Cookie Diet

[Guest guest]

Hi, Ellen,

Being aware of what's happening in your corner of the overeating world is a huge step, so a big congrats to you for that! I think having a sense of humor is also a good thing. So your calling your pattern "the BBQ syndrome" is a good sign, I think. You're beginning to step outside of it.

One IE book I'm reading calls this kind of eating "Last Supper Eating"--another funny phrase, and something that can maybe stick with me to help me realize when I'm overeating because I'm afraid I won't be able to "have this food" again anytime soon (a ridiculous notion in this land of too-much-plenty!). I had an incident in the Target just before Christmas when I decided, for the first year ever, not to buy the Brach's peppermint taffy (the kind with the deep green Christmas tree in the center) because I knew I could not eat them except obsessively. I had no IE tools then to be able not to overeat, so my only choice was not to buy them. I had a little-kid fit, all to myself, stomping around the Target, feeling sorry for myself! I finally started chuckling at myself--I mean, really! a woman nearly 60 doing this silly thing over some taffies!--and I realized that Christmas was not just about taffies, but being with my family and sharing love. My goal for the upcoming Christmas with IE is that I can have all that, and a few taffies (if I want them), too!

I don't know if there's any way other than stepping back from overeating food to give yourself perspective (and like Geneen Roth says, wondering about all that comes up from that, or from the overeating), but that's what I did, and doing it with some gentle humor about myself helps me avoid feeling deprived. I don't know what makes it possible to stop eating when I'm full, besides relentless awareness, but I do know that it is a long process, and not always fun or funny, so I'll take all the humor I can wrangle! It's a process that has me feeling a lot of feelings I otherwise would have been too food-numb to feel, so it is not easy.

Laurie

Ellen wrote:

>>>What you wrote about the cookie diet was hysterical. There is no end to diets and deprivation, and the mad (non-)thinking that goes into them.

I've got the BBQ syndrome, in which I watch my husband and daughter pack it away and think I can move my bar just a little, which makes me eat more than I'm comfortable with, and possibly go on for more. I love reading when people on this network have truly managed to tune into their real needs and desires, and secretly wonder if I ever will. My book club is meeting Friday and we have good cooks and great food along with our discussions. This week it's BBQ. I notice my husband and I are the ones to take bigger portions and sometimes seconds. I know I feel, When am I going to get this again? as I dig in for more. The other people in the group love food, but take smaller portions and rarely seconds. I try it and feel deprived. Well that makes me feel sad writing it, so that's a good thing to look at. For special occasions, it seems that overeating is my way to make it special. I grew up in a culture where that is indeed the measure, so that's a big message to undo. There must be another occasion out there to enjoy down the road!<<<