Geneen Roth article that I had to share

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

I’ve been away for some time now due to things going

on in my life, one of which is my husband having neck surgery in two weeks,

something he’s needed for over 3.5 years but couldn’t get the

proper diagnosis. Being the Intuitive Eating Support list owner and a

moderator, I have been seeing all the new members we’ve had and many of

the conversations going on. I’m really happy to see all the support you

are giving each other, you all have so much wisdom within you and it’s

awesome to see your willingness to share and help each other. Also, a huge

thank you to our other moderators, Eva and Abby, who have been there for this

group and helped so much. It’s a huge relief to know I have that support

and that the group is being taken care of when I can’t be here. Hopefully

I will be closer to full speed with my business and my participation here in a

few months. Right now I’m mainly focusing on my coaching clients and

dealing with all the other stuff in my personal life that has taken my energy

and attention.

If there has been any lesson in all this, and I always try

to look for the lessons in difficult times, it’s the reminder that

self-care is the best way I can make sure I am available to deal with

everything and that the world will not collapse if I can’t be “in

control” of all the things I “should” be doing. Thanks

Universe, for the reminder! J

Anyway, I just received Geneen Roth’s latest

newsletter and the main article was awesome. I always like to remind those

working on intuitive eating that the journey is just as if not more important

than the destination. Geneen gives a couple of excellent examples of this. I

couldn’t fine a link to the article on her site, so I’ve copied it

below. I hope you get a lot of value out of it!

______________________________

The Gift of Kindness

From Geneen Roth, Vol. 3, Issue 7 November 11, 2010

e-newsletter

Recently, I drove into in a nine-story parking garage in San Francisco, and after

I finished my errands, I couldn't remember where I'd parked. My husband, who

was in away at the time, had called just as I pulled into the space, and I was

so happy to speak to him that I didn't write down the floor or space number.

Although I'd parked in this same garage hundreds of times, and although I'd

always parked on the same floor, in the same section, it now seemed as if my

car had disappeared. During the first 20 minutes of schlepping from floor to

floor, I was the model of equanimity. " It's here somewhere, sweetheart, "

I said to myself. " You'll find it soon. " But then panic set in: What

if my car was stolen? What if I had to stay here until every other car was gone

so that my car would be obvious? I was tired, hungry, and probably a teeny bit

more hysterical than the average person.

Then, two women in a white car pulled up. " Are you

getting out of your space? " they asked, eyeing my shopping bags.

" I would if only I could find it " I said, sounding

desolate. " I've lost my car.”

" Would you like to get in? We could drive you around

and help you find your car. "

Before the driver could finish her sentence, I nodded my

head, said thank you, and leaped into the backseat. For 40 minutes, we

carefully examined every single car on every single floor. We'd inch up on each

silver sedan, hopeful, excited, only to find it wasn't mine.

After 42 minutes of searching, I began to question my

sanity. " Maybe I didn't park in this garage after all, " I muttered.

" Maybe I took my husband's ca and not mine, " I said in a

semi-whisper.

My twin saviors remained cheerful, although I am certain

they were wondering if they' picked up a vagrant lunatic. When, at the end of

the 45th minute, we found my car, I began squealing with delight and relief.

" Let me give you something, " I said.

" Anything. Do you want my earrings? My coat? My firstborn dog?. "

They laughed. " Your parking space would be

enough, " they answered in unison.

As I was driving away, I was ecstatic. Not only because I

was actually able to drive away, but because what had been an incredibly

stressful situation was tempered by such unexpected kindness. Now, weeks after

the incident, I am still awed by my rescuers' patience and willingness to

postpone their errands to help a stranger. What could have been a disaster for

me produced a multitude of gifts, as disasters often do. Often, when the worst

happens, the best shows up as well. If I (and you) look around, the evidence is

undeniable.

I think of a man my friend knows who was just

diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS).

Soon, his hands and arms and legs will no longer work. But he keeps telling

that the anticipation of the loss has heightened his awareness of all

he has. He says, " If I didn't know I was losing my ability to move, I

would never have found an appreciation of the simplest things. " Every time

he lifts one of his children, he is aware that his arms are still working, that

he can smell their hair, kiss their cheeks. And when he makes sandwiches, he

says, he is amazed at the wonder of each micromovement: taking the lettuce out

of the refrigerator, spreading the mayonnaise, slicing the chicken, cutting the

bread. " I've made a million sandwiches in my life, but I don't think I

noticed making any one of them. "

Obviously, given the choice to have Lou Gehrig's disease or

be healthy, he would still choose being well, but since he doesn't have that

choice, he is finding the blessing forged by the pain. The truth is that we can

never know the greatness that will come from any loss until the loss is upon

us. It's the loss itself that brings the good things we have into sharp relief.

For those of us who struggle with weight, there seem to be

no kindnesses or blessings in the midst of the battle. It's not because they aren't

there; rather, it's because we don't look for them. We expect all good things

to start when we finally lose all the weight we want.

Let me say this right now: There are blessings in the middle

of your frustration over food and weight; there are victories that live at the

center of every defeat. Look for them now. If you don't, losing weight will not

make them any clearer to you.

One after another, my students have told me about the times

in their lives they've lost weight, hoping that their new thinner body would

make everything they wanted possible. In fact, almost all of them wanted to

lose weight because they were convinced it would change something fundamental

in their lives: their feelings of self-regard, their willingness to be kind to

themselves.

Then they discovered that when the weight changes, feelings

don't.

Here's what I know: What you are looking for you can find

now. You can find kindness and blessings in the heat of the struggle. In fact,

that's when you're most likely to find them. I would not have learned that

people can be so caring and generous if I hadn't lost my car in a parking

garage and accepted the surprising gift of kindness from strangers.

Try this little exercise: Think about how you might be

blessed now, no matter what you weigh. Do you feel joy about the little things,

like braiding your daughter's hair; taking time to answer your son's question

about caterpillars becoming butterflies; holding your husband's hand when

you're at the movies? Do you feel a sense of victory when you aren't mean to

yourself for eating too much or give yourself a pat on the back for passing up

the irresistible cinnamon bun that calls to you at the mall?

This seemingly Sisyphean task of weight loss could be your

best opportunity to learn how to be your own savior. Now is the time to be kind

to yourself when you fail and congratulate yourself when you do the right

thing, before you're as thin as you want to be.

Because it's not going to magically happen when you hit a

certain number on the scale. I know this because not one student--not one--has

ever, in 30 years, told me that she was kinder to herself when she lost weight.

But every single student has told me the opposite: that when she gives herself

what she wants most--treating herself with tenderness--no matter what she

weighs, she already has what thin will give to her.

Ask yourself what the kindest thing you could do for

yourself now would be. Something that doesn't require money or waiting for a

result in the future. And when you know what that is, lavish it upon yourself.

Because, unlike cars and keys and glasses, once you have it, you will never

lose it.

Thanks!

Gillian

Gillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

Get your report, " The 6 Steps to Guilt-Fr*e Eating " at http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com

Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood