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  • 5 years later...

Hi, All.

I welcome anyone who wants to offer me some encouragement or share your own struggles about this:

My pants are tighter by a lot after 3 months of IE. And this morning I had a lot of ice cream when I wasn't at all hungry. I'm aware of the Voice of Diets Past in the background, that makes me feel:

- I'm freaking out because I'm gaining weight

- Why isn't IE "working"?

- I'm going to "confess" my "binge" to my best friend or my partner.

- I've got to get better at not eating for emotional reasons.

- I've got to get good enough at it that I start losing some weight.

I'm trying hard to replace that thinking with:

- IE is a looooong process and I'm grappling with the results of more than 50 years of harsh dieting. I need to be patient.

- Yes, I want to get better at not eating for emotional reasons, but gradually, gently, with observation over time, and not because I have to lose weight by next week.

- there's no reason to "confess" because what I've eaten is a private matter, to notice and learn from, and I'm not looking for someone else's judgment or absolution.

- I don't even want to use the word "binge" because it wasn't actually a wild out of control eating-to-stuffed experience (which I've had plenty of in the past) it was just a neutral episode of eating for emotional reasons.

- Even though the thought of buying bigger pants is horrifying, I have to keep trying to put weight loss on the back burner.

- My need for autonomy in my eating outweighs my need to lose weight so I will keep trying to reassure myself that the next eating experience is another opportunity to get maximum satisfaction based on my body's needs, and that every meal eaten when I'm not hungry is a chance to learn something more about myself.

I do think that what got me eating this morning was an excessively intense work day - I always get scared of being too tired when I have too many appointments on my calendar - combined with a lack of good food available and a fear that I wouldn't be able to get any.

Thanks for listening!

April

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Thanks, Sunny, for validating how hard this is!

April

Thanks for this April. I've been working on learning/doing IE for a couple months now and I too have gained weight. Partly from the Holidays and partly from learning the "eat what you want" part first. If you get my drift. My problem is that medically and physically I can't gain more weight. And I really need to lose some soon. I'd say at least 10% of my body weight just to be able to do some normal things most people take for granted that are very difficult for me now due to being 100 pounds or more over weight. So while I am trying really hard to be accepting and patient, I am also anxious and panicked all the time about it.

I'd love to have a realistic discussion about this issue. I know I'm not the only person here with the problem.

Thanks!

Sunny

patience

Hi, All.

I welcome anyone who wants to offer me some encouragement or share your own struggles about this:

My pants are tighter by a lot after 3 months of IE. And this morning I had a lot of ice cream when I wasn't at all hungry. I'm aware of the Voice of Diets Past in the background, that makes me feel:

- I'm freaking out because I'm gaining weight

- Why isn't IE "working"?

- I'm going to "confess" my "binge" to my best friend or my partner.

- I've got to get better at not eating for emotional reasons.

- I've got to get good enough at it that I start losing some weight.

I'm trying hard to replace that thinking with:

- IE is a looooong process and I'm grappling with the results of more than 50 years of harsh dieting. I need to be patient.

- Yes, I want to get better at not eating for emotional reasons, but gradually, gently, with observation over time, and not because I have to lose weight by next week.

- there's no reason to "confess" because what I've eaten is a private matter, to notice and learn from, and I'm not looking for someone else's judgment or absolution.

- I don't even want to use the word "binge" because it wasn't actually a wild out of control eating-to-stuffed experience (which I've had plenty of in the past) it was just a neutral episode of eating for emotional reasons.

- Even though the thought of buying bigger pants is horrifying, I have to keep trying to put weight loss on the back burner.

- My need for autonomy in my eating outweighs my need to lose weight so I will keep trying to reassure myself that the next eating experience is another opportunity to get maximum satisfaction based on my body's needs, and that every meal eaten when I'm not hungry is a chance to learn something more about myself.

I do think that what got me eating this morning was an excessively intense work day - I always get scared of being too tired when I have too many appointments on my calendar - combined with a lack of good food available and a fear that I wouldn't be able to get any.

Thanks for listening!

April

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April,

I'm glad you shared with us. Hopefully just the act of doing so made you feel a little better.

Sometimes when I freak out about my weight, I ask myself " so what? " Like, what will happen if I need bigger pants? Will the world stop turning? Will ANYONE care besides me?

Your weight and your appearance do not reflect your value as a person, what you bring to the world.And lets say you are 100 pounds overweight... is another 5 pounds in either direction going to change this radically? 

Beyond that... it's great that you can articulate the source of your anxiety! So maybe a next step could be finding a way to provide solutions or at least comfort to your body. For example, if you were worried that there wouldn't be good food available while you were working... what if you packed an insulated cooler bag full of good food to bring with you. When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies STRONGLY recommends this tactic, actually carrying a food bag at all times. The authors feel this is a very important tool in preventing emotional eating.

Another tactic might be promising yourself that you will stop work by a certain time, no matter what.

I think that while recognizing the source of your anxiety is AWESOME, you now have to have a self-care substitute if you are going to stop using food for that. Otherwise, you're essentially recognizing your needs... and then ignoring them. 

Remember that you are not giving up on losing weight by using IE... you are looking for long term solutions. and i think a big part of that is learning to take better care of yourself, NOW, regardless of weight, and without regard to food.

i hope this helps. i KNOW this is hard and frustrating and scary! and i really am sympathetic.all the best,

abby

> Hi, All. > I welcome anyone who wants to offer me some encouragement or share your

> own struggles about this:> > My pants are tighter by a lot after 3 months of IE. And this morning I > had a lot of ice cream when I wasn't at all hungry. I'm aware of the Voice

> of Diets Past in the background, that makes me feel: > - I'm freaking out because I'm gaining weight> - Why isn't IE " working " ?> - I'm going to " confess " my " binge " to my best friend or my partner.

> - I've got to get better at not eating for emotional reasons. > - I've got to get good enough at it that I start losing some weight. > > I'm trying hard to replace that thinking with:

> > - IE is a looooong process and I'm grappling with the results of more than > 50 years of harsh dieting. I need to be patient. > - Yes, I want to get better at not eating for emotional reasons, but

> gradually, gently, with observation over time, and not because I have to lose > weight by next week. > - there's no reason to " confess " because what I've eaten is a private > matter, to notice and learn from, and I'm not looking for someone else's

> judgment or absolution.> - I don't even want to use the word " binge " because it wasn't actually a > wild out of control eating-to-stuffed experience (which I've had plenty of

> in the past) it was just a neutral episode of eating for emotional reasons. > - Even though the thought of buying bigger pants is horrifying, I have to > keep trying to put weight loss on the back burner.

> - My need for autonomy in my eating outweighs my need to lose weight so I > will keep trying to reassure myself that the next eating experience is > another opportunity to get maximum satisfaction based on my body's needs, and

> that every meal eaten when I'm not hungry is a chance to learn something > more about myself. > > I do think that what got me eating this morning was an excessively intense > work day - I always get scared of being too tired when I have too many

> appointments on my calendar - combined with a lack of good food available and > a fear that I wouldn't be able to get any. > Thanks for listening!> April > >

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