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Excuses, Excuses

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So I've told my mom that I need space before I can spend time around her again

after everything that's gone on (primarily the way she's spoken to and treated

my husband). That's good. But now she's coming up with every excuse under the

sun to see me.

She's got mail for us, can I come pick it up?

She found something we left behind when we moved, can I come get it?

She'll buy me a free dinner/lunch/tea/whatever if we go out to chat.

There's a sale on photofinishing at Costco, can she print some of my pics for

me?

My dad is feeling depressed because I'm not talking to them.

That last one - her most recent effort - almost got to me. I really love my dad

even if he's the King of Denial and I really hate feeling depressed, so I

wouldn't wish it on him. But I just don't know what to say to people who insist

that I should pretend everything is normal when it's so clearly not, and I'm

scared that I'll get sucked in and start feeling guilty for ever believing there

was something wrong with my mother EVEN THOUGH THERE IS. That's how it always

goes.

I know this is a boundaries thing and I need to stick to my guns, but it's

annoying and a little bit tough to be subjected to such a constant barrage. I

guess that's the strategy. I'm sure at least some of you guys have been there.

How did you deal with the guilt? What did you do to keep your resolve strong and

not lose faith that you were doing the right thing?

Psyclone

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