Re: great book I have read

[Guest guest]

Hugs to you Kazam!

Deanna

>

> Hi All,

> Would love to share a book that has helped me. I have been NC for 9 months

now and never been happier in my life. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I

haven't thought about Nada or been on this chat group for ages. When first

going NC I spent every waking minute thinking about it all and grieving in the

process.

> So there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

> I started reading books on letting go and forgiveness but they never really

sat with me.

> The book I found helpful is called " How Can I Forgive You " The courage to

Forgive and the Freedom not to. Janis Abrahms Spring Phd.

>

> The book focuses on Acceptance and this concept sat better with me in my

healing than total forgiveness.

> Here is just a few points from the book to share with you all on your healing

journey.

>

> *Allow yourself to honor all that you feel to your paren't behaviour.

> *Grieve

> *Recognise what it is about your paren't behaviour that led them to act this

way.

> *Give up expecting or yearning for anything from them and more than they can

give you.

> *Be unwilling to pretend their rigid behaviour didn't matter.

> *Be Unwilling to spend your life in conflict with them refusing to succumb to

Not Forgiving.

> *Work at limiting your preoccuptation with how they hurt you

> *Reach out to others who make you feel loved and respected.

> *Give up your need to forgive your parents and arrive at the self-affirming

position of ACCCEPTANCE.

> *Let go and move on.

>

> I hope you all find peace and move forward with all the positives in our life.

> This is not a dress rehersal. Nada has already robbed me of sooooo much

precious time. For me it was a decision to not allow her to take up anymore of

my wasted energy. She was physically out of my life but not mentally. It was

hard work to do the last bit but it is happening with efforts of retraining

myself and my thoughts and responses. Making sure I am around happy positive

people and having fun instead of talking about the past hurts. I place a bubble

around me for self protection from negativity or just walk away whe I feel any

triggers. Soemetimes when someone is pushing my buttons I sing the national

anthem in my head. ha ha.

> Planning for tomorrow and all the goodness there is to be experienced.

Enjoying my wonderful husband and daughter.

> Don't give up we deserve happiness.

> I also pray everday for strength and getting on with job God intended for me.

> Love to all

> Kazam

>

[Guest guest]

amen!!  good luck on your journey..

Subject: great book I have read

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Tuesday, November 2, 2010, 6:09 PM

 

Hi All,

Would love to share a book that has helped me. I have been NC for 9 months now

and never been happier in my life. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I

haven't thought about Nada or been on this chat group for ages. When first

going NC I spent every waking minute thinking about it all and grieving in the

process.

So there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I started reading books on letting go and forgiveness but they never really sat

with me.

The book I found helpful is called " How Can I Forgive You " The courage to

Forgive and the Freedom not to. Janis Abrahms Spring Phd.

The book focuses on Acceptance and this concept sat better with me in my healing

than total forgiveness.

Here is just a few points from the book to share with you all on your healing

journey.

*Allow yourself to honor all that you feel to your paren't behaviour.

*Grieve

*Recognise what it is about your paren't behaviour that led them to act this

way.

*Give up expecting or yearning for anything from them and more than they can

give you.

*Be unwilling to pretend their rigid behaviour didn't matter.

*Be Unwilling to spend your life in conflict with them refusing to succumb to

Not Forgiving.

*Work at limiting your preoccuptation with how they hurt you

*Reach out to others who make you feel loved and respected.

*Give up your need to forgive your parents and arrive at the self-affirming

position of ACCCEPTANCE.

*Let go and move on.

I hope you all find peace and move forward with all the positives in our life.

This is not a dress rehersal. Nada has already robbed me of sooooo much precious

time. For me it was a decision to not allow her to take up anymore of my wasted

energy. She was physically out of my life but not mentally. It was hard work

to do the last bit but it is happening with efforts of retraining myself and my

thoughts and responses. Making sure I am around happy positive people and

having fun instead of talking about the past hurts. I place a bubble around me

for self protection from negativity or just walk away whe I feel any triggers.

Soemetimes when someone is pushing my buttons I sing the national anthem in my

head. ha ha.

Planning for tomorrow and all the goodness there is to be experienced. Enjoying

my wonderful husband and daughter.

Don't give up we deserve happiness.

I also pray everday for strength and getting on with job God intended for me.

Love to all

Kazam