Newbie: Tired of having a war with myself

[Guest guest]

I read Intuitive eating several years ago and thought it was the best book I've

ever read on weight loss. It seemed so " loving " and gentle, versus restrictive

and lecturing.

I'm one of those people who used to eat anything and never gain weight, then I

turned 40 ten years ago, and I started putting on weight and I keep gaining. I

have a hard time finding clothes that fit and once I got into the 1x sizes I was

in complete denial. I started hating getting my photo taken.

In the rest of my life I am completely happy and have a great career and

personal life. I am not an emotional eater and have never had an eating

disorder. The best I can say is " I enjoy food, because it tastes good! " I

don't feel like I over eat. I probably eat 2/3 of what I used to eat in my 30's,

but I still gain weight.

One thing I haven't tried is reach out for a support buddy. I think I've

isolated myself because I don't want to talk about my weight problem with people

I know. Most are thin and into exercising. Some of them are obsessed with food.

The way they deal with food would feel like self-abuse to me.

I want to enjoy who I am and what I do, and not be at war with who I am. I want

to treat my body well and not hate it for being fat.

I don't want to attend diet meetings, nor do I want to weigh myself, because all

it does is make me demoralized.

I've always felt that if I get my mind in the right place and really pay

attention, the problem will solve itself. I think if I had someone to check in

with, or make weekly mini goals with, it might be helpful, especially in a group

like this where people have the same values (intuitive eating) and challenges

and celebrations. I'm not sure how that would work, but I am interested in

maybe trying to have a few email buddies who I could write directly to, with

each other just to check in on what is going on around weight loss goals. I'm

not sure if that is doable on a yahoo site.

Boy, I feel like I've written an essay here! Whew! Guess I got a lot off my

chest!