Leaving

[Guest guest]

I've never joined a support group before, but I just started reading " Stop

Walking On Eggshells " and thought this group would be helpful. From the outside

I look like a very together individual; I am 24 and already have a Masters

Degree. Of course my education is in Psychology and Counseling so I could try

to figure myself and my family out. But on the inside I am hurting and many

times feel like a child.

My parents are divorced and I was raise by my mother and step-dad (and saw my

father summers). When I was a freshman in high school (around 14 or 15) my

English teacher was studying to be a counselor and needed someone to talk for an

hour about a problem so she could tape in for her class. Well, I did, the

teacher got social services involved, and one day when I got out of school my

mom was there and all of my stuff was packed in the car. I remember it was

raining that day, and I ran to a friend's house and tried to hide… I only got to

say bye to 3 friends. She drove me to my father's house (4 hours away) and left

me. She didn't speak to me for years except to write me letters telling me how

evil I was and how I tried to ruin her life. About a year ago I finally got up

the courage to throw all that mail away. She called when I was a freshman in

college and for the next few years I saw her about once a year for dinner while

she was driving through to her dad's house for Christmas. My friends always

thought it was strange I had so little contact with my mom, when they are all

close with theirs. I wanted to have a closer relationship, I longed for my

mommy but she didn't give me that option. She has lived far away, until

recently she sent me a text that she was packing. I finally got it out of her

that she was moving 3 hours away, I was so excited and hoping I could see her

more, I mean I could drive up every weekend (though I was also hurt she didn't

tell me she was moving). She then didn't talk to me for the next month. When I

finally got ahold of her I talked for awhile then asked if I would be invited

to her home. She said since I don't like her husband (who is in Iraq for the

next year), that would just be weird, so no. Again I felt very hurt and

depressed. I was so excited my mom was close, I could drive to see her, but she

won't tell me her address and doesn't want me there. Then she stopped wanting

to talk on the phone, said she could only text (which I hate) because the volume

on her cell didn't work. I asked if she had a home phone and she said she did

but was running out the door, and again never gave it to me. Again I felt hurt,

now I can't have her address or phone number, my only means of communication is

texting!? My therapist and friends all agreed I should stop communicating with

my mother for my mental health, but this is hard because she is still my mother.

Also books I read agreed that was the best option. Plus at this point I felt

she didn't leave me much choice since she wouldn't talk to me on the phone and I

couldn't visit her and texting isn't my idea of having a relationship. So I

joined this support group because right now I need support. My boyfriend is

very supportive but he grew up in the perfect home so he doesn't always

understand how I am feeling. Friends and family also don't quite understand

being that they all have good or at least normal relationships with their

parents. So I am hoping this group will help me heal and become healthier.