Re: Disowned

[Guest guest]

Hello. I am new to this membership. I was looking through past messages that

had something to do with the keyword of being disowned. I was taken aback when I

saw your message, it is almost identical to my life/posting. I know you posted

this over 4 years ago, but I would love to hear how you have managed or are

managing. My mother disowned me shortly before I was to be married too, and I

have been refused by her now for 8 years. Have you been able to reconnect with

your family? If not, how have you faired? My mom fits the bill for BPD, and

although I have made peace with this as much as I can, I still feel unbalanced

in my life. I often find myself feeling jealous of most people and their

relationships with their parents, no matter how messed up they are. I am always

thinking, " well, at least your [parent] loves you! " Do you feel this way too?

Just curious and wanting to connect to someone who may have experienced such a

walk in life.

Sincerely,

Bailie Girl

>

> Hi. I'm new to the group, 30 years old, female. My mother stopped

> speaking to me because I got engaged while visiting my now husband's

> family. She tried everything in her power to stop my wedding. We are

> now married, and I have no contact with her, my father, or my brother.

> We have much more family, all of whom my mother has written off for

> speaking to me. Any advice for how to cope with the idea that I will

> never have a mother, father, or brother again?

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Yes, I've recently been " disowned " by my BPD/narcissist father.

Mother is BPD, childlike, bi-polar and their both 90 yrs. old. Mother has

late

stage alzheimers so she just does whatever fada tells her.

The 2 of them were living with us and we were totally caring for them. We

have been jumping thru hoops for 11 years for them; I, personally, have

been jumping thru hoops for my entire life. A few months ago, fada thru a 3

yr. old tantrum, packed the 2 of them up and left. Haven't heard a word

since; other then bits and pieces from my sister about how bitter he is.

For 2 months I cried alot, was angry, hurt and all the feelings that go

along with dealing with mentally disturbed parents. I'm okay now, but I

understand your feeling of being " unbalanced " . You need to understand that

their " love " is conditional. It's a tough pill to swallow, but it's true.

It doesn't matter what made your mother " disown " you, you did nothing

wrong; it's how they function and operate.

I still wonder " what did I do wrong? what could I have done? " . I know

the answer to both is " nothing " . But I completely understand the feelings of

abandonment and confusion you must be feeling.

Welcome to our 'club'.

Hugs & healing,

Laurie

In a message dated 10/30/2010 12:14:26 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

jennbailie@... writes:

Hi. I am a new member. My mom fits the bill for BPD, and I am looking for

support and insight from other BPD suffers. My mom has basically disowned me

for the last 8 years and I have been learning about myself and her.

Although I have made peace with this as much as I can, I still feel unbalanced

in

my life. Anyone else been disowned by their BPD parent, and if so, how

have you managed?

I think the worst thing is, or saddest thing is of growing up as child of

a BPD parent, is that I have come to realize how jaded I am as a grown

adult. I still feel jealous of most people and their relationships with their

parents, no matter how messed up they are. I am always thinking, " well, at

least your [parent] loves you. " I would love to know if others too have met

the final straw with their BPD parent (got disowned/cut-off) and how they've

been coping with it?

Much interest,

Bailie