Re: Pain Pain Pain.... need support

January 4, 2008

First of all YOUR doctor needs to get some grip with the fact that many of us

are in pain that is equal to the pain of cancer. Just because he cannot see it

on some damn test does not mean the pain is not excruciating. Just another

example of ingnorance.

I know how you feel about fearing you are a burden. But remember, your

husband does obviously love you and if I remember right there is something in

those vows that mentions " for better or for worse.... in sickness and in

health " ... he may be one of the few that take those vows to heart.

As for the suicide thing.... I see your point. But as I said before I really

don't think it is an answer.

Just know we are here for you.

love and hugs,

Debra V.

" carmen.niemi " wrote:

I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what

was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor

there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some

reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said,

people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

cancer etc.

In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and

a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him

too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I

just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

for him, though in different ways.

Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

say, " what is it now... "

I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic

pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But

I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel

like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about

wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

one seems to understand anymore.

I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

more than I could handle. Would he?

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

January 4, 2008

>

> I think the past few months have been trying to prepare me for what

> was coming. I have been able to find more pain than I thought

> possible. My left leg from hip to toes has been in spasms since

> December 22. That day my husband took me to the ER. The doctor

> there was kind and respectful to what was going on. He gave me some

> reasonable pain medication; in fact he was the first to give me

> proper medication. So, I actually felt quite well over Christmas.

> That was it. I saw my doctor the other day and he sneered and said,

> people who take that level of pain medication should be dying of

> cancer etc.

> In the meantime, I am starting to feel sad, and I am on Effexor, and

> a very large dose of that. I am afraid for my life. I am afraid of

> losing my handsome, active caring husband, because this sucks for him

> too. He has found some entertainment that does not include me, but I

> still fear. He says he loves me and would never leave, but I know, I

> just know how hard it is for me, so it has to be equally difficult

> for him, though in different ways.

> Friends, co workers, my mother, they all look at me as if to

> say, " what is it now... "

>

> I read recently that the #1 cause of death among people with chronic

> pain was suicide. Don't get me wrong I am NOT suicidal at all. But

> I understand what they are saying. Life is constant pain, and I feel

> like I am watching it go by. For the first time in my life I

> understand that suicide is not about being sad, in fact it is about

> wanting to unburden others and about not feeling this pain that no

> one seems to understand anymore.

>

> I love my husband and my kids with my whole heart, soul, fibre and

> being. I just wish I didn't feel like such a burden to them.

>

> Then there is light... I know my fight is for a reason, even if I

> can't quite figure that out right now. I know God wouldn't give me

> more than I could handle. Would he?

>

Carmen, you got my total support, i know how you feel, as i feel the

same way! I lost my job back in Aug, my husband has been working his

butt off to support us, I just found out that i have a whole spine of

bulging disc, my surgeon has sent me home for 3 months on pain

management, and people look at me like I'm freaking crazy when i tell

them that I can not work because I hurt so bad, my own kids have even

givin' me grief about it! So i believe we are on the same boat, feel

free to contact me, on my e-mail I'm here for you, as I'm sure as the

rest of the group!!!!Leanne

January 4, 2008

Hi Carmen I'm Amy and I'm pretty new here. I wanted to tell you to keep you chin

up I don't think That God and Mother God (my belief you don't have to share)

would give you more then you could handle. I have a great husband and support

system as well and I feel the same as you do. I just have to believe that if

they didn't want to be there for us the wouldn't be. That's what my husband says

anyway. Lots of love and support vibes your way.

Take care

Amy