Imaginary world

[Guest guest]

I read on here one poster saying he created an imaginary world as a child and

found himself (herself?) trying to escape into TV, etc.

I REALLY did this as a child. Half my life I was only superficially aware of my

surroundings, as I created stories about an entire group of imaginary characters

in my head, based on movies and TV. I knew something was " wrong " with me and

that other children didn't live this way, but I couldn't make myself give it up.

I was too unhappy.

Did anybody else live like this as a kid?

--.

[Guest guest]

I did. Sometimes I feel like I still do, to an extent! (books, movies, etc)

>

> I read on here one poster saying he created an imaginary world as a child and

found himself (herself?) trying to escape into TV, etc.

>

> I REALLY did this as a child. Half my life I was only superficially aware of

my surroundings, as I created stories about an entire group of imaginary

characters in my head, based on movies and TV. I knew something was " wrong "

with me and that other children didn't live this way, but I couldn't make myself

give it up. I was too unhappy.

>

> Did anybody else live like this as a kid?

>

> --.

>

[Guest guest]

Ditto. I wanted to write fiction books, and I would write stories in my head

all day. And I thought in 3rd person instead of 1st.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes! A friend of mine and I, who both had difficult childhoods, often remark on

how much time we spent reading when we were kids. I had plenty of friends at

school, but I'd still spend many recesses just reading my book. And I would read

ANYTHING. I'm pretty sure part of the reason I'm very different in some ways

from the rest of my family is that I actually got very strong ideas about

behavior and morality from the books I read. Books taught me that negative

feelings do not justify negative actions.

I also used to create plots for plays and about a billion make-believe games.

I imagine the need to detach is stronger the more traumatic your youth was.

Do you still find yourself making up stories, ever? Or is it something that's

faded now that you're an adult?

>

> I read on here one poster saying he created an imaginary world as a child and

found himself (herself?) trying to escape into TV, etc.

>

> I REALLY did this as a child. Half my life I was only superficially aware of

my surroundings, as I created stories about an entire group of imaginary

characters in my head, based on movies and TV. I knew something was " wrong "

with me and that other children didn't live this way, but I couldn't make myself

give it up. I was too unhappy.

>

> Did anybody else live like this as a kid?

>

> --.

>

[Guest guest]

I escaped into fantasy pretty much all the time. My nada thought it was

amusing, not a sign that something was wrong. She used to laugh and tell me

that when I was a preschooler, I would decide to be somebody else for a day (one

or another of my favorite cartoon characters) and I would not answer her unless

she addressed me as that character all day. I do recall spending a lot of time

outdoors playing " action-adventure " games with friends and playing by myself,

and spending time reading and watching TV when forced to be indoors.

I don't remember spending much time at all, very little time, actually

interacting with nada in a positive way. She would get irritated with me when

she'd try to teach me things (like music) and she didn't want me around her at

all when she was cooking or sewing, so, if I wasn't doing chores (and getting

criticized for doing them wrong) I had to amuse myself as a child, and playing

in fantasy worlds was my preferred activity.

-Annie

>

> I read on here one poster saying he created an imaginary world as a child and

found himself (herself?) trying to escape into TV, etc.

> Did anybody else live like this as a kid?

>

> --.

>

[Guest guest]

I was an only child and I spent HOURS daily reading " Drew " books and

almost anything as well. That and my art were escapes from nada and her abuses.

I also spent very, very few hours in the kitchen when nada was cooking or

baking, but it wasn't because I didn't WANT to learn how to cook or bake, I was

kicked OUT of the kitchen because these were 'nada's secrets' and I was not to

know about these recipes. Now that she's an old, demented woman she tells me

she put her 'recipes and good cookbooks away for me' so I can have them after

she's gone. She has given me a scant few recipes in recent years but I created

my own recipes over the years that have nothing to do with nada's recipes and I

like it that way.

Corporate America for the most part doesn't have our best interest at heart. I

agree 100%. Except for our $ which they want we are invisible. Child abuse

doesn't sell. The truth about BPD probably doesn't sell either.

[Guest guest]

I used to read a LOT. I read almost every book in the school library. Mum hated

it, she thought it was a waste of time. I loved it as I got to escape into

another world - even now, when I am reading I cannot hear people if they talk to

me, everything gets filtered out, its like I go deaf while Im watching the movie

in my head.

