Challenging couple of days

[Guest guest]

It seems to me that feeling good about my body and feeling good about myself can

be just as much a challenge for me as feeling crappy.

A few nights ago I was feeling very good physically. I could tell that I had

been listening to my internal cues and responding accordingly because I felt

comfortable in my own body. I had no feelings of over fullness or heavyness or

my clothes being to tight.

Well I am not sure what happened but I began to feel scared that I wouldn't be

able to keep feeling this way. And then the next day I had issues with my

neighbor come up. I didn't realize it until later in the day but I overate at

each meal that day, not excessively but eating past the point of satisfaction so

therefore eating for some other reason than hunger. When this happens for me I

lose touch with what my body is telling me and then instead of knowing that I

ate plenty earlier and that is the reason that I am not as hungry as I normally

am for dinner I get stressed out and try to force myself to eat dinner anyway.

Then my body starts feeling heavy, my clothes feel tight around my stomach and I

swear I can feel my inner thighs getting bigger.

This continued into breakfast yesterday morning where I didn't feel very hungry

but I wanted to eat my usual large bowl of cereal anyway. And as I was eating

the cereal I could tell that my body didn't need more than a few bites but then

my head goes, " but I want it anyway " and I ignore what my body is telling me.

Then as a result my body feels larger, I feel heavier, my clothes feel tighter,

and I feel lethargic.

So as I was going through the rest of my day I really just tried to be present

in my body no matter how uncomfortable it was for me. I went to the gym like

usual, and after the gym I wasn't hungry for lunch like I would usually be so I

ate a little bit of mango I brought with me and stopped shortly after being

satisfied. This was hard for me, I get so caught up in how I " normally eat "

such as a large lunch after working out, it is hard for me to listen to my body

that is telling me I don't need that much food at this particular time. Matter

of fact I didn't even get hungry until much later in the afternoon. And then

for dinner where I usually won't eat carbs because that is one of my old rules,

I wanted some of the pasta I had made for the rest of the family. So I ate it

and the rest of my meal really focusing on what my body was telling me. I

stopped when I was satisfied and I felt really good last night and I feel good

this morning, not heavy.

I had some great success with IE a few years ago and then over the last two

years I have somehow developed a whole new set of " rules " that has removed me

bit by bit from being connected to my internal signals. I am just now over the

last month or so trying to let go of those " rules " and reconnect with my body.

The last few days could have thrown me into depression and even more emotional

eating. Instead I was able to stay present and learn something about myself.

Thank you everyone for providing a place for me to talk about this stuff.

Tana