Re: Relationships

[Guest guest]

I agree.

I have been in the same relationship since before I knew I had FM. I was such

a different person back then. He has watched the changes in me over the last 5

years. He does not want to talk about it, but I know he believes it.

If I were to ever be in the position again to start a new relationship (which

I don't see now)... I would tell someone from the beginning.

hugs,

Debra V.

jaimeislove wrote:

I just read an email about relationships and fm. This is my own

personal story. My fiance's ex wife has fm. He wasn't supportive of

her (not just beecause of the fm) so she never told him when she

hurt. I, on the other hand, talk to mu fiance about my pain. Yes,

there are days he thinks I'm whining, but he knows that sometimes it

helps just to talk about the pain. He suffers from migraines so he

knows about pain. He has been ultra supportive since finding out I

have fm. His ex wife and I are friends (now, we weren't for the

first 1 1/5 years of his and my relationship). We both support each

other now because we both know the pain of fm. She's great to talk

to and she's a nurse so she also gives me advice (heating pads, hot

baths, etc.)

I am a firm believer that if something has an affect on every day of

your life, you need to tell people that will be in your life every

day. I'm not saying tell someone on the first date, I'm saying when

you think there is a chance of something being long term, discuss it

with them.

Just my 2 cents!

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Amen ! ! !

To: Fibromyalgia_Support_Group@...: jaimeislove@...:

Mon, 7 Jan 2008 21:27:34 +0000Subject: Relationships

I just read an email about relationships and fm. This is my own personal story.

My fiance's ex wife has fm. He wasn't supportive of her (not just beecause of

the fm) so she never told him when she hurt. I, on the other hand, talk to mu

fiance about my pain. Yes, there are days he thinks I'm whining, but he knows

that sometimes it helps just to talk about the pain. He suffers from migraines

so he knows about pain. He has been ultra supportive since finding out I have

fm. His ex wife and I are friends (now, we weren't for the first 1 1/5 years of

his and my relationship). We both support each other now because we both know

the pain of fm. She's great to talk to and she's a nurse so she also gives me

advice (heating pads, hot baths, etc.)I am a firm believer that if something has

an affect on every day of your life, you need to tell people that will be in

your life every day. I'm not saying tell someone on the first date, I'm saying

when you think there is a chance of something being long term, discuss it with

them.Just my 2 cents!

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

I am married and have been having problems with my husband since i

have been feeling better actually. i almost feel like he was more

content w me lying around the house. now that i feel good and i want

to go out, it seems to be a problem. i am not sure if its due to my

FM persay but i left and we are now seperated temporarily. we have

different views on things. i like to have a social life especially

now that i am home all day with my son and i like to see my friends

when i have a chance. Maybe once or twice a month. And my husband is

VERY angry all the time and i dont know why cuz he wont talk about

it. he is honestly very moody and can go from 1 extreme to another

without anything happening in between. i wonder sometimes if he's

bipolar. not that he get violent or screamns. there is just alot of

tension everyday. so i though we needed a break from one another.

anyway, i know this is not a realtionship group and i am sorry to

vent like this.

take care

jerilyn

>

> I just read an email about relationships and fm. This is my own

> personal story. My fiance's ex wife has fm. He wasn't supportive

of

> her (not just beecause of the fm) so she never told him when she

> hurt. I, on the other hand, talk to mu fiance about my pain. Yes,

> there are days he thinks I'm whining, but he knows that sometimes

it

> helps just to talk about the pain. He suffers from migraines so he

> knows about pain. He has been ultra supportive since finding out I

> have fm. His ex wife and I are friends (now, we weren't for the

> first 1 1/5 years of his and my relationship). We both support

each

> other now because we both know the pain of fm. She's great to talk

> to and she's a nurse so she also gives me advice (heating pads, hot

> baths, etc.)