Very handy on planes ;]

>

>

> Yes! A friend of mine and I, who both had difficult childhoods, often remark

on how much time we spent reading when we were kids. I had plenty of friends at

school, but I'd still spend many recesses just reading my book. And I would read

ANYTHING. I'm pretty sure part of the reason I'm very different in some ways

from the rest of my family is that I actually got very strong ideas about

behavior and morality from the books I read. Books taught me that negative

feelings do not justify negative actions.

>

> I also used to create plots for plays and about a billion make-believe games.

>

> I imagine the need to detach is stronger the more traumatic your youth was.

>

> Do you still find yourself making up stories, ever? Or is it something that's

faded now that you're an adult?

[Guest guest]

I lived in stories. I found a series of books - I can't say what they are

because it's unusual and would identify me - but they were odd books for ten

year old to get into. And I read them constantly, all told about twenty 300 or

more page books. Non-stop. My FOO thought it was great that I was so " smart "

showing this great aptitude for reading which of course reflected so well on

them. But in hindsight I wanted to be lost...far far away.

> >

> > I read on here one poster saying he created an imaginary world as a child

and found himself (herself?) trying to escape into TV, etc.

> >

> > I REALLY did this as a child. Half my life I was only superficially aware

of my surroundings, as I created stories about an entire group of imaginary

characters in my head, based on movies and TV. I knew something was " wrong "

with me and that other children didn't live this way, but I couldn't make myself

give it up. I was too unhappy.

> >

> > Did anybody else live like this as a kid?

> >

> > --.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think this is exactly along the lines of how I created having DID as a little

girl...just obviously didnt know it had a name...fantasy world.

Re: Imaginary world

I lived in stories. I found a series of books - I can't say what they are

because it's unusual and would identify me - but they were odd books for ten

year old to get into. And I read them constantly, all told about twenty 300 or

more page books. Non-stop. My FOO thought it was great that I was so " smart "

showing this great aptitude for reading which of course reflected so well on

them. But in hindsight I wanted to be lost...far far away.

> >

> > I read on here one poster saying he created an imaginary world as a child

and found himself (herself?) trying to escape into TV, etc.

> >

> > I REALLY did this as a child. Half my life I was only superficially aware of

my surroundings, as I created stories about an entire group of imaginary

characters in my head, based on movies and TV. I knew something was " wrong " with

me and that other children didn't live this way, but I couldn't make myself give

it up. I was too unhappy.

> >

> > Did anybody else live like this as a kid?

> >

> > --.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm - I don't think I still make up imagination games. But I'm known for

haivng a creative flair and my job is to take boring stuff, add a dash of

creativity and make it interesting, visual, engaging etc. So I think it

relates. Basically, I tell stories for a living - I meet with people, learn

about what they want to have other people know about htem, then I write it

so its interesting, fun, creative, engaging etc and get the media to cover

it from there.

I think it would be easy to do for BPD, we just need a grant or something to

pay for it. My specialty is public service campaigns.

>

>

> I think this is exactly along the lines of how I created having DID as a

> little girl...just obviously didnt know it had a name...fantasy world.

>

>

> Re: Imaginary world

>

> I lived in stories. I found a series of books - I can't say what they are

> because it's unusual and would identify me - but they were odd books for ten

> year old to get into. And I read them constantly, all told about twenty 300

> or more page books. Non-stop. My FOO thought it was great that I was so

> " smart " showing this great aptitude for reading which of course reflected so

> well on them. But in hindsight I wanted to be lost...far far away.

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > I read on here one poster saying he created an imaginary world as a

> child and found himself (herself?) trying to escape into TV, etc.

> > >

> > > I REALLY did this as a child. Half my life I was only superficially

> aware of my surroundings, as I created stories about an entire group of

> imaginary characters in my head, based on movies and TV. I knew something

> was " wrong " with me and that other children didn't live this way, but I

> couldn't make myself give it up. I was too unhappy.

> > >

> > > Did anybody else live like this as a kid?

> > >

> > > --.

> > >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

I always had my head in a book or I was creating art, which as I look back at it

was the ONLY beauty I had in my world (except for the beauty I saw at my

godparents' in the summers which was too short and flew by) and nada was off on

her own doing God knows what but I was just glad she was GONE. Of course I had

my 'best friend' that nada chose for me at the age of 8 who was just like nada

and as I look back at it had a lot of the signs of having BPD even at the age of

12 which she was then but this was the only child my mother let me associate

with as I wasn't allowed to pick anything (not even friends) for myself. I

think if it hadn't been for my godparents back then during those summers I would

have went insane, but they taught me a lot of positive things during those years

and showed me the love and affection nada had no clue about how to give. This,

if anything, makes me believe, everything for a reason in life - no coincidences

- even though I learned as an adult that nada and my godfather were having a

love affair for years under his wife's and my father's nose even bringing him

before I was born in to live with us as a boarder. My father never caught on as

he was always working and never went on those vacations with us. My nada never

wanted to take my ha ha best friend and I anywhere except to my godparents' in

Ct. and he had his own beach 13 steps from the ocean on a hill overlooking the

water. It was heaven for a kid. It would be heaven for an adult in a different

way of course but it will always be the best times I remember of my childhood.

