Relaxing, and enjoying my NC

[Guest guest]

I've been doing lots more reading here over the last week, and I must

say, I am learning so much from everyone.

In the meantime, my NC with my mother has been enjoyable. She blew up on

my brother and his wife almost a month ago, and I had a barrage of phone

calls- and she was super-sweet. I wanted to call her back, but I

realized...I'd be taking the " bait. "

After three weeks of not talking to my brother, she finally called him.

Her reasons were two-fold, she needs him to help her with " stuff " around

the house, and she wanted to pump him for information!

When I moved out from her, I moved in with my boyfriend. My mother blew

up on him, but he had the sense to do what I didn't...he told her the

conversation she was trying to have was none of her business, and walked

out. She sees she can't manipulate him, so...that leaves her in a

quandry as far as what she can't do to him!

Mom called my brother, and asked him " when did your sister get married? "

Mind you, I've been divorced for 18 years, so I'm in no rush to get

married anytime soon! My brother responded perfectly- he told her my

marital status was " none of her business. " He said the reason why he

told her that- Mom is still holding onto the belief I am going to break

up with my boyfriend, and come running back to her! I thought that was

a smooth move on his part.

Since I am not calling my Mom back, she has taken to doing " stuff " to

get my attention. Because of some legal stuff, I can't remove myself

from two joint accounts I have with her. One she uses all the time, the

second one- I no longer use. Imagine my surprise on Monday, when I got

an email alert that second account was overdrawn!!!

She's been paying her household bills, using my account! Of course,

since she's on the account with me, I can't report it as fraud!

The bank won't let me remove myself from the account, so I closed that

one, after transferring money from " her " account into it, to cover the

$$ she overdrew it by!

I'll tell everyone here this- this hurt me emotionally. I've always had

access to her money, and it would never occur to me to " take " her money

or otherwise financially take advantage of her. After some long

thoughts about this over the last few days, I realized...I've filed

bankruptcy twice! And not because I couldn't pay my bills, but because

I was so busy covering her financial bullshit, I put myself into ruin!

My brother asked Mom, in a roundabout way- if she was using " my "

account. She got all dramatic with him, going on and on...he thought it

was rather funny.

I'm working through my guilt of being no contact...(wink wink, no guilt

here!) and I'm enjoying the peace and quiet of not being emotionally

manipulated day in and day out...