Re: Crying and healing

[Guest guest]

,

I cry too, alot. Have for years! Mostly over the lost years spent

thinking I was loved, and finding out that it wasn't love at all. Being

brought

up by sick and/or disfunctional parents is not a childs' fault. Nor can a

child distinguish between what is normal and what isn't. I'm 56 yrs. old,

and it's still a hard pill to swallow.

Hang in there; you're beautiful! Keep healing. It's not your fault.

Laurie

In a message dated 10/17/2010 2:20:00 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

clairenewton49@... writes:

Hi All,

Thanks for your replies to my previous post " why mom " . I just needed a

bit of

reassurance, I have reached the stage in my healing journey where I feel

deep

deep sadness for my lost childhood and my little girl within me.

I just cannot seem to stop crying, I picture myself as a beautiful little

girl

cuddling my glow worm, and it makes me cry. All the memories are flooding

back

to me now about how awful my childhood really was, and I just cry and cry

and

cry.

My therapist says that this is great progress and it means I am finally

feeling

safe enough to release my past and heal, is this right?

I have never in my life cried like this and it feels a bit overwhelming, i

am

scared it could be depression, but have been told that when people suffer

depression they are totally numb to all emotions, and I can relate to that

as

for many years I was very very numb......advice needed please as I am

scared I

wont get through this deep sadness.

Many Thanks

xx

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Guest guest]

(((((((((()))))))))

It is a cleansing and healing rainstorm, and it will not last forever.

When we were little, we had to escape into denial and numbing of our emotions

just to survive. It was dangerous to express our true feelings around our

mentally ill parents; saying things like " I feel sad " , " I feel scared " I feel

angry " , or expressing a need of some kind, etc., would likely get us screamed

at, punished, humiliated and shamed, or even brutalized.

So, what this is about is that you feel safe enough now to actually express the

sadness you weren't allow to express as a little one.

It is scary to go to that place of real, true, deep feelings, particularly the

negative feelings. But its safe now, and you can pass through them and come out

whole and well on the other side.

-Annie

>

> Hi All,

>

> Thanks for your replies to my previous post " why mom " .  I just needed a bit of

> reassurance, I have reached the stage in my healing journey where I feel deep

> deep sadness for my lost childhood and my little girl within me.

>

> I just cannot seem to stop crying, I picture myself as a beautiful little girl

> cuddling my glow worm, and it makes me cry.  All the memories are flooding

back

> to me now about how awful my childhood really was, and I just cry and cry and

> cry.

>

> My therapist says that this is great progress and it means I am finally

feeling

> safe enough to release my past and heal, is this right?

>

> I have never in my life cried like this and it feels a bit overwhelming, i am

> scared it could be depression, but have been told that when people suffer

> depression they are totally numb to all emotions, and I can relate to that as

> for many years I was very very numb......advice needed please as I am scared I

> wont get through this deep sadness.

>

> Many Thanks

>

> xx

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

yes claire, i agree with your therapist, this is a great step forward for your

healing to be able to cry and grieve your past.. i too grieve and cry and i feel

it is healing work and helping me to progress.. the pent up emotion does make it

feel as tho it might never stop, but as you allow yourself to feel and to cry

the emotion will lessen with time.. i have found that to be so. congratulations

on achieving this stage of growth and healing on your journey towards becoming

the person you were mean to be.

ann

Subject: Crying and healing

To: WTOAdultChildren1 , AbusedSurvivors

Date: Sunday, October 17, 2010, 1:19 PM

 

Hi All,

Thanks for your replies to my previous post " why mom " .  I just needed a bit of

reassurance, I have reached the stage in my healing journey where I feel deep

deep sadness for my lost childhood and my little girl within me.

I just cannot seem to stop crying, I picture myself as a beautiful little girl

cuddling my glow worm, and it makes me cry.  All the memories are flooding back

to me now about how awful my childhood really was, and I just cry and cry and

cry.

My therapist says that this is great progress and it means I am finally feeling

safe enough to release my past and heal, is this right?

