Bpd grandnada traumatizes 6- and 8-year-old grandkids

[Guest guest]

I picked this up from another support group for the adult children of bpd

parents; its a good illustration of what can happen to young children in the

care of a personality-disordered grandparent (or other mentally ill adult.)

" My uBPD mother is really weird around my kids. She acts cold toward them, and

then treats them like they are bad kids because they don't run into her arms

yelling " Grandma " !! She rarely remembers their birthdays, doesn't come to school

functions. She NEVER calls them.

This summer my mother asked me for the very first time if the kids could come

for an extended visit (I'm talking 2 nights). My kids are 6 and 8. I knew that

my step-dad was going to be home with her, and my sister was next door with her

husband so I wasn't too worried.

On Sunday evening, my mom brought my kids back to my house (they live about an

hour away) and told me that there had been an " incident " with my 8 year old and

she was forced to spank her. What the hell?? I have never spanked my 8 year

old because she is very shy and quiet and that would kill her little spirit.

Also, I see NO REASON to spank a child that age.

After my mom left, my children crawled up in my lap and told me horrible stories

about what had happened to them over the weekend for nearly 2 hours. I was

crying and totally horrified that I had subjected my kids to that.

And that was it. I have been NC with my mom since then. I know what I have

suffered at her hands, that is not my fault. But if I allow her to do it to my

kids then IT IS MY FAULT. My children will never see her again if I have

anything to do with it.

Please protect your children from the hurt and pain that we all have in our

pasts!

marie "

***

The point I wanted to make with this is that *even though* a non-pd granddad was

right there in the house, and *even though* a non-pd relative was right next

door, and *even though* the visit was only for two nights, the little 8 year old

girl and the little 6 year old boy were still completely vulnerable to

mistreatment, and their unstable, volatile bpd-grandmother apparently became

irritated/enraged with the granddaughter enough to physically assault the little

girl and emotionally traumatize both children.

For two freaking days.

(Striking another person is criminal assault and battery, when its

adult-on-adult. I personally think that children should have the same civil

rights as adults in this regard.)

There are plenty of similar stories in earlier posts at this Group, about how

the bpd grandmother mistreated her grandchildren whenever she was alone with

them.

It makes for very sobering and enlightening reading.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this reminder. I will protect my boys from now on. Will. not.

happen. again.

>

> I picked this up from another support group for the adult children of bpd

parents; its a good illustration of what can happen to young children in the

care of a personality-disordered grandparent (or other mentally ill adult.)

>

> " My uBPD mother is really weird around my kids. She acts cold toward them,

and then treats them like they are bad kids because they don't run into her arms

yelling " Grandma " !! She rarely remembers their birthdays, doesn't come to school

functions. She NEVER calls them.

>

> This summer my mother asked me for the very first time if the kids could come

for an extended visit (I'm talking 2 nights). My kids are 6 and 8. I knew that

my step-dad was going to be home with her, and my sister was next door with her

husband so I wasn't too worried.

>

> On Sunday evening, my mom brought my kids back to my house (they live about an

hour away) and told me that there had been an " incident " with my 8 year old and

she was forced to spank her. What the hell?? I have never spanked my 8 year

old because she is very shy and quiet and that would kill her little spirit.

Also, I see NO REASON to spank a child that age.

>

> After my mom left, my children crawled up in my lap and told me horrible

stories about what had happened to them over the weekend for nearly 2 hours. I

was crying and totally horrified that I had subjected my kids to that.

>

> And that was it. I have been NC with my mom since then. I know what I have

suffered at her hands, that is not my fault. But if I allow her to do it to my

kids then IT IS MY FAULT. My children will never see her again if I have

anything to do with it.

>

> Please protect your children from the hurt and pain that we all have in our

pasts!

>

> marie "

>

> ***

>

> The point I wanted to make with this is that *even though* a non-pd granddad

was right there in the house, and *even though* a non-pd relative was right next

door, and *even though* the visit was only for two nights, the little 8 year old

girl and the little 6 year old boy were still completely vulnerable to

mistreatment, and their unstable, volatile bpd-grandmother apparently became

irritated/enraged with the granddaughter enough to physically assault the little

girl and emotionally traumatize both children.

>

> For two freaking days.

>

> (Striking another person is criminal assault and battery, when its

adult-on-adult. I personally think that children should have the same civil

rights as adults in this regard.)

>

> There are plenty of similar stories in earlier posts at this Group, about how

the bpd grandmother mistreated her grandchildren whenever she was alone with

them.

>

> It makes for very sobering and enlightening reading.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

That grandmother sounds something like my mother, esp the part about if they

don't run into her arms yelling, she gets offended. Mine does remember

birthdays, but she doesn't call them--which is fine with me!

even as I write this, I feel that constriction in my chest when we visit her and

I tell my kids, " be sure to be nice to grandma; you know how she gets... "

and it's so painful to hear my older daughter see my mother as she is:

self-absorbed and uninterested in anything that doesn't involve telling her to

be careful.

