was this sexual abuse?

[Guest guest]

I didnt want to hijack the other thread so created another.

I have not discussed this with my therapist and Im cringing knowing what Im

getting ready to right here...literally want to fly up into the corner of the

room and never come down when I think about it...

I dont know if this was sexual abuse per se, but I know it was abusive and the

fact that I remember it makes me wonder if I was older.

When I was potty training, my mother used to make me sit on the toilet for

hours. And even when I didnt have to go, she would make me sit there and sit

there. And God forbid I ever had an accident...the hell that broke loose for

DAYS.

It wasnt just that she made me sit there. She would turn the light off in a

windowless bathroom and shut the door when I didn't go as much as she thought I

should or at all. She would tell me we were in a hurry and I had to hurry and if

I didn't go, she would get her purse and act like she was walking out the door,

leaving me in the dark, windowless bathroom alone. I was always terrified of

being left alone. I remember faling asleep on the toilet one time because I sat

there so long and SHE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME.

God I cant even talk about this anymore.

She would make jokes about how I was impossible to potty train in front of my

friends well up until I was a teenager and young adult.

Re: Various forms of sexual abuse by nada

My nada used to go into my brother's bedroom *naked* when he was a teenager

after her evening bath to " talk " to him.To me,that is going beyond mere " covert

incest " because my brother was forced to sit there on his bed enduring her

nakedness and whatever reactions he was having to it and listen to her banal

chit chat as if nothing weird or intentionally provocative was going on.I think

nada loved having this sick power over him and got off on his feelings of

shame.Obviously her behavior was intentional.

>

> I was thinking about this responding to another post. It took me years to

figure out (through a therapist) that I not only experienced physical and

emotional abuse from nada, but also a form of sexual abuse - primarily violating

boundaries.

>

> Examples:

>

> Waiting for me to shut my bedroom door to change clothes, then barging in

without knocking. She would never come in if the door was open - she purposely

waited till it was closed.

>

> Asking me to take a picture of her (dressed fortunately) to send to a man she

was fantasizing about having an affair with. I was 15. My parents were still

married.

>

> Routinely walking around naked in front of my teenage brother and I.

>

> Making sexual jokes to me from about age 12 on. Using sexual nicknames for my

teenage boyfriends. = " Morgasm. "

>

> Discussing intimate details of her sex life with me as I was a young teen.

>

> Did any of your nadas or fadas engage in this type of boundary violation?

>