>

> I am a firm believer that if something has an affect on every day

of

> your life, you need to tell people that will be in your life every

> day. I'm not saying tell someone on the first date, I'm saying

when

> you think there is a chance of something being long term, discuss

it

> with them.

>

> Just my 2 cents!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I want to share alittle story with you all about my relationship to

let you know not all men are not bad and can accept whats going on

with you.

I guess I was lucky when it came to my husband understanding I

hurt,He doesn't understand why fibro acts this way though (but who

really does?). The job he had for many years he gave up on because it

took him out of state alot, a matter of fact in 2006 he was gone from

Jan. - Sept. helping with the clean-up of Katrina. Every day he would

call me just to see how the children and I were, when he came home in

Sept. we sat down and talked and he decided (all by hisself) that his

work was taking him away and that he need to be home to help me out.

He changes jobs about three times before he found one that he really

liked and that would suport all of us (since I wasn't working), it

was similar work to what he was doing but he would stay in town. He

started this job at the end of March this year and now he is out of

work do to his stroke. My turn to be understanding and caring.

I love my husband for so many reason, 1st one is he married me

knowing I had 4 kids and just got out of a absusive marriage. 2nd. He

has always been there for me no matter what. The funny thing is I met

him along time ago (when I was 17 yrs. old) and we ran into each

other when I was going through my divorce and he waited for the

divorce to be final before asking me out. Same year we got married

and a year later we had our daughter (shes now 8 yrs old). The really

nice thing is he treat all five children the same and as far as he is

concerned they are all his and no one can tell him different.

So they days I get depressed and mad (down right angry) I try and

think about all the good and sometime it helps ease the pain or at

least bring a smile to my face.

((((HUGS EVERYONE))))

Tina

> >

> > I just read an email about relationships and fm. This is my own

> > personal story. My fiance's ex wife has fm. He wasn't supportive

> of

> > her (not just beecause of the fm) so she never told him when she

> > hurt. I, on the other hand, talk to mu fiance about my pain. Yes,

> > there are days he thinks I'm whining, but he knows that sometimes

> it

> > helps just to talk about the pain. He suffers from migraines so

he

> > knows about pain. He has been ultra supportive since finding out

I

> > have fm. His ex wife and I are friends (now, we weren't for the

> > first 1 1/5 years of his and my relationship). We both support

> each

> > other now because we both know the pain of fm. She's great to

talk

> > to and she's a nurse so she also gives me advice (heating pads,

hot

> > baths, etc.)

> >

> > I am a firm believer that if something has an affect on every day

> of

> > your life, you need to tell people that will be in your life

every

> > day. I'm not saying tell someone on the first date, I'm saying

> when

> > you think there is a chance of something being long term, discuss

> it

> > with them.

> >

> > Just my 2 cents!

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Mrs. Cheryl A. Deacon

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Try it now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jerilyn - I wasn't sure what to say at first about this. You're talking

about Mike, the seemingly sweet guy with the brain tumor? I imagine it

would be very difficult for him to see you feeling better, when he is not

feeling better. This is just a guess, but certainly his tumor is part of

the cause of his anger? You are in a difficult postition because it is very

hard to be supportive to someone who only communicates by anger. I hope the

temporary separation will help you both gain some perspective.

If he becomes dangerous because of the brain tumor, won't he have to be

hospitalized? Take care, and I hope venting helped.

Jeanne in WI

>I am married and have been having problems with my husband since i have

>been feeling better actually. i almost feel like he was more content w me

>lying around the house. now that i feel good and i want to go out, it seems

>to be a problem. i am not sure if its due to my FM persay but i left and we

>are now seperated temporarily. we have different views on things. i like to

>have a social life especially now that i am home all day with my son and i

>like to see my friends when i have a chance. Maybe once or twice a month.

