Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Hi Lori,I'm new here so first let me say hi!My question is this: if you went to your favorite Italian place tonight and ate your fill (whatever that may be) of chicken parm would you want it again tomorrow? Next week? Next month?I'm going through this myself now with fish and chips. It's something I've hated my whole life but now want at every meal. For now I'm playing along (well not every meal) but am a little nervous how long this will last. Hi Everyone, I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then the stress will be just waiting to see how things go. I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!! As far as food goes..wow..it's much more of a challenge when my level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are messing with me sometimes!! I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and I used to go five days in a row before I can stop. What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need to get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will to stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used to continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body that's already big. I'm not beating myself up. But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have certain foods that are still "special" and I have no will power to eat a "normal" amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I can have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't think I want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times in a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb weight gain cause I don't stop at a normal amount. I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then there are foods that are still "special" so how can I be the normal eater I want to be around those foods? I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!! Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Laurie,It sounds to me like you still haven't legalizd chicken parm for yourself. Your fear that if you eat as much as you want you will gain weight. which is making you choose salad instead some of the time... which means that when you do allow yourself to have the chicken parm, you eat more than you need or want. But if you think about it, you are eating more than you want because it is limited and special. What if you know that as SOON as you wanted more, you could have it? dont you think then it would be easier to eat only until you are full/satisfied, and then stop? My suggestion would be to order way more than you could possibly eat, and then bring home tons of leftovers, and promise yourself that you can have more anytime you want it! And then KEEP that promise to yourself! But the next time you get hungry, tell yourself that you can have whatever you want.... and then ask if you WANT the chicken parm right then, or would you prefer something else? And then go with what you are truly craving. but keep lots of chicken parm around and at the ready for the next time you want it. this is a really powerful exercise and taught me that i could trust myself. it's pretty amazing! i remember when i first started IE, i read about someone buying five giant bags of chips at the supermarket, and feeling proud for not being embarrassed in the checkout line... and taking them home and sitting down at the kitchen table and eating them very consciously... it was really cool to read about this, and see all the others in the group cheering her on. good luck!abby Hi Everyone, I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then the stress will be just waiting to see how things go. I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!! As far as food goes..wow..it's much more of a challenge when my level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are messing with me sometimes!! I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and I used to go five days in a row before I can stop. What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need to get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will to stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used to continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body that's already big. I'm not beating myself up. But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have certain foods that are still " special " and I have no will power to eat a " normal " amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I can have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't think I want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times in a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb weight gain cause I don't stop at a normal amount. I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then there are foods that are still " special " so how can I be the normal eater I want to be around those foods? I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!! Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Hi Lori (and everyone), I am new here as well, and struggling with the same sort of dilemma... my fear of gaining weight from eating anything I want is keeping those feelings of guilt in me somwhere. I tell myself I can eat a handful of Ritz crackers, because I'm hungry and it's what I feel like eating, but afterward I binge on more, and then something else, and then more of something else. I know that that is evidence that I have not given myself complete permission to eat whatever I want to, but I'm not sure how to do that. Whenever I think I have, those feelings of anxiety and weight gain come back out of nowhere and create an urge to binge. Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome the fear of gaining weight? (I apologize if this topic has already been covered!) Thanks! Rach > > > Hi Everyone, > > I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the > > earth!!! I was very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this > > upcoming week I aught to have all the rest taken care of and then > > the stress will be just waiting to see how things go. > > > > I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!! > > > > As far as food goes..wow..it's much more of a challenge when my > > level of stress is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are > > messing with me sometimes!! > > > > I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and > > I used to go five days in a row before I can stop. > > > > What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till > > about 6pm or so, and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, > > but that meal is way, way bigger than any human being would need to > > get full; I think I'm having a big feast, lol. I have zero will to > > stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm over-full, whereas I used > > to continue to binge through the night and into the next day, I'm > > not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the next > > day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, > > but still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body > > that's already big. I'm not beating myself up. > > > > But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer > > that if we eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but > > sometimes I think the amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to > > be ordinary would create a bunch more weight gain. I have certain > > foods that are still " special " and I have no will power to eat a > > " normal " amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I can > > have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian > > restaurant version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to > > stop eating right now. I think the goal is balance; I don't think I > > want to be a health extremist, but I sure want to eat a large > > variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the chicken parm > > cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I > > avoid it forever. But I don't really want to have it ten times in > > a row til it seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb > > weight gain cause I don't stop at a > > normal amount. > > > > I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is > > restricted but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have > > the chicken parm AGAIN to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick > > the salad because it's so good for me. If I could just have a > > normal balance of variety of foods that would be great, but then > > there are foods that are still " special " so how can I be the normal > > eater I want to be around those foods? > > > > I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!! > > > > Laurie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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