feeling a bit stronger...visiting FOO

[Guest guest]

I am writing this in a cheap hotel room...thanks to this group I have been brave

enough to book this room and visit FOO without the gut wrenching fear of running

into nada while I am here. This is after over a year of NC with nada and LC with

Dad and sister, discovering BPD and realising this is my mother just a few weeks

ago and then finding this group has made me stronger.

I have not seen nada so far and will not try to, however my sister and dad got

in touch with me yesterday and came to meet me when I was visiting my grandma, I

am so happy about this. During the visit nada did try to interfere by calling my

sister with some urgent nonsense which meant my dad had to go but HE VISITED ME!

He did say I could go and stay with them, which makes no sense as nada banned me

from their house! I have been ignoring any nada references and enjoying having

my family with me, part of me knows it is just playing at happy families but

after the year I have had I am going to enjoy the couple of days I have left.

This is really a pointless post I guess but I wanted to tell every single one of

you that this group has been so good for me, I may not visit a lot or post often

but it is good to feel I am not alone.

Thank you.

Free x

[Guest guest]

Hello Free x-

I totally understand your joy to have found this group!

Welcome here!

I dont think your post is useless at all, I think the more voices we put out

there, the better.

God knows my voice has been shut down for too long.

I am sorry about your Mother, and the crap you seem to have gone through

already.

It looks like you have taken some really strong steps to protect yourself from

her, I think it is commendable.

I can understand the feeling of " playing the happy family " , but maybe it feels

artificial because it is new. Maybe no drama is unfamiliar and it feels like

acting?... I don't know, I am just guessing.

In any case, it sounds like a success on your part.

Good luck to you Free x.

Coralie

[Guest guest]

((((((((((Free x)))))))))))

Sharing your joy with us here is not pointless, its very kind and thoughtful of

you. I'm so happy for you that you got to see your dad, sister and grandmother

after a long spell of low contact. I realize what kind of courage it took for

you to arrange that, and I'm glad its going well. Don't worry about how often

you post here, or if you choose to " graduate " that's OK too. Its all about

what's best for each of us as individuals, now.

best wishes,

-Annie

>

> I am writing this in a cheap hotel room...thanks to this group I have been

brave enough to book this room and visit FOO without the gut wrenching fear of

running into nada while I am here. This is after over a year of NC with nada and

LC with Dad and sister, discovering BPD and realising this is my mother just a

few weeks ago and then finding this group has made me stronger.

>

> I have not seen nada so far and will not try to, however my sister and dad got

in touch with me yesterday and came to meet me when I was visiting my grandma, I

am so happy about this. During the visit nada did try to interfere by calling my

sister with some urgent nonsense which meant my dad had to go but HE VISITED ME!

He did say I could go and stay with them, which makes no sense as nada banned me

from their house! I have been ignoring any nada references and enjoying having

my family with me, part of me knows it is just playing at happy families but

after the year I have had I am going to enjoy the couple of days I have left.

>

> This is really a pointless post I guess but I wanted to tell every single one

of you that this group has been so good for me, I may not visit a lot or post

often but it is good to feel I am not alone.

> Thank you.

> Free x

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Coralie, thank you, you are right. I hadn't though of that. I was feeling

weird...no drama and I am not on edge trying to work out ways to keep everything

cheerful, it just is. This must be how normal people feel when they visit their

family.

I am not going to read so much into it all and just enjoy it.

>

>

> Hello Free x-

> I totally understand your joy to have found this group!

> Welcome here!

> I dont think your post is useless at all, I think the more voices we put out

there, the better.

> God knows my voice has been shut down for too long.

> I am sorry about your Mother, and the crap you seem to have gone through

already.

> It looks like you have taken some really strong steps to protect yourself from

her, I think it is commendable.

> I can understand the feeling of " playing the happy family " , but maybe it feels

artificial because it is new. Maybe no drama is unfamiliar and it feels like

acting?... I don't know, I am just guessing.

> In any case, it sounds like a success on your part.

> Good luck to you Free x.

> Coralie

>

[Guest guest]

Definitely enjoy it. When I came to the US, that is when I develop some PTSD

systoms around my BF. I felt like it was too good, too peaceful, too easy.

I was ready for the next crisis, and it failed to materialize. It is so hard to

take these walls down sometimes.

Coralie