I have never in my life cried like this and it feels a bit overwhelming, i am

scared it could be depression, but have been told that when people suffer

depression they are totally numb to all emotions, and I can relate to that as

for many years I was very very numb......advice needed please as I am scared I

wont get through this deep sadness.

Many Thanks

xx

[Guest guest]

Therapy did this to me as well. It took a long time for me to grieve my lost

childhood, in fact I still grieve. I had one therapist who told me that when I'm

feeling insecure or unloved, that to mentally hug my 3 yo self who was not

properly loved. Thinking about that poor 3 yo self needing hugs still brings me

to tears, and hugging that version of me internally is still a healing method I

use.

Grieving over anything is a process, and I think with time you will get to the

next step and you will feel less sad.

Casey

>

> Hi All,

>

> Thanks for your replies to my previous post " why mom " .  I just needed a bit of

> reassurance, I have reached the stage in my healing journey where I feel deep

> deep sadness for my lost childhood and my little girl within me.

>

> I just cannot seem to stop crying, I picture myself as a beautiful little girl

> cuddling my glow worm, and it makes me cry.  All the memories are flooding

back

> to me now about how awful my childhood really was, and I just cry and cry and

> cry.

>

> My therapist says that this is great progress and it means I am finally

feeling

> safe enough to release my past and heal, is this right?

>

> I have never in my life cried like this and it feels a bit overwhelming, i am

> scared it could be depression, but have been told that when people suffer

> depression they are totally numb to all emotions, and I can relate to that as

> for many years I was very very numb......advice needed please as I am scared I

> wont get through this deep sadness.

>

> Many Thanks

>

> xx

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I think you are right that depression is numb, and not a great place to be.

That you are crying and FEELING your feelings means you are healing, and alive,

and growing and changing.

Keep growing, it is what it is. At least you know what true love for that

little child could have been, which means you will move towards more love in

your life now.

Walked to Happiness

>

> Hi All,

>

> Thanks for your replies to my previous post " why mom " .  I just needed a bit of

> reassurance, I have reached the stage in my healing journey where I feel deep

> deep sadness for my lost childhood and my little girl within me.

>

> I just cannot seem to stop crying, I picture myself as a beautiful little girl

> cuddling my glow worm, and it makes me cry.  All the memories are flooding

back

> to me now about how awful my childhood really was, and I just cry and cry and

> cry.

>

> My therapist says that this is great progress and it means I am finally

feeling

> safe enough to release my past and heal, is this right?

>

> I have never in my life cried like this and it feels a bit overwhelming, i am

> scared it could be depression, but have been told that when people suffer

> depression they are totally numb to all emotions, and I can relate to that as

> for many years I was very very numb......advice needed please as I am scared I

> wont get through this deep sadness.

>

> Many Thanks

>

> xx

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, I'm with walkingtohappiness on this one.

Yes, the sadness hurts, but think of it as growing pains, or even like the

setting of a broken bone. It has to hurt, and I'm not sure why. Maybe to make

enough of an impression on us so that we don't repeat the same actions.

You will get through this too. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And

emotionally, I think we KOs are herculean.

Hugs. I'm standing by you.

Tina

> >

> > Hi All,

> >

> > Thanks for your replies to my previous post " why mom " . I just needed a bit

of

> > reassurance, I have reached the stage in my healing journey where I feel

deep

> > deep sadness for my lost childhood and my little girl within me.

> >

> > I just cannot seem to stop crying, I picture myself as a beautiful little

girl

> > cuddling my glow worm, and it makes me cry. All the memories are flooding

back

> > to me now about how awful my childhood really was, and I just cry and cry

and

> > cry.

> >

> > My therapist says that this is great progress and it means I am finally

feeling

> > safe enough to release my past and heal, is this right?

> >

> > I have never in my life cried like this and it feels a bit overwhelming, i

am

> > scared it could be depression, but have been told that when people suffer

> > depression they are totally numb to all emotions, and I can relate to that

as

> > for many years I was very very numb......advice needed please as I am scared

I

> > wont get through this deep sadness.

> >

> > Many Thanks

> >

> > xx

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >