Re: Re: Disowned

[Guest guest]

My mom disowned me and told me I was dead to her because she didn't like my

choice of boyfriend. This went on for 7 years. Even though I have forgiven her

as best I can, I will never forget the feeling of being totally and almost

permanently abandoned by my parents. I say almost permanently because I almost

killed myself because of all the intense and unending pressure she put me under.

It was unbearable.

I still love my parents, but that love comes unconditionally from me...not from

them.

They say they love me...but if I didn't " do the right thing " and marry someone

they liked, then I wonder how things would have played out. Their love is

Conditional.

Amy

Re: Disowned

Hello. I am new to this membership. I was looking through past messages that

had something to do with the keyword of being disowned. I was taken aback when I

saw your message, it is almost identical to my life/posting. I know you posted

this over 4 years ago, but I would love to hear how you have managed or are

managing. My mother disowned me shortly before I was to be married too, and I

have been refused by her now for 8 years. Have you been able to reconnect with

your family? If not, how have you faired? My mom fits the bill for BPD, and

although I have made peace with this as much as I can, I still feel unbalanced

in my life. I often find myself feeling jealous of most people and their

relationships with their parents, no matter how messed up they are. I am always

thinking, " well, at least your [parent] loves you! " Do you feel this way too?

Just curious and wanting to connect to someone who may have experienced such a

walk in life.

Sincerely,

Bailie Girl

>

> Hi. I'm new to the group, 30 years old, female. My mother stopped

> speaking to me because I got engaged while visiting my now husband's

> family. She tried everything in her power to stop my wedding. We are

> now married, and I have no contact with her, my father, or my brother.

> We have much more family, all of whom my mother has written off for

> speaking to me. Any advice for how to cope with the idea that I will

> never have a mother, father, or brother again?

>

[Guest guest]

I got disowned shortly after I got engaged in March 2009. I got married in

July of this year--with absolutely no interference from them, since my fada

and nada wouldn't talk to me, and after trying to resolve the issues,

WITHOUT stooping to their level or trying to compromise myself, I just

maintained that NC.

My bada also disowned me, too. He got married earlier this year, as well. I

have 4 other younger siblings ranging from 7-12 yrs old. I will probably not

be able to see any of them for a long time, if ever, and that's really tough

for me still to come to terms with, but I still am holding out hope. I have

a love-box with stuff that I want to mail them or write to them, for when

they get older.

I love them, but I refuse to let them hurt me. It still hurts, and I still

have fleas...but that's what therapy is for.

Sorry to say that quite a few of us have been disowned at some point.

Holly

>

>

> My mom disowned me and told me I was dead to her because she didn't like my

> choice of boyfriend. This went on for 7 years. Even though I have forgiven

> her as best I can, I will never forget the feeling of being totally and

> almost permanently abandoned by my parents. I say almost permanently because

> I almost killed myself because of all the intense and unending pressure she

> put me under. It was unbearable.

>

> I still love my parents, but that love comes unconditionally from me...not

> from them.

> They say they love me...but if I didn't " do the right thing " and marry

> someone they liked, then I wonder how things would have played out. Their

> love is Conditional.

> Amy

>

> Re: Disowned

>

> Hello. I am new to this membership. I was looking through past messages

> that had something to do with the keyword of being disowned. I was taken

> aback when I saw your message, it is almost identical to my life/posting. I

> know you posted this over 4 years ago, but I would love to hear how you have

> managed or are managing. My mother disowned me shortly before I was to be

> married too, and I have been refused by her now for 8 years. Have you been

> able to reconnect with your family? If not, how have you faired? My mom fits

> the bill for BPD, and although I have made peace with this as much as I can,

> I still feel unbalanced in my life. I often find myself feeling jealous of

> most people and their relationships with their parents, no matter how messed

> up they are. I am always thinking, " well, at least your [parent] loves you! "

> Do you feel this way too? Just curious and wanting to connect to someone who

> may have experienced such a walk in life.

>

> Sincerely,

> Bailie Girl

>

>

> >

> > Hi. I'm new to the group, 30 years old, female. My mother stopped

> > speaking to me because I got engaged while visiting my now husband's

> > family. She tried everything in her power to stop my wedding. We are

> > now married, and I have no contact with her, my father, or my brother.

> > We have much more family, all of whom my mother has written off for

> > speaking to me. Any advice for how to cope with the idea that I will

> > never have a mother, father, or brother again?

> >

>

>