Re: Working out our triggers

[Guest guest]

Dear Kazam,

" I think because our feelings were played down as children as adults

there is confusion to what is worth standing up for and what is not. "

I totally have same confusion. It is  because my inner voice was so totally

obliterated in my enslavement to my mother.  I no longer have any trust in my

gut inclinations (instincts).  I am baffled over what to do, what is right? 

However,   the rest I disagree with.  I believe women need support and a 13

year

old is old enough to maintain themselves in a professional environment.  It

sounds to me like the employee was right to be hesitant to call you.  You want

to punish. 

You said " I instantly felt rage " . And she did tell you "  one of the staff

members rang about another issue and mentioned that she took her 13 yr old son

to work. "

I believe as a shopper, as a past manager, as someone who needs money and as a

mother that you would be better served accommodating the older, infrequent, well

behaved employee guest. Even better welcome them. I also think a mindset of not

succumbing to everything as a " rock the boat " incident. Allow yourself and the

people around you some freedom of tension. I don't mean that if  anyone is

unruly you shouldn't speak up to the parent immediately and respectfully.  I

just suggest you sound as if you have a sharp edge and you really, really ought

to softened it. 

You say " The trigger was not being asked and someone doing what they wanted

without any concern to my feelings on the subject in my business. " Sounds like

a overly harsh interpetation to me. She was scared to ask you, seemed like she

felt guilty and really wanted to be safe to tell you.  She did tell you right

after. 

 The universe is trying to bring us gifts and we need to be open to receive

them.

Sue