[Guest guest]

Girlscout,when I was a kid I thought of myself in the third person too--I was a

" she " in my own mind not an " I " --I felt like I was recording my own experience

like it was a movie.

>

> Ditto. I wanted to write fiction books, and I would write stories in my head

> all day. And I thought in 3rd person instead of 1st.

>

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, , that's weird. Why did we do that. I thought I was writing a

book about myself all the time. . .

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 12:50 PM, christine.depizan <

christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>

> Girlscout,when I was a kid I thought of myself in the third person too--I

> was a " she " in my own mind not an " I " --I felt like I was recording my own

> experience like it was a movie.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Ditto. I wanted to write fiction books, and I would write stories in my

> head

> > all day. And I thought in 3rd person instead of 1st.

> >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

my forgetful heart always softens and I feel the need to be with my mom...until

she disappoints me again. When will I learn reality?

Re: Re: Imaginary world

Yeah, , that's weird. Why did we do that. I thought I was writing a

book about myself all the time. . .

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 12:50 PM, christine.depizan <

christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>

> Girlscout,when I was a kid I thought of myself in the third person too--I

> was a " she " in my own mind not an " I " --I felt like I was recording my own

> experience like it was a movie.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Ditto. I wanted to write fiction books, and I would write stories in my

> head

> > all day. And I thought in 3rd person instead of 1st.

> >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Girlscout,

You might have been trying to give yourself mirroring by writing a

book about yourself all the time,since I guess it's a safe bet you weren't

getting that needed mirroring from your nada.Another thing that might have been

going on is depersonalization.In case you don't know what that is

(depersonalization occurs frequently in children who are emotionally abused):

" Depersonalization is a mental state in which the individual perceives

himself to be detached and physically separated from his own body and his own

mental activities. In this experience the self is felt to be divided into an

observed and an observing self. "

From: http://www.answers.com/topic/depersonalization

>

> Yeah, , that's weird. Why did we do that. I thought I was writing a

> book about myself all the time. . .

[Guest guest]

Whoa - - exactly, depersonalization.

Thank you. You are a doll. This journey to learn about myself seems endless.

Hugs

On Sun, Oct 24, 2010 at 7:17 PM, christine.depizan <

christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>

> Hi Girlscout,

>

> You might have been trying to give yourself mirroring by writing a book

> about yourself all the time,since I guess it's a safe bet you weren't

> getting that needed mirroring from your nada.Another thing that might have

> been going on is depersonalization.In case you don't know what that is

> (depersonalization occurs frequently in children who are emotionally

> abused):

>

> " Depersonalization is a mental state in which the individual perceives

> himself to be detached and physically separated from his own body and his

> own mental activities. In this experience the self is felt to be divided

> into an observed and an observing self. "

>

> From: http://www.answers.com/topic/depersonalization

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Yeah, , that's weird. Why did we do that. I thought I was

> writing a

> > book about myself all the time. . .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Great suggestion and also, to add, check out " Dissociation " - very common with

BP's and googling that will help you understand the process of the BP's not

hearing or feeling concern.

I have 1,000 + situations where I can remember talking to my BP and she would

just be smoking a cigarette.. planning dinner or something.. as I pour out hate,

anger, sadness, even happiness!.. etc to her... she just " Dissociated " .. that's

what she had to do to deal with her childhood.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Sun, October 24, 2010 9:17:36 PM

Subject: Re: Imaginary world

 

Hi Girlscout,

You might have been trying to give yourself mirroring by writing a book about

yourself all the time,since I guess it's a safe bet you weren't getting that

needed mirroring from your nada.Another thing that might have been going on is

depersonalization.In case you don't know what that is (depersonalization occurs

frequently in children who are emotionally abused):

" Depersonalization is a mental state in which the individual perceives himself

to be detached and physically separated from his own body and his own mental

activities. In this experience the self is felt to be divided into an observed

and an observing self. "

From: http://www.answers.com/topic/depersonalization