Freakin' Fleas

[Guest guest]

So my friend called me 5 out of the last 6 days, in crisis with her mom.

(Alzheimer's, sadly). She needed help that I couldn't give, and I had to fill

in as I could--not as she wanted. Adding to that, some other friends are going

through some awful stuff, I had a lot to do today, I couldn't get to my task

list, and I was falling behind!! I freaked out inside.

Of course, on the external, I was calm and capable. Inside, I was STRESSED!!!

I decided to lay down for 5 minutes and get clarity. Suddenly, it occured to me

.. . .

Nothing in my life was worthy of the panic I was feeling inside. In fact, I was

stressed out like " bad guy with a gun to my head right now, " not " life happens

and this is a tough day " stressed. My physical being was wound up as though

someone had just broken into my house and was threatening the lives of my

children. It literally felt like, if I didn't do something and do it NOW,

someone I loved was going to die.

After I realized how out-of-proportion my stress was, I took stock. My children

were calmly reading comic books. My task list really wasn't all that daunting.

I had friends in crisis, but I'm kind of a lay pastor of sorts, and support many

people through crisis in any given week. It was a little worse than normal, but

nothing that unusual.

I fell prey to nada's freakin' histrionics. Of course, never on the external

because I wasn't allowed to freak out growing up, but definitely inside.

Hysteria had a grip on me, and I didn't even notice it until I was physically

sick.

Sheesh.

On the positive side . . .I'm pretty proud of myself for " catching " me this

time!! I'm going to try to remember that--try for a proportionate response for

what is REALLY going on around me. If there are no gunmen within 200 feet of

me, I don't really need to be that panicked.

Thanks for listening,

Karla