>And my husband is VERY angry all the time and i dont know why cuz he wont

>talk about it. he is honestly very moody and can go from 1 extreme to

>another without anything happening in between. i wonder sometimes if he's

>bipolar. not that he get violent or screamns. there is just alot of tension

>everyday. so i though we needed a break from one another.

anyway, i know this is not a realtionship group and i am sorry to vent like

this.

> take care

> jerilyn

[Guest guest]

jeanne,

Hi my husband doesn't have a tumor. maybe u are mixing me up with

someone else??

have a great day

jerilyn

>

> Jerilyn - I wasn't sure what to say at first about this. You're

talking

> about Mike, the seemingly sweet guy with the brain tumor? I

imagine it

> would be very difficult for him to see you feeling better, when he

is not

> feeling better. This is just a guess, but certainly his tumor is

part of

> the cause of his anger? You are in a difficult postition because

it is very

> hard to be supportive to someone who only communicates by anger. I

hope the

> temporary separation will help you both gain some perspective.

> If he becomes dangerous because of the brain tumor, won't he have

to be

> hospitalized? Take care, and I hope venting helped.

> Jeanne in WI

>

>

> >I am married and have been having problems with my husband since i

have

> >been feeling better actually. i almost feel like he was more

content w me

> >lying around the house. now that i feel good and i want to go out,

it seems

> >to be a problem. i am not sure if its due to my FM persay but i

left and we

> >are now seperated temporarily. we have different views on things.

i like to

> >have a social life especially now that i am home all day with my

son and i

> >like to see my friends when i have a chance. Maybe once or twice a

month.

> >And my husband is VERY angry all the time and i dont know why cuz

he wont

> >talk about it. he is honestly very moody and can go from 1 extreme

to

> >another without anything happening in between. i wonder sometimes

if he's

> >bipolar. not that he get violent or screamns. there is just alot

of tension

> >everyday. so i though we needed a break from one another.

> anyway, i know this is not a realtionship group and i am sorry to

vent like

> this.

> > take care

> > jerilyn

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I guess I am. Confused. Anyway, good luck with the separation.

Jeanne in WI

> jeanne,

> Hi my husband doesn't have a tumor. maybe u are mixing me up with someone

> else??

> have a great day

> jerilyn

[Guest guest]

Hi Tina - I'm glad your husband is such a wondeful man. Mine is, too. He's

definitely one of the good guys. I really believe that just about any other

man would have divorced me long ago. I really hope that your husband has

the best recovery possible from the strokes, and that your family life

remains as stress free as possible. Take care.

Jeanne in WI

>I want to share alittle story with you all about my relationship to let you

>know not all men are not bad and can accept whats going on with you. I

>guess I was lucky when it came to my husband understanding I hurt,He

>doesn't understand why fibro acts this way though (but who really does?).

>The job he had for many years he gave up on because it took him out of

>state alot, a matter of fact in 2006 he was gone from Jan. - Sept. helping

>with the clean-up of Katrina. Every day he would call me just to see how

>the children and I were, when he came home in Sept. we sat down and talked

>and he decided (all by hisself) that his work was taking him away and that

>he need to be home to help me out. He changes jobs about three times before

>he found one that he really

liked and that would suport all of us (since I wasn't working), it was

similar work to what he was doing but he would stay in town. He started this

job at the end of March this year and now he is out of work do to his

stroke. My turn to be understanding and caring.

I love my husband for so many reason, 1st one is he married me knowing I had

4 kids and just got out of a absusive marriage. 2nd. He has always been

there for me no matter what. The funny thing is I met him along time ago

(when I was 17 yrs. old) and we ran into each

other when I was going through my divorce and he waited for the divorce to

be final before asking me out. Same year we got married and a year later we

had our daughter (shes now 8 yrs old). The really nice thing is he treat all

five children the same and as far as he is

concerned they are all his and no one can tell him different. So they days

I get depressed and mad (down right angry) I try and think about all the

good and sometime it helps ease the pain or at least bring a smile to my

face.

>

> ((((HUGS EVERYONE))))

> Tina