>

> I picked this up from another support group for the adult children of bpd

parents; its a good illustration of what can happen to young children in the

care of a personality-disordered grandparent (or other mentally ill adult.)

>

> " My uBPD mother is really weird around my kids. She acts cold toward them,

and then treats them like they are bad kids because they don't run into her arms

yelling " Grandma " !! She rarely remembers their birthdays, doesn't come to school

functions. She NEVER calls them.

>

> This summer my mother asked me for the very first time if the kids could come

for an extended visit (I'm talking 2 nights). My kids are 6 and 8. I knew that

my step-dad was going to be home with her, and my sister was next door with her

husband so I wasn't too worried.

>

> On Sunday evening, my mom brought my kids back to my house (they live about an

hour away) and told me that there had been an " incident " with my 8 year old and

she was forced to spank her. What the hell?? I have never spanked my 8 year

old because she is very shy and quiet and that would kill her little spirit.

Also, I see NO REASON to spank a child that age.

>

> After my mom left, my children crawled up in my lap and told me horrible

stories about what had happened to them over the weekend for nearly 2 hours. I

was crying and totally horrified that I had subjected my kids to that.

>

> And that was it. I have been NC with my mom since then. I know what I have

suffered at her hands, that is not my fault. But if I allow her to do it to my

kids then IT IS MY FAULT. My children will never see her again if I have

anything to do with it.

>

> Please protect your children from the hurt and pain that we all have in our

pasts!

>

> marie "

>

> ***

>

> The point I wanted to make with this is that *even though* a non-pd granddad

was right there in the house, and *even though* a non-pd relative was right next

door, and *even though* the visit was only for two nights, the little 8 year old

girl and the little 6 year old boy were still completely vulnerable to

mistreatment, and their unstable, volatile bpd-grandmother apparently became

irritated/enraged with the granddaughter enough to physically assault the little

girl and emotionally traumatize both children.

>

> For two freaking days.

>

> (Striking another person is criminal assault and battery, when its

adult-on-adult. I personally think that children should have the same civil

rights as adults in this regard.)

>

> There are plenty of similar stories in earlier posts at this Group, about how

the bpd grandmother mistreated her grandchildren whenever she was alone with

them.

>

> It makes for very sobering and enlightening reading.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you. I just joined this group, because I decided a couple months ago to

cut off my BL mom. She got very mad at me because I don't leave my children with

her, and became (once again) abusive to me over it. I am feeling a lot of guilt

about this cut off, and learning to deal with my feelings about my life with

her. But this post reminds me that I am, and have been, right to be protective

of my children when it comes to my mom. (And really, part of protecting them,

means also protecting myself).

I am so happy nothing like this ever happened to them, because it could have had

I not been as careful. My mother and my grandmother have/had this disorder, and

I could not get away from the abuse. It might be hard now, but you remind me

this is for teh best now.

> >

> > I picked this up from another support group for the adult children of bpd

parents; its a good illustration of what can happen to young children in the

care of a personality-disordered grandparent (or other mentally ill adult.)

> >

> > " My uBPD mother is really weird around my kids. She acts cold toward them,

and then treats them like they are bad kids because they don't run into her arms

yelling " Grandma " !! She rarely remembers their birthdays, doesn't come to school

functions. She NEVER calls them.

> >

> > This summer my mother asked me for the very first time if the kids could

come for an extended visit (I'm talking 2 nights). My kids are 6 and 8. I knew

that my step-dad was going to be home with her, and my sister was next door with

her husband so I wasn't too worried.

> >

> > On Sunday evening, my mom brought my kids back to my house (they live about

an hour away) and told me that there had been an " incident " with my 8 year old

and she was forced to spank her. What the hell?? I have never spanked my 8

year old because she is very shy and quiet and that would kill her little

spirit. Also, I see NO REASON to spank a child that age.

> >

> > After my mom left, my children crawled up in my lap and told me horrible

stories about what had happened to them over the weekend for nearly 2 hours. I

was crying and totally horrified that I had subjected my kids to that.

> >

> > And that was it. I have been NC with my mom since then. I know what I have

suffered at her hands, that is not my fault. But if I allow her to do it to my

kids then IT IS MY FAULT. My children will never see her again if I have

anything to do with it.

> >

> > Please protect your children from the hurt and pain that we all have in our

pasts!

> >

> > marie "

> >

> > ***

> >

> > The point I wanted to make with this is that *even though* a non-pd granddad

was right there in the house, and *even though* a non-pd relative was right next

door, and *even though* the visit was only for two nights, the little 8 year old

girl and the little 6 year old boy were still completely vulnerable to

mistreatment, and their unstable, volatile bpd-grandmother apparently became

irritated/enraged with the granddaughter enough to physically assault the little

girl and emotionally traumatize both children.

> >

> > For two freaking days.

> >

> > (Striking another person is criminal assault and battery, when its

adult-on-adult. I personally think that children should have the same civil

rights as adults in this regard.)

> >

> > There are plenty of similar stories in earlier posts at this Group, about

how the bpd grandmother mistreated her grandchildren whenever she was alone with

them.

> >

> > It makes for very sobering and enlightening reading.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>