Hey there: Bruce, I know that my past in the 50's and 60's was

[Guest guest]

very unhappy Bruce. Not too many happy times for me. Working on a

farm like a slave lifting 50lb bales of hay onto a hayrake in 102

deg. in South Dakota, driving a Deere tractor, mowing aphalfa

fields, 17 acres at a time, milking cows, helping to slaughter pigs

in troughs of hot boiling water (yukkies) hee, egg candleing, you

name it, I did it. Wasn't allowed to date, ever, go to town ever,

have friends, ever, got slapped around in the face by my Mom,

forever. She could never understand how much I loved being in the

fields with my Dad. He was a great chemist in NYC for 30 yrs. and

had to go to SD because of his health. Anyhow, What I am trying to

say Bruce is,

I had a stinkin' high school years, 1949-1952, then on to college in

the Black Hills of SD in the fall of that year. I was scared to

death as I did not know how to take care of myself. Talk about

scared!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never got to experience the 50's and 60's as I should have, got

married at 19, (didn't know much) very nieve, took care for years of

my invalid Mother-in-law (who was a peach of a woman) had rheumatoid

arthritis and a real real real bed patient. I had a husband who was

constantly cheating on me during all those years and so my memories

of those sweet years could have been sweet, but Bruce they were, like

you said sad for me too.

I can relate to you Bruce. One of the biggest mistakes I made was

not sticking up for myself when I was emotionally abused.

I see fun things on websites that I feel in my heart could make some

of the folks on here happy and according to most folks, those were

happy times for them, not for me at all, Dear, but for them. I was

not thinking of myself one tiny bit.

I spend all my days on the computer thinking of ways to make the

people on here smile or try to inspire them, or encourage them with

ecards and pretty pictures and such and things that are beautiful in

life. Guess as kids, you and I would have made a pair.

Talk to you later,

Love, Lou

IPF '02

[Guest guest]

Lou

So, ultimately the " good old days " may not have been as good as we wish

and the " future " may have more promise than we might think. Mainly, we

can just try to enjoy the present. Maybe the cards or funny web sites or

communicating with friends online doesn't sound so exciting to some but

I think of it as pretty nice.

I always have other inspirations when I think about the ultimate decline

and hospice days even. Vicky is surely one. She doesn't hide from the

realities but I get a lot of comfort in seeing how she is dealing with

what I know is my probable future. She's finding ways to enjoy, to

contribute, to share. I know listening to her may scare some, but it

gives me tremendous comfort. I just recommit myself when I see those

like Vicky and Joyce and Gwynne and so many others here to having the

attitudes they have and strength to deal with whatever comes.

>

> very unhappy Bruce. Not too many happy times for me. Working on a

> farm like a slave lifting 50lb bales of hay onto a hayrake in 102

> deg. in South Dakota, driving a Deere tractor, mowing aphalfa

> fields, 17 acres at a time, milking cows, helping to slaughter pigs

> in troughs of hot boiling water (yukkies) hee, egg candleing, you

> name it, I did it. Wasn't allowed to date, ever, go to town ever,

> have friends, ever, got slapped around in the face by my Mom,

> forever. She could never understand how much I loved being in the

> fields with my Dad. He was a great chemist in NYC for 30 yrs. and

> had to go to SD because of his health. Anyhow, What I am trying to

> say Bruce is,

>

> I had a stinkin' high school years, 1949-1952, then on to college in

> the Black Hills of SD in the fall of that year. I was scared to

> death as I did not know how to take care of myself. Talk about

> scared!!!!!!!!!!!!

>

> I never got to experience the 50's and 60's as I should have, got

> married at 19, (didn't know much) very nieve, took care for years of

> my invalid Mother-in-law (who was a peach of a woman) had rheumatoid

> arthritis and a real real real bed patient. I had a husband who was

> constantly cheating on me during all those years and so my memories

> of those sweet years could have been sweet, but Bruce they were, like

> you said sad for me too.

>

> I can relate to you Bruce. One of the biggest mistakes I made was

> not sticking up for myself when I was emotionally abused.

>

> I see fun things on websites that I feel in my heart could make some

> of the folks on here happy and according to most folks, those were

> happy times for them, not for me at all, Dear, but for them. I was

> not thinking of myself one tiny bit.

>

> I spend all my days on the computer thinking of ways to make the

> people on here smile or try to inspire them, or encourage them with

> ecards and pretty pictures and such and things that are beautiful in

> life. Guess as kids, you and I would have made a pair.

>

> Talk to you later,

> Love, Lou

> IPF '02

>