sent her home

after Christmas one year, said get ready to retire. You are eligible in

June, stay out of the church till then, and in June be ready to go

retire. It was a gift: if they had not given her that time, she would

not have qualified for a pension. As it was, she was bitter toward them

till her death for forcing her to retire. She failed to see the

alternative was to fire her, and then she would have had no pension.

She had a finely honed sense of the supernatural, seeing voices from

God in almost anything. Strangely, God was always telling her that she

was right, that anyone who disagreed with her was wrong and mean.

I do think they are drawn to the religious, perhaps in part as a way to

seek miraculously for their lives to straighten out. But also in part,

IMHO, because it is so very convenient to say " God wants me to... " and

that is supposed to stop all argument. One of the many directions the

circular arguments that we cannot win, that we all know so well, took in

the case of Nada.

Doug

November 3, 2010

Finally figured out how to not have my real name display (I hope!), so I can

post again.

My nada is ramping up her crazy as the holidays approach. She sent all my kids

Halloween cards (cuz, you know, THAT'S a Hallmark holiday) and then sent me a

card that says across the front, " Good Morning, This is God. " Then she wrote

this entirely bizarre note inside, basically saying that " We need your children

and they need us " (NC for 3 years) and " we're very hurt but we'll get over it "

(NC because she made very disparaging comments about my kids to their faces, and

when confronted about it, tried to make it seem like it was their fault, my

fault, or hey, you know what? It didn't really happen!) It was entirely creepy.

She is a religious zealot, and God is ALWAYS on her side. She ended the note by

saying " I know you'll do the right thing. "

For once, she's right, only our definitions of " right " differ.

>

> Is it just me? Or is BPD drawn to churches and/or circles of faith? One more

just popped up in my church, and I'm starting to wonder if they are more

prevalent in church.

>

> Is it my imagination?

>

> I would imagine, if I had endless needs and an insane commitment to being

right all the time . . . I think church would be a great place to go.

>

> Imagine. Lots of people who define themselves by serving others and who, by

the very nature of religion, believe in worship. (Of God, not nada, but nada

doesn't quite get that). Lots of ways to distort religion into " I'm god "

instead of " I answer to God. "

>

> I'd love to hear your thoughts--

>

> Blessings,

> Karla

>

November 3, 2010

Kudos to you for doing the true right thing: protecting your children from

someone who has a history of being verbally cruel to them, denigrating them,

then denying it. That is awesome, courageous, mother-bear stuff on your part:

Brava!.

Sounds like your bpd mom is one of those who has co-opted God as her hit-man;

" Do what I say or God will punish you. "

Interesting that it never seems to occur to these religious-zealot-types that

perhaps in the afterlife (if there is one) that God might horribly punish for

eternity those who are cruel to the little children placed in their care?

I guess they're not capable of comprehending that their behaviors are abnormal,

cruel and damaging, which is precisely why such individuals should not be

raising kids in the first place.

-Annie

>

> Finally figured out how to not have my real name display (I hope!), so I can

post again.

>

> My nada is ramping up her crazy as the holidays approach. She sent all my

kids Halloween cards (cuz, you know, THAT'S a Hallmark holiday) and then sent me

a card that says across the front, " Good Morning, This is God. " Then she wrote

this entirely bizarre note inside, basically saying that " We need your children

and they need us " (NC for 3 years) and " we're very hurt but we'll get over it "

(NC because she made very disparaging comments about my kids to their faces, and

when confronted about it, tried to make it seem like it was their fault, my

fault, or hey, you know what? It didn't really happen!) It was entirely creepy.

She is a religious zealot, and God is ALWAYS on her side. She ended the note by

saying " I know you'll do the right thing. "

>

> For once, she's right, only our definitions of " right " differ.

November 3, 2010

I don't know. I've been involved in a lot of various types of churches over the

years and most folks were there to learn how to be better people, to find ways

to give to others. I think any place you go there will be a certain percentage

of dysfunctional people whether it's at work, in public, in church or in our own

family circle.

Maybe I've just been lucky but I've met some terrific people at churches that

freely gave of themselves way beyond what I've ever done. There may be some

specific faiths that tend to dwell on fear and guilt as a motivator but I avoid

those.

>

> Is it just me? Or is BPD drawn to churches and/or circles of faith? One more

just popped up in my church, and I'm starting to wonder if they are more

prevalent in church.

>

> Is it my imagination?

>

> I would imagine, if I had endless needs and an insane commitment to being

right all the time . . . I think church would be a great place to go.

>

> Imagine. Lots of people who define themselves by serving others and who, by

the very nature of religion, believe in worship. (Of God, not nada, but nada

doesn't quite get that). Lots of ways to distort religion into " I'm god "

instead of " I answer to God. "

>

> I'd love to hear your thoughts--

>

> Blessings,

> Karla

>

November 4, 2010

I tend to back away from those that scream their beliefs into your face or if

they claim that everything bad that happens is because you did something bad.

Get the flu? It's not because it's flu season; it's because you didn't call nada

this week. Got in a car accident? Not due to icy conditions on the road. It's

God out to get you. Nope, that's not my view of faith at all. They're out to

control, not heal or help. I'm very thankful for the kind people of faith I've

met over the years. They've been an encouragement to me, not a hammer.

>

> Thats awesome you've had a positive experience Irene. I'm sure you are very

right. I know people who are very involved in the church, and I don't think they

have any PDs to note.

>

> my family though, a whole other matter.

>

> I'm to the point where if I see someone/hear someone expressing their

religion/praying loudly or in an over the top way, I get very very wary of them

and start to back away slowly.

>

November 7, 2010

There are percentages of the population who are sociopathic, percentages who are

bipolar, percentages who are borderlines, percentages who are schizoaffectives,

etc.Â The percentages don't change in the church setting, which is made up of

the general populace.Â Those that do not have families and are " needy "

emotionally, mentally, financially, may go to church to get a church family

because they no longer have one for whatever reason -- died off or run off.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wed, November 3, 2010 2:08:14 AM

Subject: BPD and Religious Circles?

Â

Is it just me? Or is BPD drawn to churches and/or circles of faith? One more

just popped up in my church, and I'm starting to wonder if they are more

prevalent in church.

Is it my imagination?

I would imagine, if I had endless needs and an insane commitment to being right

all the time . . . I think church would be a great place to go.

Imagine. Lots of people who define themselves by serving others and who, by the

very nature of religion, believe in worship. (Of God, not nada, but nada doesn't

quite get that). Lots of ways to distort religion into " I'm god " instead of " I

answer to God. "

I'd love to hear your thoughts--

Blessings,

Karla

November 7, 2010

Anyone who tries to usurp God's authority does not do so in secret.Â God knows

all things, including those that are misusing the faith, the church, and God's